The Horror Honeys: Honey Buzz ~ Paranormal Activity 5 Trailer

Honey Buzz ~ Paranormal Activity 5 Trailer

Apart from having the dumbest title ever, it looks like we will finally be seeing the end of the Paranormal Activity series. Full disclosure, I was a fan of the last scene in the first Paranormal Activity film. That was it. 

With the fifth instalment (sorry, it's the 6th film... The Marked Ones wasn't technically a sequel, or was it? I blocked it out.), the attempt/need/desperation to do something new with the series is palpable. Children, and the possession of children is always a nope factor for many horror fans, especially those with children or younger siblings. Personally, all the eye rolling. Children are conduits for weird shit, we know this. Buzzfeed knows this, Buzzfeed makes lists about creepy drawings, and creepy things kids say/do. If Buzzfeed knows, it's time to stop being freaked out and move the fuck on.

I'd like a more obvious title, please.


The story (I had to get this off of Wikipedia because IMDb doesn't know what the fuck is going on): The film will follow supernatural occurrences that take place in a newly moved family's home in Palo Alto, California. The family consists of four members including Ryan, a game developer, Ryan's wife Emily, a stay-at-home mom described as "more serious than her young husband—she's constantly on the go, does yoga, and though loving, has an air of maturity about her," their 6-year old daughter Leila, described as "a fearless, opinionated tomboy", and Ryan's younger brother described as a "less fit, less funky version of his brother." The brothers finds tapes of young Katie and Kristi being taught supernatural abilities by their grandmother when Katie noticing the Brothers' presence despite this video being filmed 20 years ago. They also find a camera which, as they discovered, can see paranormal phenomenons that the human eye can't see. With Leila being targeted by supernatural forces, Ryan must find a way to protect his daughter before it's too late. 

*sigh*
As if I needed more encouragement not to procreate.
What's in the trailer: All the things. All of them. Running, screaming, jump scares, creepy children, found footage. However, it's worth saying that the interactions that we do get to see between father and child and between the family members themselves appears very natural, which is great to see. Child actors can be great, or they can be horrid, but Blumhouse has a great track record of finding unexpectedly great child actors for their films, so fingers crossed for that, because the story is really about the children more than anything. Point of annoyance: Bloody Mary. I'm all for mythologies and urban legends, but between this and the whole attempt at making Charlie Charlie a viral thing for another film (The Gallows), I'm hard pressed to 'get the creeps' over anything related to that kind of forced trope. 

SO - we have: 
  • a camera that can see things that the naked eye can't (jump scare territory) which means someone will always be filming the action. Hooray for voyeur horror.
  • Urban legends (zzzzz)
  • A snap cut of a Satanic-looking ritual book (why is it always Satan's fault?)
  • an exorcism - or just a priest doing shit that doesn't work/makes it worse (obviously)
  • creepy kids (obviously)
  • another attempt at Poltergeist imagery (can we stop this please?)
  • going through stuff that previous homeowners have left behind 

I have a quick way to end this movie in the first 10 minutes: take all the shit that the people left behind to the dump. That's what you do when people leave shit behind. They don't want it, you don't want it. Stop playing with other people's things. Stupid. 

I'm hard pressed to watch found footage films at the best of times. Would I ever want to see a found footage film in 3D? Nope. There's my nope.

 

Originally slated to be released in March (whoops), Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension will be hitting theatres in October this year. In 3D. 

Because found footage and 3D just go together sooooo well. 
Can Paranormal Activity 5 be the end of found footage films too? Can it? 
I'm begging, I'm fucking begging.