The Horror Honeys: Come Out to the Coast, We'll Get Together, Have a Few Laughs...

Come Out to the Coast, We'll Get Together, Have a Few Laughs...

A Holidays with the Horror Honeys Review by Revenge Honey Linnie

Die Hard (1988)

Like any good 80s kid, Christmas isn't Christmas in my house if I haven't watched Hans Gruber fall from the 40th floor of the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles. The sight of Alan Rickman's terrified eyes as he plummets to his death just screams, "Happy Holidays, motherfucker!" And that's why I picked Die Hard as my last review of the 2015 holiday season.

So ho-ho-ho and a last can of Diet Coke, it's time to walk on broken glass with John McClane to officially welcome in Christmas!

The Story: Really? Do I really have to tell you the story of Die Hard? It's like I don't know you at all anymore. John McClane, Hans Gruber, fake terrorists/real thieves, Carl Winslow, ESPLOSIONS!, Twinkies, William Atherton AND Paul Gleeson (2/3 of the trifecta of 80s asshole majesty), YIPPEE-KI-YAY MOTHERFUCKER!

The End.


Growing up in a permissive household means I saw a LOT of action films in the theater, but Die Hard wasn't one of them (I was only five when it came out. My first was Terminator 2). So Die Hard became a home-release mainstay for my family, especially around Christmas. My dad was never much for heart-warming family films, or animation, and since you can only watch A Christmas Story so many times (how many times can one watch it in a 24-hour period? Just asking for a friend), Die Hard was a back-up holiday movie in which carols were sung, hearts were warmed, and a LOT of shit blew up.

Plus, this is the face of holiday happiness!
But most importantly, Die Hard IS an exceptionally heart-warming film. The friendship that forms between John and Al is adorable, and we get to see Holly and John repair their broken marriage, if only for a brief time in the series. Of the four films in the series (what fifth film? WHAT FIFTH FILM?), Die Hard is the most optimistic, the most touching, and the most holiday-friendly, because I don't know about you, but nothing warms my heart at Christmas like watching a douchebag die.

Hasta luego, douchenozzle!
So happy holidays, melon farmers! May your holidays be as sparkly and bright as Alan Rickman's holly jolly personality!

NEVAH!

Die Hard is available via iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, YouTube VOD, Vudu, Google Play, & blu-ray/DVD

Do you celebrate Christmas in Nakatomi with John and Hans?
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