The Horror Honeys: May 2015

Supernatural Sunday Jam - 'Howl'

Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack
My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallow'd ground
Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins
I want to find you tear out all your tenderness

Florence Welch (of Florence and the Machine) is another patron saint of the Horror Honeys, and with good reason. She's fierce, she's gorgeous, and she can make horror look glamorous. Personally, one of my favorite things about Florence is that she has admitted that as a child, she was terrified of monsters (werewolves, and zombies, and vampires, OH MY!). So to overcome those still prevalent fears as an adult, she has taken to writing songs about the creatures that scare her, including werewolves, as she does in "Howl." Thus, not only is she a babass singer and lyricist, but her music is totally #horrorhoneyapproved. ~RH

There's a Fire Over At the Frankenstein Place

A Monster Honey Classic Review by Jennica

Frankenstein (1931)

"It's alive. It's alive... it's alive, it's moving, it's alive it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!" Sequels, remakes, and reimaginings of Frankenstein have been alive and well since the birth of Universal's 1931 film. The classic monster movie was not the original film adaptation of Mary Shelley's novel, preceded by The Fate of Frankenstein (1826), Edison Studios' Frankenstein (1910), Life Without Soul (1915), and The Monster of Frankenstein (1920); however, it has remained the blueprint for all modern-day versions of the story. Plenty of classic monsters from the golden age of cinema have evolved into unique tales of terror that continue to project our worldly anxieties onto the silver screen. But despite a few scattered exceptions, most rehatched tales of Frankenstein have failed to hold a torch to Universal's iconic motion picture.

The Plot: A former university scientist gone mad robs graves to gather body parts for his latest experiment: creating human life from his laboratory. However, when his bumbling assistant retrieves the brain of a criminal to complete the process, the long-anticipated invention turns out to be a violent monster, or so we're led to believe.

More Black Smoke Than LOST...

A Supernatural Honey Review by Suzanne

After (2012)

Trying to get back on track after an exhausting, but seriously fun trip to Seattle for Crypticon has been nothing short of an epic fail. Jet lag and panic attacks have kept me from being even a little productive. This week I’m pulling from a pile of mediocre films I watched two weeks ago because, lazy.

Freddie and Ana are the only two passengers on a bus, both returning home after time away. They’re strangers, although they live in the same town and have since they were kids. Freddie is an artist and tries to strike up a conversation with Ana, a nurse, who is not entirely receptive. Suddenly, the bus is struck. 

Ana wakes in her bed. Was the bus incident a dream? She goes to work at the local hospital and realizes she is the only one there. As she drives home, she notices the streets are deserted and houses are dark, but cars are in driveways and porch lights are on. She walks the streets, looking for any sign of life and runs into Freddie. With a little more exploration, they realize they are the only two left in their small town.

Spooky Kid Saturday Jam ~ 'Come Little Children'

Come little children, I'll take thee away
Into a land of enchantment
Come little children
The times come to play
Here in my garden of magic

If Practical Magic was the witch movie that taught budding Honeys about sisterhood, Hocus Pocus was the witch movie that taught us about strangling our sisters and how to cast spells involving virgins. Personally, Hocus Pocus was one of those movies I watched ad nauseum (mostly because I was convinced Bette Midler was my real mother), and it's still the film I use to kick off Halloween every year. Of all the musical moments in the movie, one of my favorites has always been, "Come Little Children," the song Sarah Sanderson uses as her spell for trapping children. The most amazing thing about this song, though? There are three extra versus floating around the internet and NO ONE knows who is responsible for them. Some say the song used in Hocus Pocus is based on a poem by Edgar Allen Poe, but no one has been able to definitively prove that. The man who wrote the incantations used Hocus Pocus is Brock Walsh, and he is credited with "Come Little Children," but he doesn't know anything about the additional verses. While we may never know who is really responsible for "Sarah's Song," one thing is for certain... It's still spellbinding. ~RH

Love is a Monster...

A Supernatural Honey Second Chance Review by Suzanne

Spring (2014)

Last week I reviewed Resolution, a film by Justin Benson and Aaron Moorehead, to prepare myself for their second feature length film. The end result of that review was not positive and made me a bit hesitant going into their followup feature, Spring

Lou Taylor Pucci stars as Evan, who, after the death of his mother, loses his job and has a serious run in with the law after a fight. With no family and losers for friends, he attempts to escape his problems by flying to Italy, something he had planned to do with his dad before his untimely death. Once there, Evan realizes the friends he’s making aren’t all that different than the ones he left behind. Then he meets Louise (Nadia Hilker). Louise is beautiful, smart and utterly captivating, but she’s a lot more than that.

