The Horror Honeys: 'Urge:' One Simple Rule For Not Being a Douchebag

'Urge:' One Simple Rule For Not Being a Douchebag

A Web Exclusive Review with Revenge Honey Linnie

Urge (2016)

Picking movies to watch at random based on the presence of an actor you loved as a child almost always yields very negative results. In these days of paycheck cinema, once stalwart actors like Anthony Hopkins, Al Pacino, and Robert De Niro seem to be taking any crappy movie offered to them, as long as it will pay for their home in the Hamptons. It's gotten to the point where you really can't trust any of them anymore.

When I put on Aaron Kaufman's Urge, with Pierce Brosnan prominently dominating the poster, I expected a similar experience; one where Pierce got paid to show up for three day's worth of shooting, and then skipped merrily all the way to the bank. And I was half right. Half because Pierce wasn't remotely in the whole film, but he was in more than I expected.

Half-wrong because Urge is only 2/3 crappy, and there is a shell of a good movie buried under a shitty one that gave me PTSD flashbacks to The Loft. So is it worth watching an hour-and-a-half long movie that's only really interesting for 20 minutes?

That's up to you, kids.

I feel ya, bud. I was making the same face.
The Story: Douchebag billionaire Neil (Danny Masterson) takes a group of his entitled rich white friends on vacation to his island home, where his buddy Jason (Justin Chatwin) has been living rent-free. While at a nightclub, a mysterious man (Brosnan) offers the friends a magical new drug, Urge, but with one caveat: they can only use it one time. But, entitled rich white friends are entitled, and think the rules don't apply to them, so they keep snorting the blue gas that takes away their inhibitions. Of course, side effects follow, things get bloody, and Mysterious Man might be even more mysterious than we first thought.

Why yes, Devil Man, I WILL try your magical drug. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
When Urge began, I was immediately caught off guard by the presence of comedic actor Chris Geere (You're the Worst), and actual comedian Nick Thune. What kind of movie was I about to watch? Then, Jeff Fahey shows up in a two-minute cameo, throwing a wrench in the whole works. Is this a comedy? A horror film? The tone of the film never fully adjusts until the last twenty minutes, which is one of its more obvious problems.

Girl, we get it. You're not a Mormon vampire.
It doesn't help that the film's central mystery, which is, in fact, quite interesting, is given away in a throwaway line early on delivered by Ashley Greene (who is working overtime to shed her Twilight image). With one use, Urge removes your inhibitions and allows you to experience life without limitations. But with continued use, it begins to erase your super-ego, the part of our minds that controls morality, leaving only the id in control, or the desire to do exclusively as one pleases at all times. At first, we watch the friends shedding their inhibitions. Then, they give in to their basest desires. It was here that I lost patience with the majority of the cast, and began counting the moments until the movie ended.

I <3 you, but your presence just confounded me.
However, in the final twenty minutes, the film becomes a mixture of religious horror and apocalyptic thriller, which are two of my favorite genres. Urge turns into a violent (though points will be deducted for the use of CGI blood... that is a damn insult) and compelling piece of cinema, but one can't help but wonder where that movie was the rest of the running time? If I spend over an hour rolling my eyes, and 20 minutes fully engaged, is the film worth recommending at all?

The answer is, I genuinely don't know. I think there are elements of Urge worth seeing, and an after-credits scene (featuring Alison Lohman, for some reason) hints at a sequel. The fact that I both loathed and enjoyed Urge is something well out of the ordinary, so all I can say is... watch it if you think it sounds interesting, then please. Tell me what you thought.

XENU WARNING: Urge was produced by Danny Masterson, which means your money may inadvertently be funding Scientology. As always, I recommend that whatever you spend to watch Urge, please donate the same amount to an LGBT or cult-reprogramming charity of your choice. I gave my rental fee to the LGBT Center of Raleigh.

Revenge Honey Rating: 2 red bastards out of 5 
(Minus 1/2 a point for the CGI blood. SERIOUSLY. Stop it.)

Urge is available via iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, YouTube VOD, Vudu, & Google Play

But for real. If you watch Urge...
Let me know what you think on Twitter: @linnieloowho