The Horror Honeys: 'The Exorcist' - We’re Only Watching This Because We Have To...

'The Exorcist' - We’re Only Watching This Because We Have To...

A Dual-Honey Conversation on the pilot of The Exorcist with Bella and Brittany

BELLA: So. The Exorcist TV show... I really hope someone's mother sucks cocks in hell just to make it interesting.

BRITTANY: I could not have rolled my eyes any more during the first episode. To be honest, I haven't watched the others yet because I was so  frustrated with the "whole season" trailer. But we can probably get to that at the end.

BELLA: It was pretty boring. And it's not even that it was boring; there was just too much crammed into one pilot and none of it, it seemed, we needed to care about. I literally gave zero fucks about every character and towards the end had no idea, or interest, in what their actual role was.

This is not the possessed girl you think it is.

BRITTANY: To recap: Priest starts having weird dreams about an exorcism that (spoiler?) killed a kid in Mexico. At the same time, Geena Davis is allegedly having weird shit happening in her house: voices, things moving, though none of that is really shown to set up any kind of haunting or weirdness. She asks the Priest for help, a bird flies through his window. Priest comes over and thinks that the dad with an undefined issue is saying some non-sensical stuff that ties back to his dreams. Priest goes looking for guy in said dreams and finds him, worst fears about a demonic possession are confirmed. Priest goes back to the house to talk to Geena Davis and encounters a possessed child which, spoiler, is not the child that Geena thought was possessed.

I literally have no idea what Geena's character's name was. She's just Geena Davis.

BELLA: Yeah. It's really convoluted. And the dream sequences could be interesting, except the priest mentions it's a dream and that pulls you right out of it. Not to mention, are we supposed to think that he has some spiritual connection to the other priest he's dreaming about in Mexico? Maybe this priest is possessed. I lost Geena's story all together. Her daughter is supposed to be possessed, but then she isn't. Or we see her and there's nothing wrong. I have no clue what happened there. The back and forth between the character introductions was too much... and there was relatively little established.

Please don’t kill him, yet. He’s all we got.
BRITTANY: I agree. The dream sequences ended almost as quickly as they began once the priest in the dreams (Ben Daniels - the only good part of this show thus far) was found in what I can only assume is an asylum for fallen Catholic Priests. I imagine that they set all of this up for the entire season: what's wrong with the dad? How did the daughter become possessed, and why is it not the creepy reclusive daughter? Why is Geena Davis so quick to go to religion to help?

BELLA: I'm so glad I'm not alone in thinking that Daniels was the best thing about the show. Each scene he was in, I was paying attention too. Sadly, he wasn't on screen enough for my taste. Maybe Geena is still reeling from her experience with Beetlejuice?

BRITTANY: Hah! She forever sees the dead. I mean, the main priest guy was good to look at, but he has very little material to work with.

BELLA: Being pretty isn't going to keep me interested. And on that note, neither is filming almost the whole damn thing at an upward angle. Hey, check it out, it worked for Hitchcock... 

BRITTANY: That drove me nuts. NUTS. Almost as nuts as the obligatory homage to the original movie, from the very beginning. It felt like the whole thing was a little confused. It started out with that classic shot from the original film and seemed to be setting up the classic Exorcist story. Then BAM - just kidding - we're changing it on you! Followed by classic homage to original film again.

BELLA: Yeah. I'm hardly ever about remakes. I'm rarely about television adaptations. But, if you're hell bent on doing one, do something new and interesting. A small amount of homage goes a long way. The key word being SMALL. Maybe these creators got in over their head? But you know, exorcism stories sell. There's so much they could do. And could do better.  I want to see them break the character plots down a little bit. Give us some breathing room and make them interesting.

BRITTANY: What's interesting to me is that they chose this one. The film is famous for being pretty claustrophobic. So... you choose to expand it over 13 episodes?

BELLA: True. And not just over 13 episodes, but over what seemed like 40 million locations.  The show was EVERYWHERE. Literally.

BRITTANY: Seriously. For all that budget, you'd think they could have made a better crow. One thing I did like about the show is the focus on religion, versus the film, which, while religious, didn't really focus on the spiritual conflict. As someone who is super interested in religion (from a completely disassociated POV), something like that is intriguing.

