The Horror Honeys: Friday Favorites: The Shitty Luck of the Final Girl

Friday Favorites: The Shitty Luck of the Final Girl




The final girl: this is a horror trope that seems tailor-made for some Horror Honey love, right? A badass chick manages to survive all the way to the end of a horror film, even as her mostly blonde and mostly stupid and mostly horny friends are dying all around her. She may have lost a limb or two or four and she may be a few quarts low on blood, but by Godzilla, she will limp into the police station triumphantly where it is almost guaranteed that some backwoods yahoo will either be related to the killer or won't believe our heroine and will probably have her locked up as a crazy.

Wait... that sounds fucking awful!

That's right. Being a final girl SUCKS. Just because you managed to escape Jason's machete or Leatherface's chainsaw, it doesn't mean life is now rose petals and massages from Channing Tatum. In fact, most of our favorite final girls just end up sucked into sequels where they are forced to run and scream and stab for a second time. So this week, the Horror Honeys has compiled a list of their favorite final girls with supremely shitty luck.

Do you have a favorite final girl who got a raw deal? Let us know on Twitter, using #finalgirl!

Head Honey - Marilyn Burns as Sally Hardesty in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She looks happy to be alive! That's happy... right? 

Revenge HoneyAmy Irving as Sue Snell in Carrie
Because who doesn't want to live when all of your friends are dead
& you're being attacked nightly in your dreams? 

Supernatural Honey - Olivia Hussey as Jess Bradford in Black Christmas (1974)
But at least she didn't get stabbed in the eye with a unicorn, amiright?

Sci-Fi Honey Jen - Winona Ryder as Veronica in Heathers
You've got a little something on your... everything.

Sci-Fi Honey 2.0 Katie - Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode in Halloween
Have fun running from THAT guy for the next 20 years, honey.

Hardcover Honey - Sarah Polley as Ana in Dawn of the Dead (2004)
If you're making this face 15 minutes into the movie, things aren't looking too bright for
two hours from now.

Gamer Honey - Angela Goethals as Taylor Gentry in Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon
But not everyone makes it to that second part, dear.

Horror TV Honey Lisa - C├ęcile De France as Marie in High Tension
Nothing says love like gooey blood kisses from a schizophrenic!

Slasher Honey Chassity - Sharni Vinson as Erin in You're Next
That's the face of a woman who is over your bullshit.