The Horror Honeys: The Mirror: Seven Years of Bad Luck for Watching This

The Mirror: Seven Years of Bad Luck for Watching This

A Bored Supernatural Honey Review by Suzanne

The Mirror (2014)

I fully admit I closed my eyes and just picked this film from Netflix. There has been so little to choose from lately, my desperation got the best of me. I never even read the synopsis. I have no one to blame but myself.

Three roommates, Jemma, Matt and Steve, well, they’re British so flatmates, purchase a mirror from eBay, which is supposedly haunted. They set up surveillance cameras in the hopes of capturing paranormal activity. The evidence could land them a million dollar prize.

After several days of nothing, they introduce a Ouija board, naturally. Matt begins acting strangely, sleepwalking, waking up in odd places, and feeling physically ill. He also wears a small camera each night so he can record his sleepwalking activity, but won’t show the footage to anyone.

This movie is pretty much everything I hate. Documentary style footage, best friends inexplicably turning on each other and literally nothing happening until the end. At the 59 minute mark (yes, I checked) there was nothing but shot after shot of a camera looking into a mirror that was as antique as anything you would find at Target, POV from Matt’s GoPro as he meanders from room to room with a knife, and Steve talking to Jemma about Matt.

This movie is like an eBay warning label. But not really.
There isn’t a smidgeon of backstory to the mirror or the contest they’ve entered. All three characters appear to be unemployed, although they live in a very spacious flat. They never leave the apartment and Jemma is always in her pajamas (I don’t judge her for that). Steve seems less concerned with the deterioration of his best friend than finding evidence of the supernatural, even after Matt disappears.

The only scene that got a genuine reaction out of me was when Matt leaves the apartment, with his knife, and attempts to stab a girl in an alley. She immediately covers his face with mace. He screamed and I laughed.

About 15 minutes before the movie ends, the filmmakers decided they needed to add something to spice up the monotony and decided on eyeball removal. We don’t actually see anything because of the camera angles so it’s not even cringeworthy. It also makes no sense in the context of the film because we have nothing to go on from the start.

The Mirror is the most boring 88 minutes I’ve ever spent doing anything. Excuse me while I go mace myself. 

Supernatural Honey's verdict: negative 2 home accents out of 5

Mirror, mirror on the... Nevermind, go fuck yourself.