The Horror Honeys: Madman: A Lesson In Tedium

Madman: A Lesson In Tedium

A Slasher Honey Retro Review by Chassity

Madman (1982)

Like our Horror TV Honey, I always like to find the positive in things. I don’t enjoy being negative.

So, this is going to be short, and not-so-sweet. 

Madman (1982) is a slasher film that takes place at a camp for gifted children. You know the drill. 

The teachers/counselors and the students sit around the campfire telling scary tales, about an evil man named Madman Marz, who killed his entire family one night. People in the town found out what he did, hung him up in the woods, and left him for dead overnight. When they came back for him the next morning, he wasn’t where they left him, and he was never found again. The legend is that he haunts the woods, waiting for anyone who dares say his name so he can go after his next, latest victim.

Of course, the kids find the story to be absolutely ridiculous, don’t believe it, and just like Candyman and Bloody Mary, Madman Marz is summoned. 

If this guy tells you a campfire story, you believe it.
You can pretty much guess the rest. From here things go into straight up generic slasher mode. 

You're better off. That perm was a bummer.
Madman is about as formulaic as slashers can get. Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn’t. in this case, it didn’t, because what the film ended up being (at least to me) is the absolute worst thing a horror film can be: boring and forgettable. It is basically Friday the 13th without Jason, and you know how your Slasher Honey feels about that. Seriously. It’s scene after scene of kill, meaningless dialogue and sex and people walking around, kill, repeat. 

There are too many long stretches where nothing happened. In fact, there were moments where I forgot I was supposed to be watching a film, and got distracted by other things. Whenever there wasn’t a kill happening, I found it difficult to remain focused on the screen. 

That won't end well.
And just like in Friday the 13th the teachers are a bunch of annoying, horny buttholes who are off playing cards and having sex instead of watching the kids. The only difference is these aren’t teenagers with raging hormones. These are actual adults. I’ve never seen such horny teachers in a film before. 

I think this movie tried to be unique with its overly romantic love scenes, while still conforming to the slasher formula, but it just ended up being laughable to me. A scene that looks like it belongs in a romance novel… in a horror movie? No, thanks. 

I will give this film credit for scaring me because any horror where the killer uses an axe or a hatchet gets to me. It’s disturbing, and the most painfully gory way to watch someone die, as far as I’m concerned. So it did affect me in that sense. 

Oh, Madman... You sir, are a delight.
It’s not that Madman is a bad movie. It’s just that it’s bland. It’s one of those movies that falls into the category of “if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all” type of slashers. It has nothing to offer if you’ve already seen movies like Friday the 13th and Sleepaway Camp

In fact, its best moments are the first ten minutes while the backstory is being told, and its last two minutes, with those creepy final images. 

In the end, here’s all I have to say about it: Madman. It’s a thing. Meh. 

Slasher Honey Rating: 1 out of 5 Hot Tub Sex Rumps

You can watch Madman on YouTube!

How do YOU feel about Madman Marz?
Tell me on Twitter: @ChassMM