The Horror Honeys: Saturday Creature Feature: Lair of the White Worm

Saturday Creature Feature: Lair of the White Worm

Saturday Creature Feature with Suzanne!

The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

Are you afraid of snakes? What about naked women with fangs? Frankly, the latter scares me more than snakes ever will. Since we’re well into Vampire Month here at the Honeys and since vampires are, in fact, creatures, finding that special… uh… something for Saturday was a bit problematic. Oh boy, did I find you a good one, my spooky darlings! 

An archaeological dig of an ancient convent uncovers the giant skull of a snake. Angus Flint (Peter Capaldi), who discovered the skull, goes on a fact finding mission with Eve and Mary Trent (Katherine Oxenberg and Sammi Davis), the two women who own the farm the ruins are on. Stories of the D’Ampton Worm, which is actually a dragon-snake, killed hundreds of years earlier by the ancestors of local rich boy, Lord James D’Ampton (Hugh Grant). Meanwhile, Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) returns to inhabit Temple House and find a suitable virgin sacrifice for the snake god Dionin. 

Written and directed by Ken Russell (The Devils, Altered States, Gothic) and based loosely on Bram Stoker’s  novel, The Lair of the White Worm is, without a doubt, one of the most bizarre horror films I’ve ever seen and it's full of surreal imagery straight out of a Catholic’s worst nightmare. The bright, colorful depictions of nuns being defiled by Romans during a crucifixion, break up the shots of the subdued, muted shots of the English countryside. 

Dat reaction face tho...
Sadly, Lair of the White Worm gets a bad rap, which may be due to the content or the fact it isn’t particularly scary, but to give credit where it’s due, it’s really, REALLY funny. There is so much camp and silly sexual humor that is, at times, in very poor taste, but if you aren’t easily offended, you can just sit back, relax, enjoy the plethora of phalluses, and play a nice game of Snakes and Ladders.

Warning, Catholic nightmares ahead!

The latest Dr. Who, Peter Capaldi, gives good nerd, and Hugh Grant is, well, Hugh Grant, but Amanda Donohoe owns! Transforming from English Lady to slutty Matrix girl and finally into naked, blue snake goddess, she is sexy and funny. 

Now, calling this a vampire film is a bit of a stretch, but when Lady Sylvia bites someone, injecting her venom, the victim does take on the same snake-like attributes so we’ll give this a pass.

The Lair of the White Worm is available on Amazon Instant Video and on DVD.

Watch out for that overbite...