The Horror Honeys: “That 11-inch Dong Has My Luggage Tags On It!”

“That 11-inch Dong Has My Luggage Tags On It!”


A Revenge Honey Vintage Review by Linnie

Die, Mommie, Die! (2003)

Revenge! Murder! LSD! Zombies! Hymen-busting! While not a horror movie in any traditional sense of the genre, Charles Busch’s Die, Mommie, Die! is an instant camp classic worthy of inclusion on any revenge-lovers list. Adapted from his stage show of the same name, Mommie tells the sordid tale of ex-pop star Angela Arden (played by Busch in gorgeous drag) and the lengths to which she will go to rid herself of her sleazy studio executive husband (Phillip Baker Hall.)

Early in the film, Angela and her husband attend a play retelling the Ancient Greek legend of femme fatale Queen Clytemnestra who allegedly (a bum rap if you ask me) murdered her husband, King Agamemnon. After the murder, Agamemnon’s children, Electra and Orestes, seek revenge on Clytemnestra for the brutal slaying of their beloved father, especially because Electra had a (cough cough) overly affectionate relationship with her father.

You’re probably thinking, “What the HELL is with the Classics Lesson, Revenge Honey?”

Well, Mommie is an obvious homage to the “woman’s films” of the 50s and 60s: high on outrageous story lines and overacting but low on subtlety. It not only takes its style from the films that made Joan Crawford and Bette Davis stars, but also it features a  plot is identical to that of the Clytemnestra/Agamemnon affair.

Natasha Lyonne stars as the Electra character, in this case, Edith, and plays both the revenge card and the creepy relationship with dear old dad role to the fullest. Every scene between Lyonne and her on-screen father is practically dripping with incest: enough to make even the most hardened horror-lover squirm. The awkwardness, however, is part of what makes Mommie so much uncomfortable fun. Just because you can watch a man get his fingernails ripped out doesn't mean you can handle a mother and daughter fighting over the pool boy or jockying for the love of their husband/father in equal queasy turns.

Realistically, if your exclusively a gore hound, Die, Mommie, Die! probably isn’t going to appeal to you. But if you like men in drag, overly-complicated revenge plots, endlessly quotable one-liners, zombie twin sisters, and Jason Priestly batting for both teams, then check out Charles Busch’s throwback homage with brilliant lines like:

"Buster, if you want any singin’ outta me, you better haul out that bratwurst and spread some mustard on it!"

I know I've used THAT line more than once. I mean... what?

American Horror Story fans: Watch for a fun performance from Frances Conroy as Bootsie Carp!

Revenge Honey Rating: 3 Well-Endowed 90210 Stars out of 5

Die, Mommie, Die! is available via Netflix DVD and DVD

Do YOU love camp classics like Die, Mommie, Die!?
Tell me on Twitter: @linnieloowho