The Horror Honeys: The Ultimate Driller Killer Thriller!

The Ultimate Driller Killer Thriller!

A Retro Review by Lisa

Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Let's be honest. What is it that you're really looking for when you watch horror movies? Don't try to tell me that it's not just T&A and blood and gore because we all know that's a big, fat lie. Well, Slumber Party Massacre is the answer to all of your horror movie prayers. If you're of a certain age, surely you remember staring in awe at the VHS cover of this movie. A gaggle of scantily clad women cower at the feet our a man wielding a HUGE power drill. The cover art alone promises so many truly wonderful things and, happily, the movie delivers on all of them.

Straight from the word go, we are greeted with a completely unnecessary boob shot while our final girl wakes up and greets the day. Like any really awesome day, this one will culminate with a slumber party and a most unwelcome guest. Yup. There is a mass murder on the loose! Now, what else would we need to see in this movie in order for it to truly be considered a horror movie? How about some of these things?

-Girls who don't wear bras

-Quintessential post gym shower scene full of boobs and butts

-Two ladies making goo-goo eyes at one another over the showers

-Boys peeking into windows at the slumber party


-Groups of girls disrobing in front of open windows

-Girls drinking, smoking pot and acting like tarts

-Jump scares


-Random appearance of an authority figure when killer begins running out of victims

-Token precocious younger sibling

-Lots of really, really red blood

-Clever murder weapon

Jackpot! Slumber Party Massacre has all of these things and more! Some truly awesome dude must have written and directed this movie, huh? Fellow horror friends, I'm about to say something that some of you already know, but some of you are about to have your mind blown. 
Slumber Party Massacre wasn't just directed by a woman, it was written by a woman as well.

Written by Rita Mae Brown and directed by Amy Holden Jones, Slumber Party Massacre was originally titled Sleepless Nights. An author and feminist activist, Brown wrote this to be a parody of the bimbo/slasher genre. The producers of the film, however, took some liberty with their rewrites and decided that it should be filmed in complete seriousness. The result ends up being a true horror classic that still has many moments of humor.

The killer, especially, brings the most laughs. After loading up a car trunk with dead bodies, he is, understandably, exhausted and takes a nap. On the floor. With his drill. This guy is so cray-cray, he doesn't even bother to kill everyone still remaining in the house. The house he got into by just climbing through a window. Seriously, did no one have screens on their windows in the 80's? And why bother locking all of the doors if you're still going to leave the windows open? Anyway, his nap is interrupted by people still being alive and we finally learn why he's doing what he doing. Because he loves these girls. He explains that they are very pretty, he loves them and it takes a lot of love to do this to a person. All of this is said in a strange whispering voice while dude keeps the same crazy eye stare. Imagine Bob from Twin Peaks speaking to Voldermort in Parseltongue and you get a pretty good idea. 

Despite being presented as a non comedy, it's basically impossible to not see the intended humor running throughout the film. The refrigerator scene, in particular, gives us a glimpse of what a fine parody this could have been. Thankfully, it's still very fun to watch and even works well on the horror level. Slumber Party Massacre is certainly not the best movie you will ever see, perhaps not even a good movie, but it is fun and you've got to applaud the killer for utilizing the most blatantly phallic murder weapon of all time. 

I'm going to DRILL you... GET IT!?!