Sci-Friday Jam ~ 'Sway'

I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now
When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more

One of my favorite unsung sci-fi movies in history is Alex Proyas' Dark City. From the director of The Crow, Dark City is one of the best combinations of noir, science-fiction, and futuristic pulp I have seen since Blade Runner, filled to the brim with murder, shady characters, and meddling studios that thought the audience needed unnecessary expository narration to help them understand the movie (seriously... Dark City is Blade Runner's kid brother). Playing with themes of alternate theories of creation, memory, and control, Proyas' true vision for the film was restored in 2008 Director's Cut, and that is the version of the film you need to see immediately.

Dark City was also one of the films that introduced to me the gloriousness of Jennifer Connelly, and while it's clear immediately that her lounge singer Emma isn't the one doing the singing (that's Anita Kelsey), Emma quickly became one of my favorite noir-style femme fatales. And Anita Kelsey's rendition of jazz standard "Sway" is an absolute must-add to any playlist! So go. Now...

I'll be here waiting... ~RH

Friday Favorites ~ Horror High Schools

School's out forever... especially when you go to a horror high school. Horror films set in high schools are some of the best because high school is one of the few shared experiences almost all of us have. Whether you were a jock, a nerd, or a totally invisible, you likely have at least one memory from high school that could be spun into a horror film. So this week, the Honeys have picked their favorite "horror high" memories... er... movies to share with you!

What is YOUR favorite high school horror film? Let us know on Twitter, using #horrorhigh!


A Sci-Fi Honey New Release Review by Katie

Infini (2015)

Here’s some advice for any future inhabitants of Earth who are tasked with going on a search-and-rescue mission in deep space: don’t. Just don’t. If sci-fi/horror has taught us anything, it is that this setup is always perilous – and often deadly – for all involved. Unfortunately for the characters at the heart of director Shane Abbess’ Aussie sci/horror Infini, these kinds of hazardous jobs are the only ones that really pay in the future, forcing lots of desperate people to either mine for resources on remote space outposts, or rescue said miners who are in peril. Neither occupation is ideal, but both serve as a pretext for a whole lot of time-jumping space travel in the bumpy journey through Infini.

Zombie unReality: Survival Street Games & Virtual Reality

A Zombie Honey Gaming Examination by Bella

If you close your eyes and imagine a post-apocalyptic world where you are a hardened survivor, fending off the undead with your trusted machete, Michelle, at every turn and generally being a lone badass, well, I want to hang out with you to compare survival plans - and maybe to rename your machete.

My sweet machete, how do I love thee? Let me slash the ways. 
Sometimes these imaginary escapes, while hardly calming, are exactly what the doctor ordered just to keep you interested in the sub-genre you love. Other times they don’t have to be so imaginary. 

Back in 2008 a zombie street-chase game - 2.8 Hours Later - was created by Slingshot, a UK based street game company, that put you right in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. While the idea piqued my interest, that’s as far as I ever got with it. Not just because I don’t live anywhere across the pond, but also because my ability to suspend my disbelief is only so refined. 

Honey Buzz ~ All the 'Independence Day 2' News!

Is this the real poster? Nope.
But it's pretty as fuck.
Over the last few days, we have been treated to a flux of news regarding Rolland Emmerich's now-filming sequel, Independence Day 2. So what do we know so far?

A plot, some casting, and that Jeff Goldblum is still fine as fuck, for starters...

Hardcover Honey's Haunted Bookclub ~ 'We Are All Completely Fine'

Hardcover Honey Jocelyn's Book of the Week

We Are All Completely Fine ~ Daryl Gregory

How would you feel if I just dropped you into the middle of a review? No lead-up, no cute little intro, just BOOM... you’re midway through learning about these characters?  Would you like it? Hate it?

Make that decision now, because if you’re planning to read this week’s slim novel “We Are All Completely Fine," that’s the feeling you’re in for.  

