The Horror Honeys: Honey Buzz: Another HALLOWEEN remake? Slasher Honey says NO.

Honey Buzz: Another HALLOWEEN remake? Slasher Honey says NO.

Slasher Honey Says by Chassity

A Word On Making Up Meanings of Words: A Halloween “Recalibration”

According to multiple sources, a new Halloween film is in the works. As a slasher fan, and as a lover of Michael Meyers, I was thrilled at the possibilities. Add to that the news of it being a Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan film, and that could very well have made it the most exciting horror news of the year for me. 

If those names aren’t familiar to you, it’s probably because you’re not a fan of the Saw films. This pairing is best known for having written the last four films in that franchise. That would probably give a lot of people, even Saw fans, pause, as their resume includes the worst two movies in the franchise. But here’s the thing that people forget, they also wrote what was generally held to be one of the best films in the franchise, outside the original. 

More than that, Melton and Dunstan also brought us The Collector and The Collection. These are two of the better horror films I’ve seen in the last ten years, and are among the rare original slasher films to come out of the last ten years, a time when everything coming out has been all about homages and remaking. 

All this to say that, while somewhat unknown, they’ve already proven that they have the potential to write a great movie with great endings (I’m looking at you, The Collector and Saw VI). And, let’s face it, anything they could come up with has got to be better than the disaster that was Rob Zombie’s Halloween reboots… right?

But then I actually read up on this news, and I instantly lost any feelings of excitement I’d previously had. The only real information we have so far is that it’s going to be a “recalibration.” Really? 

What the hell does that even mean? 

I’ll tell you what it means. It means that this film is not going to be another installment in the franchise (which is a bad thing), and that it’s just a reboot/remake disguised under another name that’s going to pretend like Rob Zombie’s Halloween movies don’t exist (good thing). 
Which begs the question, why not just call it what it is: a reboot. Simple answer? Because no one wants to admit they’re making a reboot or remake because they know that most of us are way past tired of this same old rehash crap. 

And that, in a nutshell, is why, despite how excited I want to be about this, I am a little bit upset. You can come up with a pseudo clever way to disguise the fact that you’ve signed on for a remake; why not put all that creativity into coming up with an original slasher, or any original horror film for that matter? Have filmmakers really exhausted every single original slasher idea there is? We’re just going to keep rehashing old Jason/Michael/Freddy/Leatherface territory? That’s what the subgenre is going to be, now? 

This Honey would be super stoked for any fresh Melton/Dunstan slasher, because originality is where they shine. As I said, I’d even support them if they wanted to add their own standalone film to the list of installments, because this franchise isn’t in any way straightforward and some of the films have nothing to do with the overall backstory, or each other. But having them come in and do a Halloween re-anything film when they’ve already shown that they’ve had a shaky time tackling other people’s material? No. If you want to reboot a movie that has more of a cult following, or is otherwise lesser known? Um…maaaybeee? But you want to remake, reboot, or recalibrate a classic film in a classic franchise that even Rob Zombie screwed up? No. Just no.