The Horror Honeys: THE X-FILES Recap: Season 10, Ep. 3 ~ “Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster”

THE X-FILES Recap: Season 10, Ep. 3 ~ “Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster”

A Horror TV Honey Recap with Jennica

After two back-to-back episodes loaded with overwhelming feels, our heavy hearts got a much needed break with Season 10, Episode 3. With a title obviously inspired by the golden age Universal films, “Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster” reawakens a childlike wonderment of fantasy and science fiction as we join Mulder on a quest for self-discovery. As children, we all want to believe that monsters and other mythical creatures exist. But with age comes skepticism and our focus is turned toward actually meeting a monster for the sake of evidence rather than maintaining a simple desire to believe, a sort of distant relative to having blind faith. Thus, in all its quirky humor and mind-boggling storytelling, last week’s episode dares to answer the question, “At what point in our lives should we stop believing in monsters?”

The episode opens with a couple of paint-huffing hippies in the woods who witness an attack by a were… thing. They hear rustling of leaves followed by screams and they were like “Dude!” When the creature spots them, it begins to run toward these dudes but they were like “No way, dude,” and they jump out of the way. The scaly were-monster dude takes off through the trees out of sight, leaving the hippy stoner dudes to tend to two nearly dead dudes. Bogus.

Once again damaging an I Want to Believe poster, a mopey Mulder complains that all the reports of monsters and urban legends continue to turn out to be nothing more than science fiction. He wants to go on believing that a real creature is out in the world somewhere but he worries that he has wasted his life acting foolish. Maybe it’s time that he ends his search for the truth and gets a “real job.” When opportunity—or rather Scully—knocks at his door with a case of two dudes who reported an attack by a giant horned lizard, Mulder shields his youthful glee with disbelief.

We're with you, Mulder.
Upon examining the victims, it is discovered that the bite marks on their necks are from human teeth, implying that this lizard thing is part human: a were-monster. And once Mulder gets a firsthand account of the lizard man’s transformation from a motel peeping Tom, Mulder transforms into a wide-eyed child. He bursts into Scully’s motel room as if he just had a horrible nightmare, arms flailing and crying “Monster!” Reluctant to believe Mulder’s tall tale, Scully is nevertheless relieved to have the conspiracy-obsessed, monster-chasing Mulder back. And so are we.

However, much to Mulder’s surprise (and certainly to mine), this is not your average were-monster situation. This human (The ever adorable and hilarious Rhys Darby) who goes by the alias “Guy Mann” is not actually a human first and lizard second but rather the exact opposite. Mulder meets Guy in a cemetery where he shares his story. That night in the woods with the hippy dudes, lizard Guy was frolicking through the trees when a man attacked him, biting his neck. The next morning, the giant lizard turned into a boring middle-aged guy. Each night, he became his slimy green self again. But every day, his alarm sounded as he became human again, he went to work a dead-end job at a smartphone store, stuffed his face with fast food, and settled into bed to watch hours of porn. Guy is cursed with living the clockwork orange life that makes him—and really most humans—want to hide from another day of the grind.

Who else needs a drink?
Ironically, the flesh-eating beast who cursed Guy is none other than the local Animal Control officer. Scully is too proud to prove to Mulder that the real monster is just another hoax, just another serial killer. But Mulder still holds onto the hope that this time he has really found a monster. He rushes off to the woods where he is disappointed to find Guy still in human form. Just as he prepares to accept that there are not any real monsters, he cries out to Guy “I want to believe!” Now shaking the hand of the man that Mulder thinks made a fool of him for the last time in his career, Mulder looks down to see that the hand grasping his has turned green with claws. Mulder has spent his entire career wanting to believe and now he has been given a reason. 
Don't stop believin'

Will Mulder find reasons to believe in other mythical creatures? Is Gillian Anderson a were-redhead? Will Guy Mann start doing GEICO commercials (please)?

Best. Ever.