We are thrown into a therapy group right away – introduced quickly to Harrison Harrison, the once-upon-a-time “Boy Hero of Dunnsmouth," “The Monster Detective." What is Dunnsmouth, you ask? Well, it seems to be a town he lived in once where things went really super-duper horribly wrong, but you’re going to need to do some reading between the lines on that. Harrison has just joined Dr. Jan Sayer’s group counseling session along with five other very mysterious people, including the middle-aged mom Barbara, old-guy-in-a-wheelchair Stan, twitchy young guy Martin, who never takes off his sunglasses, and Greta, a young girl who stays fully covered up from wrist to ankle. It’s unclear who is narrating as the narrator uses the term “we” frequently, but Harrison seems to be the putative hero of the book.

Honey Buzz ~ 'Mr. Ripley' is Coming to Television!

Is TV ready for Tom Ripley? We're about to find out, when Patricia Highsmith's sophisticated psychopath is brought to either a premium network or a streaming service in series form!

Honey Buzz ~ The Walking Deceased Trailer

Zombie Honey Buzz by Bella

The Walking What Now?

I’m a fan of parodies. I am. Those parodies are usually bizarre porno parodies that make me laugh maniacally and question my life choices. But I’m still a fan. That being said, there was a Walking Dead parody released on March 20, 2015 by the name of The Walking Deceased. I recently watched the trailer and I did actually laugh out loud… TWICE.

Honey Buzz ~ Trailer for Area 51

I feel like I should preface all new movie news with a disclaimer. For Area 51, yes, we get a film about Area 51, but we also get a found footage nightmare about some entitled pieces of shit who have no qualms about "sneaking" into a government controlled military establishment in search of "answers" because they deserve to know the truth about aliens and shit. Area 51 was completed in 2009, but is finally being released... Conspiracy theorists, get ready to riddle out why it's been sitting on a dusty shelf for so long.

As if there weren't enough warning signs on the poster already.

“That 11-inch Dong Has My Luggage Tags On It!”

A Revenge Honey Vintage Review by Linnie

Die, Mommie, Die! (2003)

Revenge! Murder! LSD! Zombies! Hymen-busting! While not a horror movie in any traditional sense of the genre, Charles Busch’s Die, Mommie, Die! is an instant camp classic worthy of inclusion on any revenge-lovers list. Adapted from his stage show of the same name, Mommie tells the sordid tale of ex-pop star Angela Arden (played by Busch in gorgeous drag) and the lengths to which she will go to rid herself of her sleazy studio executive husband (Phillip Baker Hall.)

These Beauties Have a Killer Appetite...

A Revenge Honey Swooning Review by Linnie

The Ladies of the House (2014)

It isn't often that your Revenge Honey gets to watch a film she simply can't stop talking about. Usually, the extent of my film experience involves ranting and raving about whatever dumpster fire I've been forced to endure thanks to the lack of quality revenge films released at any given time. But recently I had the pleasure watching John Stuart Wildman and Justina Walford's The Ladies of the House, and within ten minutes of hitting play, we already have a front runner for my favorite revenge movie of 2015.

The Story
: Three buddies, Jacob, Derek, and Kai, go to a strip/burlesque club to celebrate Kai's birthday. But when douchebag Derek decides that being a stripper automatically equals being a whore and insists the men follow performer Ginger home, the night takes a turn for the violent. After a terrible "accident," the men try to run from the house before Ginger's roommates return from the club. However, unbeknownst to the fellas, these women aren't just work buddies, or roommates; they're a family, and when you fuck with the family, you are in for a world of hurt.

Horror TV Tuesday Jam ~ 'Seven Wonders'

But if our paths never cross
Well you know I'm sorry but
If I live to see the seven wonders
I'll make a path to the rainbow's end
I'll never live to match the beauty again
The rainbow's end

Ahhh, American Horror Story. Do you remember a time when it was consistently amazing? Yeah, it's getting more difficult for me too. Asylum was mostly terrible, I stopped watching Freak Show, and Coven ruined the whole works with a terrible ending. But the one thing I will cling to when I try to remember what I liked about Coven were the cameos from the Wiccan wonder that is Stevie Nicks. Her first appearance made total sense, and her second was absolutely random filler made up of her floating around the school and singing Fleetwood Mac's 1987 track, "Seven Wonders." But, as long as Stevie is singing, I am willing to overlook Ryan Murphy's metaphor sledgehammer nonsense to revisit... just those two scenes. Nothing else. #sorrynotsorry

