The Horror Honeys: HORRORSCOPES ~ JUNE 2015


Gemini (May 22 - June 21)
There is a strong focus on you and your “talents” this month, dear Gemini, but on the 2nd, the full moon brings your attention to relationships, as well as unrealized feelings. Bring back some balance to your life by focusing your tanning and leather working skills on one significant person. Keep in mind that this is an important month for pursuing your personal goals and really expressing yourself. Create that leatherbound journal you’ve been thinking about and use it to document everything you’ve gone through with your special someone. Remember, nothing goes to waste. By mid-month you will be clear and determined - ready to grab new victims as they present themselves; the end of the month is particularly excellent for this. Friendships, networking, learning, and partnering are all highly favored. The more people in your circle of trust, the more material you have for creating. You can learn new skills by teaming up with other skin “treatment” aficionados and use their techniques against them to create your ultimate leather-clad masterpiece. Your pet project(s) can be a little more complicated this month - what with all the new material, skills, and writing you have to do - and it’s important to be reflective about your recent projects. Next time will you use someone with easily recognizable tattoos for that book cover? Probably not. From the 24th, motivation to pursue your financial goals is strong and building. Now is the time for a large scale installation. Leather art is it. Here is where that tattooed fella would have come in handy. But nevermind that, get to creating. And remember, you can cross stitch into almost anything. 

Cancer (June 22 - July 23)
Don’t be alarmed, Cancer. This month your focus deviates from career and profession to family and personal matters. However, be sure to keep your aggression in check as relationships with friends and loved ones need a bit of diplomacy. 

This month is suitable for Cancerians to examine life goals and form new strategies to make your life secure; especially in the event that your aggression wins and your friends and loved ones are no longer friends or loved ones - or living ones. 

Leo (July 24 - August 23)
This month, conflicts in the family will create disharmony. It’s key to keep negative energies at bay, for they create a gamey flavor and will seriously ruin your future dinner parties.

Try your best to avoid bitterness in love relationships - mostly by adding a pinch or two of baking soda to correct that overpowering taste. Remember, you can tell how someone loves you by their kiss; and how they taste by biting their lips off.

Virgo (August 24 - September 23)
You can create your fortunes… No, really. This month there is no need for flexibility or to look for help from others - they’re just naysayers anyway.

Fire up that printing press and get to work. If you’re particularly good with a skinner knife, you can get rid of those pesky downers and make some new “leather” wallets for your newly acquired funds. Just be sure to let the ink dry, you don’t to tattoo your fine goods. 

Libra (September 24 - October 23)
You cannot ignore the need for harmony on the domestic front this month. Running after your ambitions, or your victims, is no good reason to let your homestead fall into chaos. 

You’ll need to balance your independence and social skills to meet new targets in your life, but remember to be flexible. Clean the kitchen for yourself, clean the basement for your future captive. See? Balance.

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)
This month your psychic abilities will help you in achieving your goals. You’ll have to flow with the situation, and if that doesn’t work, you’ll have to bend the situation to your will. 

Being diplomatic in your dealings with others is all good and well - when their purpose serves your own. If not, slam the doors, close the blinds, and rev that telepathy engine. What could go wrong?

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22)
Your spirituality should be kept in mind this month as emotional disturbances will affect your group therapy environment. Be sure to TRY to set fire to many an effigy and pray daily to your God(s).

Work hard to make your home a delightful place to be. Those straight jackets are usually made from canvas, so ask the nurses for some crayons and decorate to your hearts content. Keep on smiling. The sun is shining; saying thank you to it is good for your soul and your mental health.

Capricorn (December 23 - January 20)
This month forecasts that you should employ your social skills and popularity to attain your targets. Not feeling particularly popular or social, I recommend getting a plant. They make for good company and enjoy one-sided conversation.

Should you attain a plant that begins talking back, by all means, find out what it wants. If it’s human blood - then you may want to reconsider your aversion to socializing. Or not. It’s totally up to you how you keep your plant friends happy and fed. 

Aquarius (January 21 - February 19)
June foretells that home and emotional feelings are in focus this month - maybe not necessarily your home, it depends on how you’re feeling. Taking over a new homestead while angry may lead to quite a bit of clean up before moving out. Try doing so when you’re feeling joyful or carefree.

Remember to clearly communicate your intent to your home-invader victims. Communication is key to acquiring your desired outcomes - or avoiding trouble from the wily ones.

Pisces (February 20 - March 20)
This month domestic affairs and understanding of inner self will be of importance. Take the time to create a meditative space in your home and truly listen to the voices in your head.

Your goal is to stay calm and focused and keep those voices satiated. It is imperative you take this time or the influence of Mars will increase your aggression and the voices will become louder causing you to act out - and none of you want that.

Aries (March 21 - April 20)
Predictions indicate that planetary power is equal in both Eastern and Western halves of the horoscope. Hence your resolve to finally be taken back to your home planet - whichever one that may be. 

Continue to improve your spiritual strength, and telepathic phoning-home skills, through meditation and tons of antennae. Don’t worry, once the mother ship comes your psychological issues will cease to be. 

Taurus (April 21 - May 21)
This month you will be searching for the inner beauty of your existence and the existence of others. You won’t so much be looking inside yourself, as inside that person over there, and that one too. 

You may be distracted the monochromatically squishy interiors, but it’s auspicious to learning some new coloring and layering designs for beautifying your residence… hey look - “inner beauty.”