The Horror Honeys: Santa Clarita Diet: Relationship Goals, Not Foodie Goals

Santa Clarita Diet: Relationship Goals, Not Foodie Goals

A Full-Season Review with Bella Blitz

Santa Clarita Diet (2017-)


When Netflix hits a home run, they knock it out of the park, hit some innocent bystander on the head, bury them, and wait for them to come back to life clutching their pearls and wreaking havoc on suburbia. At least that’s what I imagine happened when the pitch for Santa Clarita Diet was, umm, pitched.

Unless you’ve been dead and buried since the streaming service started to control our lives, you have Netflix and have sat down to binge watch more than one of their original shows. Unlike the Amazon pilot season, which gives viewers (and the platform) the opportunity to check numbers before green-lighting an entire series, Netflix does what it wants. Which is dumping an entire season of a show on their service and waiting for the unsuspecting masses to find it, gorge themselves, and wait, angrily, for the next season.

Santa Clarita Diet was only slightly different in that there was some seriously obtuse advertising that preceded the release. What the hell was this show going to be about? Where the hell has Drew Barrymore been? And why the hell don’t we have more television shows featuring Timothy Olyphant? A little digging and the answer to the “most important” question proved to be easy enough to find. These people eat people. The rest, you just had to sit and watch to learn. And to laugh.

Not sure if this is a requirement to become a realtor or not...
Santa Clarita Diet opens innocently enough on the suburban life, a-la(ish) Leave It To Beaver. An ant farm of a living community, a happy(ish) family, successful(ish) realtor couple, and a rotten(ish) teenager. While attempting to sell a house, Sheila (Drew Barrymore) begins to violently vomit a curiously large amount of yellow liquid; culminating in the upheaval of some sort of organ, or organ like item. The failed sale leads to a failed hospital visit, where had they stayed, Sheila may have ended up in the morgue. Or on a daytime talk show.

Beginning to question her lack of heartbeat, thickening blood, and dying pain receptors, Sheila starts to tap into her more primitive desires: meat and sex and murder. In a moment of unbridled passion and hunger, Sheila takes a bite out of Gary’s (Nathan Fillion) fingers and realizes that this is what she’s been after the whole time.

But really, who isn’t after a piece of Nathan Fillion.

J.E.A.L.O.U.S.
Writhing in glorious satisfaction, Sheila is caught by her husband Joel (Timothy Olyphant), who looks on in horror and amazement as his wife swallows a chunk of Gary and begins to explain how she wants to make this work.

What this is, is being a zombie. And what happens after that is rife with humor, copious amounts of gore, and some twists on popular zombie lore that prove more interesting than what many fans of the genre, and especially non-fans, would think possible. Fueled with the knowledge their neighbor’s geeky, awkward kid can provide Sheila, Joel, and their daughter, have to figure out how to keep this undeadly secret in the family, off the cul-de-sac, and away from the dirty cop who lives next door.

When life hands you a zombie wife, smoke out with your copy neighbor.
Trust us.
Santa Clarita Diet is super good fun, and super gross. Utilizing some popular current themes such as corrupt cops, marijuana legalization, open communication between parents and kids, and even cross-cultural relationships, Santa Clarita Diet never loses sight of its humor or its humanity. At the end of the day, Sheila isn’t mindless. She’s dead and hungry. And Joel isn’t a scaredy cat, he’s a concerned husband. Family truly ranks supreme in this Netflix original.

Nothing to see here. Everything is perfectly normal.
As with all dead things, though, Sheila does begin to decay. Which is why I always say, don’t fuck the dead people… even if they have an insatiable sex drive the likes of which you have never experienced. You won’t be able to keep up, and their toe may fall off mid-coitus. But, as with most weighty subjects handled within Santa Clarita Diet, the rotting flesh of mom and wife is handled with humor and some bumbling education.

It'll cure what ails ya.
On top of all that Santa Clarita Diet does really well, it leaves you wanting to learn more about this new zombie lore and it ends the season on a cliffhanger, just so you’ll have to stick around to learn more. And, lucky for us zombie enthusiasts, Netflix has just confirmed a second season. So, if you haven’t tuned in yet, do it now.

Actual blowing of chunks.
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry from laughing, and you’ll never want to eat again. But, you’ll definitely want to find a significant other that is willing to buy you a deep freeze to keep your dead in so you can make flesh smoothies.

Zombie Honey Rating: 100% Sustainable Protein