Here is the original video for "Seven Wonders" instead. ~RH

Hemlock Grove ~ Series Review

A Horror TV Honey Series Review by Lisa

Way back in 2012, author Brian McGreevy was the talk of the literary world. His debut novel, 'Hemlock Grove' hadn't even hit the bookshelves and it was already being made into a television show for Netflix with a pretty big horror name attached to it. Eli Roth, still riding high on the Hostel franchise and being everyone's favorite baseball bat wielding anti-hero, was very vocal about his excitement to be a part of this upcoming show. Heralded as "an exhilarating reinvention of the gothic novel", 'Hemlock Grove' is a unique mix of classic horror creatures, various religions and cultures and some wacky scientist stuff. Vampires, or Umpirs as they're known in 'Hemlock Grove', werewolves, eccentric characters for miles, mysteries upon mysteries and a giant white tower where an innocuous looking man plays with nature and science as though he is God; this is what 'Hemlock Grove' is made of. Though the book was uneven and not many of the characters were particularly likable, the prospect of Roth taking on all of these elements and turning it into a series sounded promising.

Profile of a Killer - Attention is power

A Head Honey Indie Review by Kat

Profile of a Killer (2012)

After months of being WAY behind on my own sub-genre work, my apologies go first and foremost to the production team behind Profile of a Killer who have been sending me gentle reminders about their film for literally MONTHS. It's time for this True Crime Honey to get her shit together.

The men said, “This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’” 1 Samuel 24

The premise: A retired FBI agent is pulled from his family to assist in one last case. The H-61 killer is on what appears to be the beginnings of a murderous spree in the Northern Mid-West. Hunter becomes the hunted in a deadly game where the tables are turned on the profiler who must use all of his skill and experience to survive.

What's "familiar":

The veteran - Profile spends quite a bit of time building up the FBI profiler, Saul (Gabriele Angiere). Showing the audience how important, revered and sought after he is, even in retirement. Now, why I say this is "familiar" is because it's a set up that happens with nearly every crime-based film/TV show. True Crime is (more often than not) a battle of wits - where killer and investigator go head to head without ever meeting.  Racing against the clock to rescue a victim, it's the expertise of the "specialist" that saves the day, sometimes by accident, sometimes by good old fashioned police work. *manly shoulder punch*

Five Unexpected TV Slasher Tributes

A Slasher Honey Top 5 by Chassity

Ghostface costumes, 90s teenagers sitting around the fire telling stories based off of actual horror movies. Despite the less-than-positive reputation that horror movies and horror fans supposedly have, other genres and mediums certainly seem to enjoy venturing into the horror world. For someone like me, there is nothing more exciting than when your favorite TV shows honor the slashers you love most. 

I thought it was time to share some of my favorite slasher episodes of great TV shows with all of you, so here they are in no particular order!

Blu-ray and DVD Releases for May 26, 2015!

Well, the Honeys are officially home from the madness of Crypticon and what could be worse for our wallets than an awesome week of blu-ray and DVD releases. Along with some restorations worth getting excited about, a few new favorites are finally getting wide releases. So sell what needs selling and boil the rest... it's time to buy some new movies!

Supernatural Sunday Jam - 'Voodoo Thing'

Like a heart held close to the edge of a knife
One kiss from her lips turn my blood turn to ice
I tried to run by the light of the moon
I said I'll never be back, but I spoke too soon

Well, she made me dance and she made me scream
Did she give me some of that voodoo thing?
The voodoo thing, ooh, my voodoo thing

Growing up on the West Coast and with a father who insisted on an early blues education, a name that came up a little later in my childhood was Colin James: he even lived in our neighborhood for a few years, which was kind of rad. Voodoo Thing was one of my favorite tunes to dance to like a crazy person when it came out in the late 80s. But really, can you blame me? Voodoo Thing was my first introduction to reading everything I could get my hands on about voodoo culture and magic so I could find out how to get my "Voodoo Thing" on... ~HH

This Nightcrawler is No Mutant...

A Supernatural Honey New Release Review by Suzanne

Nightcrawler (2014)

I’ve had a lot of opportunities to see movies in advance of their release the last few months: some of them good, some bad, and others downright horrible. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was walking into with Nightcrawler. The trailers made it seem as though it was a genre film, but it’s SO much more than that. This film is a drama, wrapped in psychological thriller, dipped in action, with a dash of comedy and I was happily full after consuming every morsel of it. It was delicious! 

OK, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Louis Bloom (Gyllenhaal) is a petty thief always on the lookout for his next payday. Driven and determined to be successful at something, he discovers that crime journalism in L.A. can land a nice payday, with the right piece of film. Aided and encouraged by local TV news programmer Nina Romina (Rene Russo), Lou tests the limits of his morality to come out on top.

