Ten years ago the age of digital consumption was rising and it was terrifying and liberating. The ability to be in constant communication was equal parts an advancement in socialization and a hinderance. The world at your fingertips feeding information to the masses and creating a culture of information, opinion, education, and trolling. There was enough there to be intrigued by and to be horrified by.
There were, and are, camps of people who think we consume too much; being attached to our digital devices separates us from being attached to our people. And, camps of people who believe the exact opposite. There are those that would/do use the internet for good - to reach out and “meet” new people and expand their personalities and horizons. And, those would/have found a place to hide behind an anonymous identity to send threats and lies the world over.
There’s no doubt that the onset of this digital culture would make for a scary story - no matter which camp you belong to. Watching it all unfold and forge a new kind of horde of digital consumerism is a feast for any horror fan’s eyes.
But, that was ten years ago.
|Wait... maybe this is really a conspiracy theory movie.|
Also, there’s science. Basic fucking biology that tells us our brains aren’t going to be taken over by our cell phones. Sure, we may get a tumor, but we’ll still have our own free will.
I can’t speak to what Cell, as a novel, does or doesn’t well - I haven’t read it. But, I can tell you that the movie just falls flat across the board. It lies relatively adjacent to some fantastic zombie movies that came before it that managed to do something different with the genre in both an elegant and masterful way.
|I love you, phone.|
|Who let these mother fucking zombies into these mother fucking woods?|
|Godsdamned mouth breathers.|
|Yes, this is exactly what I think the "king of the internet" would look like.|
|This is just too happy to be the end... Oh, right...|
Oh, and not a zombie movie but still: the hive-mind aspect was reminiscent of Slither, except without Nathan Fillion, so that’s a mega-fail.
|When are we getting that zombie movie about litter bugs?|
Also, and yes, I know, this is a zombie movie and the cause for zombies is usually pretty ridiculous, but I just want to reiterate that whole BIOLOGY thing.
RATING: 1 Samuel L. Jackson Couldn’t Even Save This Mother Fucking Movie