The Horror Honeys: Truly Madly Deeply: A Review. And a Tribute.

Truly Madly Deeply: A Review. And a Tribute.

A Sorrowful Goodbye with Revenge Honey Linnie

Truly Madly Deeply (1985)

No, forgive me.
If you no longer live,
if you, beloved, my love,
if you have died,
all the leaves will fall in my breast,
it will rain on my soul night and day,
the snow will burn my heart,
I shall walk with frost and fire and death and snow,
my feet will want to march to where you are sleeping, but
I shall go on living…

Generally, when a beloved actor passes away, the Horror Honeys pen some sort of tribute to the person, as our way of saying goodbye to an artist who has touched our lives in one way or another. But when it came to Alan Rickman, I don't think anyone knew what to say. It didn't seem real. It was too soon. It was too much. Time passed, and still, no one said anything, because, at least in my case, perhaps if we didn't say anything, it wouldn't become truth. Saying goodbye was just too damn hard. To some, Alan Rickman was an actor. A beloved actor yes, but an actor, and nothing more.

To me, he was a man who taught me about love. About what it meant to love fearfully, and forcefully, and frightfully. To love with all of your heart, and all of your soul. He taught me about love, because the first film I saw him in was Anthony Minghella's ghostly love story, Truly Madly Deeply, and while I came to appreciate his capacity to illicit fear and wonder and terror in later years, I would never stop seeing him as Jamie, a man who was part of a love so passionate, even death couldn't destroy it.

When I was a child, my mother would put me down to take naps while she watched movies that were probably a little too grown up for me. But did I sleep? No I did not. I watched. One such movie was Truly Madly Deeply, in which Jamie (Rickman) passes away, and his girlfriend Nina (Juliet Stevenson) misses him so desperately, she can't even imagine moving on with her life. So Jamie comes back, at first, it seems, to renew their love and stay with Nina forever. But the truth is, he comes back (with multiple ghostly friends in tow) to help Nina say goodbye properly, so she can tell Jamie all the things she never was able to, and then to finally see how her future and past can coexist without letting go of her memories.

I had been afraid to watch Truly since Rickman's death, mostly because as resident Cotton Candy Honey, I knew it would render me a sobbing, ruined mess. And it did. Oh, but it did. But what it also did for me was give me the chance to mourn a man who had meant more to me than some relatives, a man who had shaped my tastes, and my appreciation of art and culture, more than actual teachers. Losing an actor who has been a part of your life longer than you even have cognizant memories can feel like losing a loved one, and even if the performer doesn't know how you felt about them, you know. And that's what matters.

Watching Truly Madly Deeply gave me the opportunity to, at last, cry for the loss of Alan Rickman. To laugh, to smile, and more importantly, to remember being four-years-old, and hearing Neruda for the first time, hearing the cello for the first time, hearing a voice for the first time, a voice that will always remind me how lucky I was to live in a world that Alan Rickman was a part of.

And to finally say goodbye.

Goodbye, sweet man. This Honey shall never forget you <3
Truly Madly Deeply is incredibly difficult to find on DVD. So just this once,
I recommend you watch it any way you can.