Saturday Morning Horror Cartoon ~ 'When Genevieve Ruled the World'

"It is true, nonetheless, that the world was once ruled with the iron fist of a three-and-half-year-old girl."

Without a doubt, Katy Towell has her share of fans at the Horror Honeys. We've featured her cartoons here before, and I was lucky enough to interview her not so long ago! This week's horror cartoon is another entry in her "Childrin R Skary" series, and it proves what we all already knew...

Little girls are just tiny dictators waiting for an excuse to take over the world.

Friday Favorites ~ The Horror Hall of Shame

Listen, just because you love horror movies, doesn't mean you're going to be able to see every single one ever made. Sometimes, a particular movie just keeps getting moved down your "to watch" list for no specific reason. Other times, you just have no particular interest in a movie... perhaps because you don't find the content scary, or maybe because actually find it TOO scary. But whatever the reason, that ONE movie lands you squarely in the Horror Hall of Shame: a place where you go because you just haven't see that one movie other people won't shut the fuck up about.

Today, the Honeys bravely step forward and admit the movies that have earned them a place in the HHofS. Is there a movie that earns you a ticket in to the Hall of Shame? Let us know on Twitter, using #HorrorHallofShame!


A Sci-Fi Honey New Release Review

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

It’s been a Mad May for this Sci-Fi Honey: gearing up for the release of the fourth installment of George Miller’s Mad Max series, last Sci-Friday’s review was a three-part retrospective on the original Mel Gibson-starring Mad Max (1979), Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981), and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985). While the series as a whole has had its ups and downs, all three films are much-beloved fixtures in the canon of action cinema, entertaining audiences for over three decades. This past weekend, a new generation of filmgoers experienced Mad Max: Fury Road, Miller’s latest addition to the ongoing saga of Max Rockatansky to hit the big screen. Now in his seventies, Miller was up against some difficult odds: can an aging filmmaker create a sequel to a treasured cult classic thirty years after the previous installment – with a different actor in the titular lead role – and still produce a film that is faithful to the spirit of the overall series while remaining relevant to the landscape of modern cinema?

Undead Thursday Jam - 'Zombie'

Should you plan to travel way down South
Woman to woman, I gotta tell ya about
A curse that rose out of the deep, green swamp
It hollers "murder," and then it makes you jump
And then it says...
Do the zombie!

Nellie McKay is one of my favorite kind of musicians: the one you don't see coming from a mile away. She is cute as a button with the soul of Edgar Allen Poe (she'd actually make a kickass Honey!) "Zombie," from her album Obligatory Villagers is basically a Cajun-infused undead dance song that is just dripping with voodoo. There haven't been a million songs written about zombies, but I'd definitely have to rank this as among one of the best! Get your swamp on and do "The Zombie," Poppets! ~RH

Zombie Proofing 105: Save Your Brain

A Zombie Honey Preparedness Seminar from Bella

We’re skipping ahead a little in our zombie apocalypse proofing list of dos and don’ts because I feel like this is particularly pertinent. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting older. Every year in fact. And with that, I’m realizing I’m turning more into my mother and grandmother. Which isn’t a bad thing at all, because they are amazing women. Brilliant and strong and funny and capable; with the added bonus of a bizarre silliness and forgetfullness that renders them an awful lot like Lucy Ricardo (I Love Lucy). So, with that in mind, I feel it’s important to talk about how to zombie proof your mind. 

No, not your brain. Your mind - the thoughtful function of that lumpy hunk of meat in your skull that keeps you sharp and capable.

While zombie proofing your home is important, I think that zombie proofing your mind is probably more important. Without it, you have absolutely NO chance of survival. Unless you’re one of those that can stumble through with blind luck and make it out in tact. Either way these five steps will help you prepare your mind for the onslaught of zombies or even just old age.

Welcome to:

Honey Buzz ~ A George A Romero TV Show? Yes please!

Adaptations of graphic novels and comics being adapted for TV are approaching their own version of a Renaissance these days. With series success in the superhero (Arrow, The Flash, DareDevil) and in the horror world (The Walking Dead OBVS, iZombie) it comes as no surprise that another comic book based series would grab some early funding from Cannes (of all places).

