The Horror Honeys: Saturday Creature Feature with Suzanne!

Saturday Creature Feature with Suzanne!

Hell Night (1981)

Are you busy this weekend, my spooky darlings? If you’re free, I was thinking of taking you to this swell fraternity party. It’s an all-nighter at this big manor on the hill. I should warn you though, there’s a high risk of death, but if you’re brave enough to make it until morning, you’ll officially be a member of the coolest frat on campus! Interested?

Hell Night pits four prospective members of the Alpha Sigma Rho fraternity and its sister sorority against the legend of Garth Manor, where the patriarch of the Garth family murdered his wife and three of his four children, all of whom suffered from severe deformities. After locking the pledges in, the fraternity president and his sidekicks attempt to terrorize them with cheap masks and Halloween sound effects. What none of them realize is, there is something or someone loose on the property who begins killing everyone off, one pretentious frat twat after the other. 

Could the killer possibly be the remaining Garth child, Andrew? He was never found when the rest of his family’s bodies were discovered.

Linda Blair stars as Marti, a poor girl who can fix a car engine and desperately wants to be part of the “it” crowd. Marti may be one of the worst final girls in slasher history, pretty much lucking out into surviving after being protected by super adorable Peter Barton’s Jeff and delicious Vincent Van Patten’s Seth. I do love a Van Patten.

This 80s creature/slasher/haunted house hybrid fulfills all of the necessary criteria; busty chicks, hot dudes, costumes, booze, sex, an isolated mansion, and deformed killers. Yes, I said killers. A plot device that is never really explained, but fuck it, it’s the 80s. Who needs an 80s movie to make sense? After all, there are a respectable number of kills and a fantastic ending.

This film takes a LOT of elements from Halloween, from the eerily similar music and exterior shots of the house, to the way the killer is seen. Of course, Irwin Yablans was a producer on this film so that really isn’t a surprise.

Hell Night isn’t particularly original in its formula, nor is it scary. It suffers from a preposterous story, bad special effects, and one of the worst sex scenes ever, but it’s a lot of fun to watch, well paced and oozing with the gooiest of cheese. 

This delightful movie is out of print, but it is available as a VHS transfer via YouTube! Look for it and give it a watch. You won’t regret it.

Did you brave Hell Night?
Tell me on Twitter: @suzebee04