The Horror Honeys: HSM ~ Turn It Off! Top 5 TV Monsters

HSM ~ Turn It Off! Top 5 TV Monsters

A Honey Switch Month Horror TV Honey Top 5 List by Jennica

As Honey Switch Month comes to a close and we each return to our designated subgenres, one of us will remain tentacles-deep in new territory. In case that was too subtle a hint, yours ghouly will be tucking away the role of Monster Honey and vegging on the couch to fill in as the Horror TV Honey... for now. While my monster movies will be dearly missed, I find comfort in the creatures lurking on my television screen. To kick off this transition, I have bid RAWR! (Translation: "farewell" or "see you later") to the monster movie subgenre and I have greeted horror television by listing my top five TV monsters. Until we meet again, monsters...



1) The Peacock Family (The X-Files)

When I was a small child, I would stay up late and watch The X-Files with my father every week. We would even whistle the theme song together. It has been years since I have revisited the series and my memories of most episodes have faded. But there is one episode that has haunted me since it first aired in 1996, the traumatic opening scene playing over and over in my mind. The episode "Home" was the first of The X-Files series to ever be preceded by a viewer discretion warning and given its lasting effect on viewers such as myself, it is with good reason that the Peacock family made it to the top of this list.

Boys who are raised well will want to give the world to their mothers. And in the Peacock family, the world means babies. But when you sons are deformed inbreds, the ladies are not exactly lining up around the block for a date. So, the only way to keep the one-branch family tree going strong is to climb into bed with mama. You could say that this redneck torture family is a bit clannish and perhaps they take the natural instinct to pass along their genes a little too seriously. But they won't stop at anything to ensure that another life is created... even if it means taking the lives of others.

C'mon, ladies. Any takers?
The Peacock boys might not have a proper education or any awareness of hygiene, but they are well-trained killers. Rarely leaving their secluded home, the boys have a self-installed alarm system consisting of lethal boob-traps that would make even Macauley Culkin flinch. When the town authority fears disturbing the deeply disturbed, agents Mulder and Scully are the only two left to rock the boat in a town built on minding one's own business. Inside the Peacock home, some things cannot be unlearned.

2) The Crypt Keeper (Tales From the Crypt)

I'll be back... from the dead.
Like The X-Files, Tales From the Crypt was yet another adult horror TV series that I was permitted to watch at a very young age. The show gave us seven years of ghouls, voodoo, and unsettling deformities but the one monster to make the cut on this list  is the cult classic show's host with the most... decay.

Voiced by John Kassir, the Crypt Keeper had a charm about him that was inviting to viewers of all ages. He might have been murderous at times, but with his snappy word play and piercing high-pitched cackle, he taught us to laugh at the darker moments in life and death. Not to mention the Crypt Keeper was a sharp fashionista and had a slew of relevant celebrity friends dropping by his haunted abode such as action star Arnold Schwarzenegger. And all adult content aside, the Crypt Keeper told the best deadtime stories.

3) Maryann Forrester (True Blood)

During the seven-season run of the popular horror drama True Blood, Trubies were introduced to several supernatural creatures, some being regulars in the horror genre and others unheard of. But the one to triumph over all of them and to earn a place on this list at #3 is the collector of supernatural creatures, Maryann Forrester. First appearing in the Season 1 episode "I Don't Wanna Know" and becoming enemy number one in Bon Temps in the following season, Maryann proved to be the life--and death-- of the party.

Many fans may argue that Russell Edgington in Season 3 is superious with his ruthless brutality and better grasp on snark, but he is still merely a vampire. And by this point in the series, we've already seen most of what the vamps can do. We know the rules. However, Maryann is something new and her rules are that she does not have any rules.

Maryann is not a vampire or shapeshifter, she is a Maenad, a bride of the original party animal Dionysus. Or so she believes. Really, she's just a psychotic clinging to an ancient religion... like many religious radicals. Maryann is willing to sacrifice every supernatural creature in existence for her god and hell hath no fury like this bridezilla. Unlike many evil forces, Maryann does have a good side. She is nurturing, forgiving (usually), and she always shares her stash. But once you have served your purpose, her claws come out.

Lord, bring me a pizza!

4) Weeping Angels (Doctor Who)

If you have ever wandered through an art museum and had an eerie sensation as if the eyes of a portrait or statue were following you, there is a chance that you were right. First appearing in the 2007 Doctor Who episode "Blink" starring David Tennant, the Weeping Angels are always watching over their victims.
Anyone fancy a staring contest?

No one knows for certain where the Weeping Angels came from but they are believed to be as old as the universe itself. With their backs turned, victims allow these angels to roam free, inching closer and closer and gradually transforming into sinister fanged beings. The key to survival is staring these statues in the face as they will remain frozen in stone. And whatever you do, do not ever blink. The Weeping Angels do not appear to take you to Heaven; they appear to take you to another time, forcing you to leave behind the life you have always known.

5) Society (The Twilight Zone)

The Twilight Zone gave us many stories of monsters, aliens, and the dark arts but the universal message throughout the series was that the most dangerous monster of all was society.

For the greater good. 
Episodes such as "Eye of the Beholder" and "Number 12 Looks Just Like You" focused on the concerns surrounding conformity and the ways in which humans tend to dictate beauty standards, especially for women. Such stories show us how free thinkers are often shunned by society and we are reminded that we are programmed to believe that we are only as good as our looks. Meanwhile, other episodes such as the classics "The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street" and "The Shelter" address the mass hysteria caused by nonconformity. In horror and science fiction, the monster is typically feared because it is unusual and unpredictable. When one person strays from a group, man creates a monster in the mind.

What's crawling out of your TV?