Revenge Wednesday Jam ~ 'Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole"

Oh I wish I wish I wish I was born a man
So I could learn how to stand up for myself
Like those guys with guitars
I've been watching in bars
Who've been stamping their feet to a different beat
I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
You bloody mother fucking asshole

Some days, you're just fucking done. Life is wearing you down, people you hate won't stop persistently living, and as much as you want to break everything within reaching distance, you don't even have the energy for that. When I have a day like that, I listen to "Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole" by Martha Wainwright. Because in one song, Martha says everything I'm thinking and feeling on those mean red days. You don't have to pretend, and you don't have to put on a smile. Just tell the world...

You're a bloody mother fucking asshole. ~RH

A Fierceness That Can Not Be Tamed...

She scares me. I crave her.
A Revenge Honey "Badass Females" List by Linnie

Every so often, the Honeys like to stop and take stock of our favorite badass women in the horror world. We celebrate the actresses with our Scream Queen Hall of Fame and our Fierce Femme Fatales Hall of Fame, but we also like to draw attention to a few of our favorite lady characters, both past and present. This week, I decided to compile a few of my more recent favorites: a collection of women from all across the horror spectrum that just make my black heart skip a beat.

Some may be blood-suckers, other may be gnome-stickers, but they are all truly badass bitches.

I Don't Belong Here in Heaven...

A Revenge Honey Retro Review by Linnie

Rush (1991)

Like most kids growing up in the 80s and 90s, I had the pleasure of enjoying MTV and VH1 when they actually played music videos. All day, and due to insomnia, often all night, I would do nothing but watch whatever videos were in rotation at the time. In 1991, one of the most inescapable songs on the radio and the music TV was Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven." Written in reaction to the death of his young son, "Tears" was devastating enough on its own. But the track was chosen as the lead single from the soundtrack for a film called Rush, and the music video was filled with clips from the movie.

Now, in 1991, I was eight years old, and my parents did have SOME limits. Rush was a film about two undercover narcotics officers who become swept up in the world they are investigating, and after mom and dad saw it in theaters, it was determined a no-go for your young Revenge Honey. Instead, I would watch the clips in the "Tears from Heaven" video over and over again, filled with emotional turmoil over the movie I imagined Rush to be. I'm embarrassed to say, it took me until just this week to finally sit down and watch it.

And eight-year-old me is happy to report that Lili Fini Zanuck's film was everything I had built it up to be...

Honey Buzz ~ Indie Film 'Ayla' to Launch Kickstarter

Coming soon from director Elias (Gut - reviewed by Horror TV Honey Lisa here) and The October People (The Invoking, The Device, Valley of the Sasquatch, also reviewed at the Honeys): Ayla, a supernatural horror film starring Tristan Risk and Nicholas Wilder, and along with the release of the film's teaser poster comes the news of Kickstarter launch!

Find out more below...

Honey Buzz ~ 'The Belko Experiment' is Finally Moving Forward!

As a huge fan of actor/musician John Gallagher Jr. (Broadway's Spring Awakening, The Newsroom), any news is good news. But news involving a horror film produced by James Gunn (Slither, Guardians of the Galaxy)?

Yes. Yes please.

Horror TV Tuesday Jam ~ 'Make You Love Me'

When I’ve used up
The best you
And I’m breaking myself against
The next you
I’ll think of
Your sweat and true love
It’s another inner monologue I gotta ignore
I’m still a little too easy too insecure
Cause all I wanna do is make you love me

Do you remember a show from 2010 called The Gates? No, you probably don't, because no one watched it and it got cancelled after one season. No one but me, that is. The Gates was essentially ABC's supernaturally-themed Desperate Housewives, in which a neighborhood full of vampires, and werewolves, and witches, and one really really cute succubus, all live in a fancy gated community. When a couple of normies move in, one of which was played by now super-popular genre star Frank Grillo, they slowly discover that their normal picket-fence life is anything BUT normal. The Gates may have only lasted one season, but it I enjoyed the hell out of it. And the music, including this track from Slow Runner, was a big part of it. ~RH

Penny Dreadful: Season 2, Episode 3 ~ The Nightcomers

A Horror TV Honey Episode Recap by Lisa

Thanks to Mr. Chandler, we get to learn why it is that Ms. Ives drew a scorpion with her blood while defending herself from the Nightcomers. Backstory?! Well, this TV Baby loves a good backstory and this one definitely delivered. 

