The Horror Honeys: Hope They Never MEET... Pray They Never MATE.

Hope They Never MEET... Pray They Never MATE.

A Sci-Fi Honey 1.0 Review by Jen

Species 2 (1998)

I’d like to start off my review of Species 2 on a positive note: I’ve managed to watch and review a movie that’s only 15 years old, a full decade less than my average of late, so I’m making forward progress. At this rate I should be up to 2005 in no time. High Five!

So, what is this movie about anyway?, you may ask.

Well, let’s see. Two years after the events of Species, the first film in this esteemed series, an American space mission lands on Mars, and collects soil samples. Back on the ship, the temperature on the ship thaws frozen DNA in the soil samples, which then makes a run (if green-brown slime can run) for the cockpit in an attempt to infect the astronauts. The mission safely returns to earth. It seems.

Meanwhile, back on earth, scientists have created a more docile clone of the female alien ‘Sil’ from the first message, named Eve (again played by Natasha Henstridge), in an effort to understand the alien life form and prepare for defense should it ever arrive on earth.  Do you think it might?? Stay tuned!

After their return, the three astronauts are examined and quarantined to prevent them from engaging in sex for ten days, as I’m sure all Astronauts are (???) . However, one of the astronauts, Patrick Ross (whom I affectionately refer to as ‘Astroboy’), immediately disregards the advice and sleeps with two women that night. Shenanigans ensue. 

In Species 2 there are alien babies hanging off the ceiling in cocoons like chandeliers, horrific dialogue, special effects that my nephew can top on his iPad, wooden acting, a super slow police chase to obviously allow someone to escape for plot advancement, tentacle hentai, a cringe-worthy slow-mo run by Natasha Henstridge a-la-Baywatch, and it has more helicopters in it than a whole season of The Bachelor. The climax (har har har) is an alien sex scene culminating in death by Alien BJ. 

'Cause hey, who wouldn't want to knock boots
with this lovely lady, amirite?

The Sci-Fi Honey Lowdown: Let’s face it.  The only reason this movie exists is so that Astroboy can get naked with Natasha Henstridge who, while not the best actress on the planet(s), is a good looking girl and pretty much what made the original Species worth watching. But even her boobs and a handsome if mediocre actor playing Astroboy can’t save this movie from Death by Weird Alien Sex.

But...but this is what you were watching the movie for!!

I really can’t sugar coat it. This movie is terrible. Really, truly terrible.

Sci-Fi Honey Rating: I give this movie 0.5 of an Alien Baby Chandelier out of 5. I’d give it a zero, but I want at least half an Alien Baby Chandelier to come out of this, because they were the highlight of the movie for me.