The Horror Honeys: What Would the World Be Without Manners?

What Would the World Be Without Manners?

A Begrudgingly Glowing Review by Revenge Honey Linnie

Miss Meadows (2014)

Once upon a time, I had a... let's just call it an "incident" with Katie Holmes. It was one of those things that is want to happen when you live in a filmmaking city. Ever since, I haven't been her biggest fan. But, during her "Prisoner of Xenu" years, I began to soften to her because, let's face it, you can't hold a grudge against a woman in a perpetual hostage situation. So when Head Honey Kat and I first saw the trailer for Karen Leigh Hopkins' Miss Meadows, Kat was 100% on board and I was just annoyed that Katie Holmes was starring in something I was desperate to see. Now that I have officially seen Miss Meadows, I can say with utmost certainty...

Shaking loose that pint-sized ball and chain was the best decision Holmes ever made. Miss Meadows was a fucking delight.

"If others need what I can spare, I must with them my treasures share."

Gloves: a fashion statement AND a great way to hide prints!
The Story: When we first meet Mary Meadows (Holmes), she is literally tap dancing down the sidewalk, reading a book of poetry, chatting with bluebirds, and looking every bit the darling 50s cherub. Except this isn't the 1950s, and a man in a truck pulls up along side Miss Meadows with gun, telling her to get in... or else. But Miss Meadows is no victim, and the man meets his end by way of Mary's shiny silver purse pistol. And this opening scene sets the tone for the rest of the film: Miss Mary Meadows is a Mary Poppins by day, teaching children to be on their best manners, and by night, those who hurt children should beware the sound of tap shoes in the distance.

Miss Meadows is a film that all hinges on Katie Holmes's performance and whether or not you have a high tolerance for twee. The film is an odd combination of love story, Norman Bates-style psychosis, and badass female vigilantism. Others found it overwrought and tone deaf, but I loved finally having the opportunity to watch a revenge film that wasn't a constant onslaught of misery. Miss Meadows may find her first love in the course of shooting murderers and pedophiles, but female serial killers deserve love too, don't they?

"Ma'am, I pulled you over for adorably conversing with that frog."

Miss Meadows speaks mostly in little rhymes about manners and proper English, she giggles when she has sex with the Sheriff who becomes her boyfriend, she lovingly tends to her garden and talks to every animal she meets, but when she learns a child molester has moved into her neighborhood, she takes it upon herself to let him know he's not welcome. Is Miss Meadows a bit like Zooey Deschanel tried to make a horror movie by co-writing it with her ukelele? Yup. But I still enjoyed the hell out of it.

The question is, will YOU like Miss Meadows? I think it's going to be hit or miss with hardcore horror fans. My suggestion is take what I've said, watch the trailer below, and then decide for yourself. But for my money, I'm happy to occasionally watch a revenge film that doesn't make me want to die when I press "stop." Maybe Miss Meadows can do that for you too.

Revenge Honey Rating: 5 Tap Dancing Vigilantes out of 5

Miss Meadows is available on iTunes, Netflix DiscAmazon Instant Video, YouTube Video, and now on DVD