The Cut Wife is the first witch Ms. Ives ever met and you know she is fierce because she is played by the indisputable Patti LuPone. Realizing that she is afflicted with something out of the ordinary, Vanessa travels to see the witch in an effort to learn more about herself and, indeed, she does. Initially, the Cut-Wife assumes that Vanessa has appeared on her doorstep because she needs to have a baby removed from her body, hence, the lovely name. Or perhaps she requires a love potion or various other things that only women would go to a witch for. By forcing Vanessa to psychically reveal where the Cut-Wife got the scar on her back, Vanessa proves that she is strong, like a scorpion, and she tells the truth when she proclaims, I am like no others. That is why Im here.

Honey Buzz ~ Trailer for SCREAM QUEENS

Great tentacled lord, how do I begin with this.

The first official trailer for Ryan Murphy's Scream Queens has been released, and for the only time in my life that I will ever quote a dead eyed Emma Roberts character: "What fresh hell is this?"

Coming to Fox this Fall, the horror anthology series (because Ryan Murphy can't seem to do any other kind of series these days) will focus on a sorority house, Kappa Kappa Tau.

What's in the trailer: 20 years ago, a mysterious murder happened in the sorority house, and as per usual, it's time for the revenge related to this mysterious death to begin. Because, why the fuck not. Emma Roberts is Queen Bitch and the leader of the Sorority Sisters, also known as "The Chanels"

Sorry... I threw up in my mouth a little.

Honey Buzz ~ Trailer for INTO THE GRIZZLY MAZE

It happens often that a film will be completed, packaged and ready to go for release but something inexplicably pops up that comepletly derails those plans. The most recent film that people freaked out about that happening was with Eli Roth's Green Inferno, which instead released everywhere BUT the US markets... even Australia has seen this Cannibal Ferox rip-off reimagining before US audiences, which I find hilarious because that never happens. Another film that has suffered a similar fate, but on different terms is Into The Grizzly Maze. Previously titled The Red Machine for its initial German release (back in February 2015), and then Endangered (which might hint that it's one of those amazing animal revenge themed films), Grizzly (totally not like that other bear attack film of the same title), Into the Grizzly Maze features a strong cast and is heading towards a "just in time for summer camping" release date.

Murder Monday Jam ~ 'Skinned'

Hey, I could really use a couple of hands
To complete one hell of a plant stand
Oh, and don't you know that I'm caught here in the middle
Making rib cages into coffee tables
I'm just makin' em into coffee tables
And when I realize that this skin I'm in
Hey, it isn't mine
And when will the thrill be too much meat for me to find anymore

In the 90s, grunge and metal bands loved to write songs about serial killers. Because really, what's more hardcore than radio-friendly pop songs about Ted Bundy? One of my favorite true crime songs from the 90s is Blind Melon's "Skinned." Mostly because out of all the serial killer songs I know, "Skinned" is potentially one of the catchiest, most toe-tapping murder ballads every written. Blind Melon had a talent for writing dark songs cloaked in an air of happiness, and that is what makes them one of the more memorable bands from the 90s. 

That, and they sang about making rib cages into coffee tables. SO awesome. ~RH

Horror Comics: Blood & Gourd

A Comics Honey Review by Shannon

This is revenge for the Pumpkin Pie isn't it?

This is Halloween, everybody make a scene!
Title: Blood & Gourd No. 1
Author: Jenz K. Lund & D.H. Shultis
Artist:  Dave Acosta (Pencils), Fran Gamboa (colours) LC Ruiz & Jessica Jimerson (Letters)
Publisher: Dead Peasant
Released: 2015

Artwork 4/5
Layout 2/5
Writing 4/5
Characters 3/5
Re-Readability 4/5
Total: 3 1/2 out of 5

“Forget going green, you'll be running from orange”

It’s Devil’s Night in Olympia, WA- and out at Henderson Farms, the festivities are reaching a crescendo. Young and old have gathered to pick their own pumpkin, drink hot apple cider, and partake in the usual pumpkin farm fare. However, something has awakened from deep within the fertile soil. After years of abuse and humiliation, the pumpkins… are ready to pick us. You can beg! You can plead! You can scream! But these Hell’s lanterns are lit only with the burning desire to watch you die.

Looks like we've got a serious contender for King of the Pumpkin Patch after reading the first issue of Blood & Gourd from indie comic publisher, Dead Peasant. The book is about a mad scientist and his experimental pumpkins wreaking havoc on a country farm. 

Honey Buzz ~ InGen Technologies: Tomorrow, Today

Every so often, a movie comes along that you wish was a real thing. Back in 1993, that movie was Jurassic Park. This year, it's Jurassic World... and What We Do In The Shadows.

