The Horror Honeys: Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, AND BLOOD!

Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, AND BLOOD!

A Revenge Honey Thanksgiving Horror List by Linnie

Oh, Thanksgiving. For those of you who don't live in the states, this is the holiday when Americans gorge themselves on factory farmed turkey and pretend that the day ISN'T about that time we faked being friends with the Native Americans before we gave them small pox and took their land. Good times. Good times. If you're reading this, odds are you probably spend holidays watching horror films. And believe it or not, there are actually a handful of Thanksgiving horror films that are worth checking out! Are they all great? Nope. But if you're looking for an excuse to avoid your family, football, or both, they more than do the trick.

ThanksKilling and ThanksKilling 3: First off, there is no ThanksKilling 2. THAT film is a movie inside a movie and the plot of the third film is about the main characters' quest to find the last copy of the second film, which is of course, set in space. SO META, GUYSES! If you're willing to turn off your brain, these films about a murderous turkey, named... Turkie... can be kind of fun. But for my money, I'd rather eat a whole pumpkin pie and pass out face first on my couch than watch either of them. Now THAT is fun.

Home Sweet Home (1981): Good? Noooo. Fun? You bet! This Thanksgiving rip-off of Halloween is about an escaped mental patient/PCP addict and his Thanksgiving-timed murder spree. This movie isn't particularly memorable nor is it any good, but as far as Thanksgiving horror films go, it's one of the better-ish ones. Bonus points for starring a supremely young Vinessa Shaw!

Kristy (Random): This is the film I vote for new Thanksgiving horror classic,! Set on a college campus where one lone scholarship student has to fight off thrill killers over Thanksgiving break, this film is poised to become an underground hit. My Thanksgiving wish this year? That Kristy comes out on DVD so I can watch it on Tofurky Day next year!

(Update: Kristy is on Netflix! HAPPY TOFURKY DAY TO ME!)

Blood Rage (1979): Nothing says "Thanksgiving" like identical twin murder! A classic 70s/80s trope that is due for a comeback, Blood Rage is all about a set of gorgeous blonde twins, one of which is a serial killer, of course. When killer twin escapes a mental hospital on Thanksgiving, things get hinky. Because of course, WHICH TWIN IS THE KILLER OH MY GOD THEY ARE IDENTICAL WHAT IS GOING ON? Here is the perfect example of a crap film that is assloads of fun. If you like your holiday horror cheesy, Blood Rage is the way to go.

Intensity (1997): A 90s TV movie based on a Dean Koontz novel, Intensity is better than it probably has a right to be. Starring Molly Parker, John C. McGinley, and Piper Laurie, the mini-series length film follows a young woman who witnesses a serial killer in the act on Thanksgiving, and then attempts to save a teenage girl he's taken hostage. Pure 90s pulp, this is the holiday horror for you if you enjoy your films on the eye-rollingly enjoyable side!

What are YOU watching this Thanksgiving?
Tell me on Twitter: @linnieloowho