The Horror Honeys: Honey Buzz ~ Eli Roth is Remaking 'Death Wish.' Cue Eye Rolls.

Honey Buzz ~ Eli Roth is Remaking 'Death Wish.' Cue Eye Rolls.

The Hollywood Reporter announced yesterday that Eli Roth just signed a deal to remake Death Wish. Rather than waste time giving this news respect it doesn't deserve, let's just list the reasons why it's positively idiotic.

1) It's become more than clear that Eli Roth is done with horror. After Knock Knock, walking away from Meg, and now Death Wish, I hope the horror community will stop defending him. He's not defending us.

2) Does Roth have ONE original idea in that giant skull of his anymore? Green Inferno... remake. Knock Knock... remake. Death Wish... remake. Producing something, i.e. throwing money at it, is not creation. Every original project that Roth signs up for, he ends up walking away from because of "creative differences." Is that because the project is actually, I don't know, creative?

3) Death Wish? Really? Who at Paramount and MGM thought this was the right time for remake of a movie where a guy goes around just... shooting people? Bruce Willis or not, revenge or not, this is a stupid idea. The original Death Wish was written as satire, and the people behind the movie version didn't understand that. Since subtlety doesn't seem to be Roth's strong suit, I highly doubt he's going to get it either. Instead, odds are 10 to 1 we're going to get another Bruce Willis paycheck film, helmed by a director who only sees a chance for 'splosions and big-budget blood.

No thanks, guys. This is a terrible idea from top to bottom, and you couldn't pay me to even pretend to be interested.

And that's all I have to say about that.
You can find me not saying more about it on Twitter: @linnieloowho