The Horror Honeys: Honey Buzz~ 'The Woods:' Let the Over-Selling & Back-Slapping Begin.

Honey Buzz~ 'The Woods:' Let the Over-Selling & Back-Slapping Begin.

Let's just get something out on the table here. How many movies over the last decade have been sold as the "scariest movie ever made?" Go ahead. I'll wait.

Bet you thought of at least five, right? One of them probably came out this year. And how many lived up to that ridiculous standard set by marketing departments and critics who may or may not have been paid for their opinion? Mmm-hmm. That's what I thought.

Now, let's talk about The Woods, Adam Wingard's "game-changing," "totally original" found-footage film set in the woods in which a group of kids on a camping trip encounter something evil in the trees.

The jizzing began on Twitter but a few scant hours ago, when every major horror site lost their collective minds over the trailer for The Woods, a horror teaser featuring yet ANOTHER frustratingly-paced cover of a classic rock song (please make this trend stop). Details are being held back on pretty much everything, except for the few critics who somehow already saw it in advance of its September release date, every one of which is claiming HORROR WILL NEVER BE THE SAME GUYS.

Forgive me if I'm skeptical that "one of the scariest movies ever made" (That's right... As scary as Jaws and The Exorcist and Alien) is a 2016 found footage film about people screaming in the woods.

And hey, Wingard. I saw you making fun of Civil War. Jealous much?
Anyway, yes. I'll see the movie. But am I holding my breath for it to be anything more than Lionsgate-sanctioned jumpscares in an attempt to one-up Blumhouse? Not on your life.

Are you excited about The Woods
Is it because the marketing department told you to be?
Tell me why on Twitter: @linnieloowho