The Horror Honeys: The Punch in the Throat Awards: Worst Horror Villains!

The Punch in the Throat Awards: Worst Horror Villains!

Hosted by Revenge Honey Linnie!

Sometimes, a horror movie just deserves a good punch in the throat. Previously, we delivered punches in the throat to the worst twist endings in horror history. This week, we're focusing on the most moronic horror villains in the history of forever. For every Freddy or Jason or Hannibal, there are a dozen other bargain basement villains that make you want to run screaming for the nearest Disney movie. The following are just ten of the most obnoxious, but I'm sure you can think of a few more...

Get your punching fists ready, kids! It's time to take out some shitty villains.

10) Smiley... from Smiley

There are no "lulz" to be had when it comes to this moronic attempt at re-inventing the slasher for the Internet age. 

9) Ben Willis from I Know What You Did Last Summer and sequel

I know what you did last summer too, Ben, and apparently it was mug the Gorton's Fisherman and steal his work clothes.

8) A fern... in The Happening

If you are a villain and you can't manage to outsmart Mark Fucking Wahlberg... then I just don't know how I am supposed to take you seriously. (This applies to all Wahlberg's... *cough cough* Dreamcatcher)

7) Belial from Basket Case

When your villain looks like a piece of gum someone scraped off their tennis shoe, you've made a terrible mistake.

6) The Darth Maul Demon from Insidious

I don't care WHAT you try to tell me his name is. This Tiny Tim-loving bastard looks exactly like a character who suffered one of the most frustrating deaths in the Star Wars series and I'm supposed to find him scary? NOPE!

5) The "Genie" from the Wishmaster movies

Less a genie and more like a frat boy with an obnoxious sense of humor, the evil djinn isn't so much evil as he is just a massive dick.

4) The elitist d-bags in The Purge

There is nothing quite like squandering an opportunity to say something meaningful about class and social justice on movie about a bunch of yuppie shitstains trying to kill an African-American kid for kicks. Fuck all y'all, is what I'm saying.

3) Jack Frost/The Gingerdead Man from their respective movies

What could possibly be scarier than a sadistic snowman and an evil gingerbread man? 
Everything. Everything else is scarier. Seriously.

2) Dr. Feinstone from The Dentist

Steve Martin was a scarier dentist in Little Shop of Horrors. Corbin Bernsen just comes across as a whiney sap who would rather tank his career than pay for a therapist. 

1) Terl in Battlefield Earth

Fucking... fuck you Travolta. Even Xenu can't forgive you for this abomination.

Dishonorable Mention:
Leprechaun and Chucky for being so goddamned kickable

So who do YOU think deserves a punch in the throat?
Tell me on Twitter: @linnieloowho