BELLA: Off topic - I totally read that as "made a better cow." I do agree with you there. I enjoy religious conflict and the idea that spirituality and religiosity, while usually entangled, are still very different. Hopefully they play on that a little more and manage to pull of something worthwhile.
What I don't want to see is them fall victim to any beliefs rhetoric. I know it's a Catholic bashing show (which is what I call any exorcism themed media, because obviously) but, I don't want to start being preached to.

Church, the safest place to be, right?
BRITTANY: Here's the thing: I feel like they almost already played the cards. It was pretty clear from the Mexico scenes that exorcism is not condoned and will get you removed from the church or put into church prison or wherever Daniels was.

Plus, they've already established the conflict that Herrera's character has with his religion, so it almost appears that they are going to go with the internal conflict of spirituality. He's not sure if he believes, and now he feels like he's been called to a purpose with the possessed girl.

Geena Davis's belief is also in question already, since she said she believes because it's comfortable.
So... will this be more about internal struggle than a struggle with the church? I don't know.
What scares me is that preview for the future episodes after the first one. When Daniels alluded to there being demons everywhere, I'm super concerned that this show is going to turn into Constantine or something, with demons flying everywhere all the time. Demons are not a plague!!

BELLA: But, can demons become a plague? I mean. I have sacrifices at the ready.

You're right. It does appear that they are going to go the way of the internal struggle. Which I can get behind. Because the struggle is real ... ... ... Yeah.  I hate myself for that one too. 

BRITTANY: I feel like we saw that in Deathgasm and a number of other movies. <groan>

BELLA: But, anytime we start deal with religion in media, even in a fictional show, I get nervous about the alternative. 

The ending was a little... too on the nose, I think. There were a lot of questions and then BAM, demons. But... they could pull that back and run with "personal demons" to continue their display of the internal struggle.

BRITTANY: I wonder if the demons will be metaphors for the spreading evil in the world.

BELLA: I'm not at particularly interested either way, since the pilot left me feeling pretty damn meh. But it makes for an interesting conversation and kinda piques my interest a little bit. Which is good, since we have to watch it.

BRITTANY: <sigh> The acting was decent.

BELLA: There is that.

BRITTANY: (Looking for positives with such a bleak outlook on television watching this fall) The possessed child in Mexico was interesting.

BELLA: I think that was the only plot that I enjoyed.

Yeah, thats… Imma go brush my teeth.
BRITTANY: The effects, as it were. What an excellent child actor. Also, losing teeth is gross. Always.

BELLA: Everything happening in Mexico was pretty great. I mean. Not "great" ... but done really well, and forced me to watch.

BRITTANY: Right? I'd rather watch that show. Ben Daniels saves the children in Mexico!

BELLA: Maybe it'll get a spin off. OR maybe they'll continue to cram so much shit into each episode that by episode 3 it'll all just be that story. OUR HERO.

BRITTANY: I wonder how long they will take with the actual possession within the house, with the whole "demons are everywhere" thing. AND, will there be a different conclusion than in the film?

BELLA: Maybe it'll break off and be something completely different? I mean... if it goes the way of the film does that mean that Ben Daniels dies? I don't want that to happen.

BRITTANY: It would mean that, yes. Which, I mean, end the show there.

Oh! I have a question: will we see the iconic demonic moments we saw in the film? Will there be a cross-fucking? Will a head actually fully turn around and not kill the girl? It seemed to have killed the child in Mexico which left me confused.

BELLA: Yeah. But they wouldn't. You know that'll happen half way through and we'd be stuck with a bunch of bullshit for another six episodes. *runs away*

Gods, I hope so. I mean. If you're going to attempt an adaptation of The Exorcist, at the very least, you need to bring the special effects and the horrifying shit that can be done to shock the religiously affected. I mean. That should go without saying. Maybe they'll do something new.

BRITTANY: That's probably my biggest fear of this show

BELLA: Maybe there will ACTUALLY be a mother sucking cocks in hell.  I mean. That's probably for a different network. But a girl can dream.

BRITTANY: It's on FOX. Not HBO. Will they really offend the church? I think that's Skinemax.

BELLA: *sigh* no. No they won't. 

Bella's Rating: A singular desire to see Ben Daniels (cock in hell). 

In Conclusion: we are only watching this because we are forced to.

Brittany's Rating: My own head turning around would be more enjoyable than watching this show.

What do YOU think of The Exorcist?
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