The Horror Honeys: Live Tweet Love Lessons: It Should NEVER Smell Like Thai Food...

Live Tweet Love Lessons: It Should NEVER Smell Like Thai Food...

Horror Honeys Advice on Love & Sex via Their Famous Live Tweets!

'Zombie love' by Berkozturk
Okay, fine: the Horror Honeys may not be known as the "Queens of Romance." But if you think we don't know our shit when it comes to love, sex, and relationships (three things which are not dependent on one another to co-exist), you clearly haven't been paying attention. All one has to do is look to the Horror Honeys live tweets to see that we are ladies who know our shit when it comes to flowers and candles and... stuff. Therefore, to celebrate that auspicious holiday known as "Valentine's Day," we have complied a list of our best advice on love and sex, inspired by the films we watch for your amusement. Because while incest and monster sex might not necessarily be romantic, fuck if you can't learn a thing or two about how NOT to get your freak on.

Stop slapping your boyfriend! I mean son! I mean boyfriend! Sonfriend? #Sleepwalkers ~Linnie

A date at an old graveyard? #horrorhoneyapproved #Sleepwalkers ~Linnie

Oh, BTW... The whole subplot is Pizza Guy trying to locate the chick who gave him head last night. 
#RiseoftheAnimals ~Linnie

"I would like you to be a sacrifice." 

Oh shit... are we supposed to ASK?! I've been doing it wrong. #ScoobyDoo ~Bella

No. Maggots. In. The. Vagina. #Contracted ~Bella

"Call me in the night if you need anything. ANYTHING. I mean anything." That doesn't sound like a proposition.  #SalemsLot ~Suzanne

"It's supposed to make it feel good for the girl" - Means it's going to feel like nothing. FYI #JennifersBody ~Kat

"It smells like Thai Food in here...were you guys FUCKING?" Uhhhhh you might want to get that checked out #JennifersBody ~Kat

"Daisy Mae, let's make us a baby doggy-style." Oh YOU. #GraveyardShift ~Kat

"Wouldn't mind his boots restin' under my bed." "One more pair of boots & you're gonna have to open a boot shop." SICK BURN #GraveyardShift ~Kat

#HiddlestonHiney ~Katie

I want to be in this car so badly, chasing down Kurt Russell. Girls just wanna have fun, amirite?! #DeathProof ~Katie

Fifteen minutes in and I kind of want to punch this guy in the dick. #Creep ~Jennica

Pyramid Head... it's probably super wrong that I find him so sexy. #SilentHill ~Kat


Um. Meow to the snappy suit and gangster speak. #REEFERMADNESS ~Jen

Mary and Jimmy sitting in a tree. While I barf my guts out fiddle dee dee. #REEFERMADNESS ~Kat

Who needs to work out when you're running erotic marathons each night? #AmericanPsycho ~Jennica

Why is it the guys in speedos are always the ones with the least to be proud of?  #seriously #Creepshow2 ~Linnie

Oh the bliss to be the greatest passion in someone's life. #BagOfBones ~Kat

"Getting frisky on the couch" = "Ringing the taxidermy moose's bell." That's weird. #BagOfBones ~Kat

Stay away from the town slut! I, that's what I mean. #BagOfBones ~Kat

Ok, so it's eternal boners with dead chicks... but hey, details... #BagOfBones #deadgirlsdoitbetter ~Kat 

They were mud fucking. That is similar to mud wrestling, but with actual penetration. #TFTCRitual ~Bella

WTF is that sound supposed to be? It better not be sex. It sounds like a toy duck #Fascination

I don't understand what they're doing to her here... I'm guessing they're drinking her blood? Otherwise it's hickies. #Fascination ~Kat

Liven up any party by dancing crazily with every woman in the room. THROAT PUNCH #Fascination ~Kat

I gotta say, holding a bloody scythe while wearing a cape with one breast exposed is really goddamn sexy #Fascination ~Kat

If you find yourself awkwardly fondling your wife in front of a naked stranger? You must be in a French film. #Fascination ~Kat

Using Shakespeare to explain away accidental incest? Why the fuck not. #TromeoandJuliet ~Kat

Having a heavy flow day? Troma Lite's tampons to the rescue! #TromeoandJuliet ~Kat

Calling your lover from the toilet - 90's style... Do you remember when phone cords were that long??#TromeoandJuliet #whatsthatnoise ~Kat

"Goodnight husband brother!" "Goodnight wife sister! Pray for no two headed offspring tonight!" #PeopleUndertheStairs ~Linnie

If you hear a man use the phrase, "You're the only woman I've ever been faithful to," time to run. #SheDevil ~Linnie

Death by Alien tentacle bj? SRSLY? #Species2 ~Jen

So. Much. Tentacle. Action. And lightning. #Species2 ~Jen

Welcome to the Love Boat, baby. Tonight's special: Boyz 2 Men and Hentai. #Species2 ~Jen

The sexual quarantine is over OH NOES! The alien will fuck it's way across America! Like my Uni roommate!  #Species2 ~Jen

I'm sorry, dreaming about spiders all over my body does not make my nipples hard. Awkward. #TFTCRitual ~Bella

My what a BIG GUN you have, Former Governor Ventura. *bats eyelashes *  #Predator ~Jen

ALWAYS double-check under your camper for a revenge-hungry Bride you done wrong. Always. #KillBillVol2 ~Katie

Happy Valentine's Day from The Horror Honeys!