The Horror Honeys: Monday Slasher Jam ~ 'Shia LaBeouf'

Monday Slasher Jam ~ 'Shia LaBeouf'



Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him, 
But you're hopelessly lost yourself. 
Stranded with a murderer, 
You creep silently through the underbrush. 
A-ha! In the distance, 
A small cottage with a light on. 
Hope! 
You move stealthily toward it, 
But your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap!


My love for the slasher genre runs deep and dark, like the woods that Shia LaBoeuf lives in... actual cannibal Shia LaBoeuf to be exact. I stumbled across this song by accident, and for some reason, I can't stop singing it now. Let's run this through the slasher checklist, shall we? Girl wanders through forest alone at night (check), dead cell phone (check), a bear trap wounds our heroine (check), she takes refuge at a cabin in the woods (check), a tussle with the killer (check), but he comes back for a jump scare (check)! The final girl emerges victorious, if a little worse for wear. Kudos, Rob Cantor, kudos to you and your adorable beard.  ~HH