The Horror Honeys: Welcome to FRIGHT NIGHT and Generation Y...

Welcome to FRIGHT NIGHT and Generation Y...

A Monster Honey Vampire Month Review by Jennica

Fright Night (2011)

Ask almost any 30- or 40-something horror fan who grew up in the 1980s about today's horror films and you will likely get a sea of fists shaking and screams of childhood robbery. Crystal Lake campers? Robbed. Freddy Krueger freaks? Cheated. Deadites? Sorry. So, it was only a matter of time before the Fright Night (1985) fanatics' world was turned upside down. 

I'll admit that I'm not exactly a diehard fan of this particular franchise. I thoroughly enjoy Fright Night as well as its sequel, but upon hearing the news of a remake, I wasn't in a hurry to draw out my fangs. And even after sitting through the film upon its initial release, my feelings of indifference and uncertainty remained. I think I like it. But why? I find it a little irritating. But what am I so mad at? After sinking my teeth into this "reimagining" several times over, I think I've finally hit the nail on the coffin.

The Plot: Charley Brewster's new neighbor, Jerry,  displays some unusual habits. He is only ever seen after dusk, he has a rather large dumpster sitting in his driveway, and his fixation on the slender blondes on the block is insatiable to say the least. After a local high school student goes missing, Charley's former partner in crime, Ed, suspects that Charley's new neighbor is a vampire on the prowl. As the student body rapidly shrinks and Jerry closes in on Charley's mother, it's time to seek the help of an expert on vampire slaying... and women. Once Ed vanishes, Charley and his girlfriend Amy must track down Las Vegas extraordinaire Peter Vincent to join them in their battle against one bad neighbor.

I only wanted to borrow some sugar!
Almost everything both delightful and disappointing about this movie can be summed up in the performances given. Director Craig Gillespie's 2011 reimagining gives the beloved 80s cult classic a sexy makeover with a cast list that tickles the fancy of Generation Y pop culture junkies. The film stars Anton Yelchin of Star Trek (2008) fame, a bloodthirsty Colin Farrell, James Franco's little brother who plays a douchebag in everything, and Reid Ewing aka dumbass Dylan on Modern Family

However, the real highlight of this Vegas adventure-- and I know I'm not the only lady out there-- is David Tennant in leather pants. This is not a drill! I repeat, David Tennant IN LEATHER PANTS! As a fan of the ever popular BBC television series Doctor Who, I stood beside my fellow drooling fangirls in mourning when Tenant morphed into the obnoxious eleventh Doctor Matt Smith. Then along came David Tenant as the dark, mysterious Peter Vincent to wipe away our tears. And nerd girls everywhere rejoiced (not just me, right?). 

Can I haz?
Among the all-star A-list cast, there lies one bad or rather evil apple to spoil the bunch. The character of Evil Ed was an iconic ingredient in a bloody delicious cake in the 80s, but the role was idiotically passed onto Superbad's (2007) mega-dweeb Christopher Mintze-Plasse. Mintze-Plasse, who I continue to believe has more potential than Hollywood will allow him, returns as McLovin' again... only this time he adds a little more bite. Hearing the wimpy mouth-breather utter the words "You're so cool, Brewster" as if he were a dog with his tail between his legs never ceases to make me cringe. 
As if Mintze-Plasse's painful performance was not enough to cause my eyes to strain from rolling, the all too obvious female objectification rears its ugly head in this toothy tale. From the very start of the film, there is a strong focus on lady behinds and not in the humorous #buttstuff sort of way. The number of shots involving women strutting away from the camera excedes the body count. I get it. Vampires are naturally sexual creatures of the night, but it's unfortunate that modern-day seduction is often confused with being an unapologetic dudebro.

Shut up McLovin'!
"Women who look a certain way. Well, they need to be managed." Just when I'm starting to fall in love with this hipster rendition of an 80s cult classic, Vampire Jerry blocks the doorway as well as my ability to fully love the rest of the movie. At this point, it finally clicked in my mind, the reason I have such a love-hate relationship with the Fright Night remake. It wasn't the pathetic excuse for evil that is Ed, but that I love to hate every other male character. They are all attractive, charming, and complete womanizers. Women are treated as trophies and cute little pets that need to be kept on a tight leash. The heros are no better than the villain. 

Jennica's Rating: 3 Nosy Neighbors out of 5

If you are loyal to the original film or if you just prefer your vampire movies with more blood and less douche, I highly recommend averting your eyes when faced with this 2011 film. Otherwise, Fright Night is available on iTunes and Amazon Instant Video.

Have you already clawed your way through the Fright Night remake? 
Share your love (or hatred) with me on Twitter: @PrmQueenFrmMars