The Horror Honeys: Girl Gamer Review ~ Dudebros, Zombies... and More Dudebros.

Girl Gamer Review ~ Dudebros, Zombies... and More Dudebros.


A Zombie Survival Game Review from Revenge Honey Linnie

GameDead Island: Riptide
Release Date: April 23, 2013
Developer: Techland
Publisher: Deep Silver
Platforms: Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Steam
Genre: Action RPG, Zombie Survival

There is no question that I love me some RPG gaming, even more so when it involves survival games. But I HATE zombie games. For the most part, I find that unless they have an exceptional storyline (like Grim Fandango), they all feel really derivative. But as a member of Xbox Gold (an elite club populated by anyone willing to give Sony $50 a year... grumble), sometimes I get deals on games that are too good to pass up. But as this week's game proved...

Sometimes I should try harder.

First off, I've never played any of the other games in the Dead Island series, but the one thing I did remember was some controversy that surrounded the release of Riptide. Apparently, someone in the European branch of Deep Silver thought it would be HILARIOUS to release a Special Edition of the game that included the following statue:

Yeaaaaaaaaah.
Even the American branch, the AMERICANS, said, "Woah! Dudes! Bad idea!" But the SE launch wasn't cancelled and there was an almost universal outcry from the gaming community denouncing the tacky promotional tool. Because women don't need heads or legs or arms. We're just tits. Obviously.


Anyway. I tried to go into the game without any preconceived notions based on the dudebro marketing, but, shockingnotshocking, the game went ahead and delivered exactly what you'd expect from the people who thought that statue was funny.

The Story: Riptide picks up where Dead Island left off, with four immune survivors trying to escape a zombie outbreak. The plot begins on a military ship and progresses from there, with the survivors trying to navigate a post-zombie pandemic Caribbean environment (providing for plenty of zombies in bikinis). You choose which of four characters you play: Ex-football player Logan, rapper Sam B, Chinese police officer/resort employee Xian Mei, or half-Aboriginal bodyguard Purna. The men are fully clothed, and the women look like back-up dancers for Beyonce, but I chose to play as Purna. Imagine my surprise when I looked at the promotional materials for Riptide versus my game character.

Promotional Purna...
Gameplay Purna... one of these ladies is not like the other?

Which leads us to...

The Graphics: They're simultaneously awful and intriguing. The facial expressions on the characters are really awkward, and the mouths rarely synch up with the dialogue. The zombies all blend, and it's obvious after a while that they're the same several zombies over and over. However, the scenery is gorgeous. After many hours of gameplay, I basically stopped paying attention to the game and just focused on how much I missed being in Jamaica. THANKS A LOT, RIPTIDE!

Gameplay: I am admittedly a slash, stab, KILL ALL THE THINGS, kind of game player. Riptide isn't remotely conducive to that kind of gameplay. You run out of energy quickly, your weapons degrade before you've remotely finished off one horde, and you never. Stop. Dying. I got frustrated with all of this fast, but I can see how it might appeal to some gamers. I'm just not one of them.

Co-Op Gameplay: Just like in real life, other people ruin everything. Just so I could report back, I allowed myself to get sucked into a group play situation, and it sucked. Because there are only four playable characters, unlike in other RPG games, I was in a co-op play with two other versions of my own character and it felt like some weird, Twilight Zone situation. I was also forced to listen to strangers blither through their mics in the background. Did I mention I don't like people?

Final Verdict: No. Just. No. I want my $4.50 back. If you're a bro who likes zombie tits, then knock yourself out. But I regret even trying this game.

Revenge Honey Gamer Rating: 1 Half-Nude Female RPG Character out of 5