I'm OBSESSED with this poster/Aquatic Park
I really love it when films go all out with their marketing campaigns, and Jurassic World has been turning it out. Check out their InGen commercial, and get a glimpse into the updated laboratory that also features some nice throwbacks to the original film. I'm feeling all nostalgic about it already.  

A Slightly Embarrassing First Viewing of 'Sleepaway Camp'

A Slasher Honey Retro Review by Chassity

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Okay, I confess. I’ve been a naughty Slasher Honey. Up until this week, I had never gotten around to seeing Sleepaway Camp. I know, I know. How can this be? 

As I’ve said before, I’ve grown wary of seeing certain “classic” horror films: the kind of film that everyone else knows, has seen, and has been hyped up for so long that I’m afraid it will only be a letdown for me. 

I’ve been putting off watching Sleepaway Camp for years, for exactly that reason. Well, that and the fact that I’ve always known the ending thanks to the statute of limitations on spoiler alerts. Not that I’m complaining. 

Surprisingly, Sleepaway Camp did not disappoint. It was one of those rare films that held up to, and against, all the hype. That’s more than I can say for a lot of horror films. But even more than that, for me it passed the Horror TV Honey Lisa Fremont Test: it’s a film I could easily watch three times in a row. 

Blu-ray and DVD Releases for May 19, 2015!

It's not a bad week for horror home releases! Along with some classics, your Revenge Honey is doing a happy dance over the blu-ray releases of Extremities and Stigmata. What will YOU be buying this week? Let us know on Twitter!

Spooky Kid Saturday Jam ~ 'Grim Grinning Ghosts'

When the crypt goes creak
And the tombstones quake
Spooks come out for a swinging wake
Happy haunts materialize
And begin to vocalize
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize
Now don't close your eyes
And don't try to hide
Or a silly spook may sit by your side
Shrouded in a daft disguise
They pretend to terrorize
Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize

Like many spooky kids, I spent a good portion of childhood brainstorming ways I could move into Disney World's Haunted Mansion ride. On one family trip, I even tried to jump out of the "doom buggie" to frolic among the singing heads in the cemetery. (Note... that's frowned upon).

However, despite my inability to join the 999 other happy haunts, the Haunted Mansion has remained my favorite ride in the park. On more than one occasion, I would just get on and off the ride for as long as I could stand being herded like cattle in line. And while I can't visit the "Happiest Place on Earth" as often as I'd like, the ride's theme song, "Grim Grinning Ghosts," is all the reminding I need of the "Creepiest Ride on Earth."

So enjoy your Spooky Kid Jam, and as always...

"Hurry back! Hurry back! Be sure to bring your death certificate, if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now! We've been dying... to have you..."

Creepy Girls Heart Creepy Boys...

A Revenge Honey "Mini-Honey Crushes" List by Linnie

Photo via Allyson Gray Photography
When you grow up a spooky kid, your first loves tend to run a little outside the norm. While other girls are crushing on boy bands, you're watching Less Than Zero but turning it off before the end because you can't bear to watch Robert Downey Jr. die. (Just me?) You probably watched Legend, and found yourself more intrigued by Tim Curry's towering Lord of Darkness than Tom Cruise's good-hearted forest boy, Jack. Or maybe you just couldn't stop staring at David Bowie's epic codpiece in Labyrinth (trust us... you weren't alone). But no matter where your loyalties lie, the fellas you loved were just a little darker than they should have been, and that is why you grew into a horror-loving lady.

The following is a list of just a few of our favorite creepy fellas from childhood! Keep an eye out for a future list of our favorite kick-ass spooky ladies...

Saturday Morning Creepy Cartoon ~ Ren and Stimpy

Ren and Stimpy - Season 1, Episode 3a

When your Head Honey was just a Little Busy Bee, there weren't many occasions that my brother and I disobeyed the parental strictures that were imposed on our TV consumption. While she somehow missed the memo on Watership Down, my mother had good instincts when it came to cartoons that were just plain fucked up and tried her best to make sure that we didn't watch it, or at the very least, get exposed to too much of it. Sadly, when it came to Ren & Stimpy, I don't know HOW we convinced her that it was the best thing ever. I'm pretty sure that my brother and I consumed FAR more of this brand of madness than I'm sure we should have. I can still sing the entire theme song for "Log" and most of the 1993 "You Eediot" album. Don't judge me. I'll cut you.