The Horror Honeys: Tits and Gore and... Snail Women? I LIKE IT!

Tits and Gore and... Snail Women? I LIKE IT!

A Revenge Honey WiHM Classic Review by Linnie

Tokyo Gore Police (2008)

Like most countries, Japan releases a wide range of genre films, from the supernatural (Ju-on) to cyber-punk body horror (Tetsuo: The Iron Man) and whatever the hell Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead is supposed to be, other than awful. I'm not a huge fan of Takashi Miike (outside of Audition), but I appreciate his style and willingness to challenge the authority in Japan. I hate horror anime (sorry, not sorry), and often find the supernatural films to be derivative in theme. So outside of their body horror, I am not one that is drawn to the horror films of Japan.

With all of that being said... I fucking love Tokyo Gore Police, and it's my pick for this week's classic revenge film with a literal ass-kicking female lead. So join me, if you dare, down the absolutely insane road that is TGP.

If it isn't clear from the title, there will be copious amounts of gore ahead, darklings.

I've met police dispatchers... this is not what they looked like.
The Story: Ruka (Eihi Shiina) is an elite hunter working for a fully-privatized police force in Tokyo. What is Ruka hunting, you ask: Engineers, a breed of tumor-infested humans who can turn any injury into a mutated weapon. The Engineers are psychotic and homicidal, and Ruka, who's father was a police officer himself prior to the privatization of the force, is a master with her sword and the only woman (or man for that matter) with the skill to take down the Engineers. But in a dystopian future where self-mutilation is a fashion statement, propaganda is endless, and even the police are rarely what they seem, Ruka quickly finds that the only person she can trust is herself.

It's like Spongebob's sex dream...
First off, it has to be said that generally, I loathe dubbing. I'd rather watch subtitles than lack of voice/mouth coordination. But in TGP, the really over-the-top dubbing totally works. It gives the whole film a Starship Troopers-esque, pulpy quality that I love, and the addition of the gorgeous neons of Tokyo only make it that much more obscenely fun. I'm sure you can watch this movie with subtitles, but on this rare occasion, I suggest going with the dubbing and having yourself a good time.

If I have to go out, I hope it's getting eating by girl with alligator legs.
Anyway. In a film with a name like Tokyo Gore Police, I'm sure you could assume that the blood and guts would senseless. And at times, they are. But they are never anything less than beautiful. The gore, the practical makeup FX, the literal buckets of blood, they're all expertly done. And while the two-hour run time might eventually overwhelm those who aren't true gore-o-philes, this is truly a film that is all about the journey and not necessarily the destination.

Just because you're getting soaked in blood, doesn't mean you can't look
like a lady.
And Ruka is the absolute best leader you could have through a journey that at many times, makes little to no sense. Played by Shiina, best known as Asami in Audition, Ruka is not only amazing with her samurai sword, but she is an exceptionally smart police officer. The plots involving conspiracies and cover-ups, the consistent onslaught of hilariously twisted commercials for life in the "new" Tokyo... Were it not for Ruka and Shiina's measured performance throughout, the movie could easily become ridiculously overwhelming. And for a lot of people, it will. But Ruka is such a badass beauty that you will be with her every step of the way.

Everyone has their own taste in prostitute I suppose.
Tokyo Gore Police is, obviously, not for everyone. All you have to do is look at the pictures in this review to know whether or not you'd be into it. But I adore it. Ruka is a lethal, revenge seeking-machine, and I would have loved to have seen this film turned into a series. I'm still holding out hope!

Revenge Honey Rating: 4 Cybernetic Eyes out of 5

Tokyo Gore Police is available on Hulu, Netflix DVD, YouTube Rental, and DVD