The Horror Honeys: Witch Month: Darkness Falls ~ A… Nice Try?

Witch Month: Darkness Falls ~ A… Nice Try?

A Slasher Honey "Witch Month" Review with Chassity

Darkness Falls (2003)

Time to take a trip back in time, all the way back to…2003. Buffy The Vampire Slayer had ended, everyone in the cast was extremely beloved, and having totally missed the Blair Witch craze, I was on board with the many people who were waiting on something amazing to follow up with a craze of its own. Naturally, the hope was that a horror film starring a Buffy alum would do the trick. 

And was it ever a hope unfounded. In fact, it’s hard to find anything worth mentioning at all about Darkness Falls. It can best be described as completely and utterly unforgettable. To the degree that re-watching this movie has felt like actually watching it for the first time. I didn’t remember a single thing about it, and for me that’s saying a lot. I don’t ever completely forget a film once I’ve seen it. 

The only sympathetic character in this movie...
You eat those kids, Matilda. You eat 'em good.
Darkness Falls is about some awful, judgmental people who write the town weirdo Matilda off because she dares do something like be nice to children who have lost teeth, and gives out candy. This is how she gets the name the Tooth Fairy. Anyway, because she is so weird, when two kids go missing, they assume Matilda is responsible and of course, kill her without any logical semblance of evidence, only to then feel like the villains they are when the missing children inevitably return. So the film’s story focuses on the Tooth Fairy haunting the town in a very witch-like manner, exacting her revenge. 

We’ve seen this before, with Freddy Krueger, except that tiny detail that he was, you know, actually guilty. 

Poor Emma Caulfield tries her best. She really does. And she made the most of what she had to work with. The thing is, to say that it wasn’t much would be an understatement.

Here’s the main problem I have with the plot. Or, rather, what amounted to a facsimile of such. In order to put obstacles in the way of Kyle, one of the main characters who attempts to save Emma Caulfield and her kid brother, the writing sacrifices character development and realism. Nearly every single character is completely unlikable, and the film uses the plot device where one character knows everything people need to know to survive, but everyone refuses to believe them and writes them off as crazy. If you’ve seen more than, oh, three horror movies, you know exactly what I’m talking about, and how frustrating it is. Despite all the evidence that Kyle is completely correct, not to mention merely confirming the story they’ve been hearing since they were all kids, everyone treats him like a complete idiot. 

And the most annoying part of all? Apparently, cops in the town of Darkness Falls can lock people up for believing in things that said cops don’t, and for asking to speak to a friend in the hospital. 

In the early 2000s, there seemed to be this trend of slow-paced, thriller-inspired horror films that definitely look like they could have been made in the 90s, and probably should have before that kind of horror was becoming almost tired. This week’s witch movie definitely fits the bill. 

Other than that, there isn’t much more to be said. It was an interesting idea, but executed quite poorly. The way our Revenge Honey Linnie once described found footage films actually completely applies here. “Boring, boring, jump scare, boring, boring jump scare, boring, boring, boring, over.” 

This movie served a purpose at the time. It’s the kind of movie that was only worth seeing in the theaters for teenagers that just wanted a dark place to make out for a little while. 

Slasher Honey Rating: 1 awkward witch whine out of 5 

Darkness Falls is available via Netflix Streaming, iTunes, Amazon Instant Video,
YouTube VOD, Vudu, Google Play, & blu-ray/DVD

Do you feel bad for Matilda?
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