The Horror Honeys: Spooky Kids Saturday Creature Feature with Suzanne!

Spooky Kids Saturday Creature Feature with Suzanne!

Sssssss (1973)

Here at The Horror Honeys, Saturday is a time to reflect on our childhoods. When I was a kid, after Saturday morning cartoons and chores, the family always made a trip to my grandparents’ house. They had cable, which allowed me to watch stuff I probably shouldn’t have while the adults were playing cards in the kitchen. Thus, my love for vampires, werewolves, and other scary things evolved. With that I bring you my Saturday Creature Feature and say, welcome to my childhood!

My first entry is a little movie called Sssssss

Dr. Carl Stoner (Strother Martin) and his daughter, Kristina (Heather Menzies), run a reptile research and rehabilitation operation. Dr. Stoner hires college student, David Blake (Dirk Benedict), as a lab assistant. David moves in with the Stoners and quickly begins to fall in love with Kristina. Unfortunately, this isn’t something that pleases Dr. Stoner. The good doctor begins a series of inoculations on David. He claims they are to build up resistance to snake venom, but the side effects are transforming. The good doctor has been working on a serum to turn man into snake!

Kermit says, "Meth is a hell of a drug, kids."
The doctor also uses his army of snakes to take down anyone who challenges him or questions his methods. The different deaths by snake are pretty brutal, but let’s face it, snakes are super cool.

Hehehehe, they're Stoners. Hehehe.
Not being able to rely on CG, this film uses real venomous snakes, which the cast did have to interact with, and practical effects. The only truly bad effect is during a skinny dipping scene. As David and Kristina undress for a little love swim, leaves and branches were superimposed over their bits and pieces. I originally thought this was for the TV version, but I actually own this film and the leaves are still there. Apparently, this was to get a more family friendly PG rating.

Sssssss, one of the dumbest titles ever, was released in 1973 as a double feature with, a movie I’ve never seen, The Boy Who Cried Werewolf. I clearly remember seeing the ads before it played on TV and being super excited about a snake movie. I was one of those kids who would bring home stray creatures, which included frogs, toads, and snakes, much to my mother’s horror. My mother is so terrified of snakes, she forbid me to watch it. Somehow, I worked it out so I could spend the night at my grandparents,' who were willing to give me control of the television.

Snakes love organic chicken broth.
While this film is seriously dated, the use of real animals does make it special. Personally, it’s something special because of the vivid memories attached, especially, watching with my grandmother, who was the most important person in my life and, obviously, the coolest because she was willing to indulge her creepy granddaughter.