The Horror Honeys: Thelma & Louise? More Like Dumb & Dumber.

Thelma & Louise? More Like Dumb & Dumber.

A Revenge Honey "Eye Roll Gif" Review by Linnie

The Scarehouse (2014)

Much like our beloved Slasher Honey Chassity's recent experience with Nurse 3D, I went into Gavin Michael Booth's The Scarehouse with semi-elevated expectations. The movie had been recommended to me by Shannon, our Comics Honey, and it was the first true revenge horror film I've had the opportunity to see in 2015. Unfortunately, before I began watching, I noticed the film's taglines:

Revenge is a bitch.


Really mean girls go all the way.

Settle in, Stab-bees. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

This warning goes for the audience as well, & you shouldn't dare.
The Plot: Two friends, Corey and Elaina, have put together an elaborate scarehouse on Devil's Night that is actually a front for luring their former sorority sisters in for murderous revenge. Why are they seeking revenge, you may ask? Because during rush week, the women "made" them roofy a frat boy and he ended up dying. Corey and Elaina spent two years in prison for involuntary manslaughter while the other girls didn't suffer any consequences. So one by one, the two women kill the sorority girls in increasingly elaborate and degrading ways. 

But let's just linger on one fact for a second before we continue. Corey and Elaina are pissed because the sorority girls forced them to drug the guy. They made them do it. The two girls had no choice in the world but to go to this guy's room, dope him, put him in a dress, and write the word "slut" above his bed in lipstick. And their claim is that the sorority framed them for the death.

How wonderful it must be to live in a world where personal accountability isn't a thing.
So one after the other, the sorority girls show up and get killed in ways that a dudebro would find absolutely hilarious. First, a supposed anorexic (with a perfect curvy shape and MASSIVE tits, when a simple google search would show what a real anorexic looks like) is squeezed to death by the laces of her corset. 

Later, another girl is strung up with the word "slut" written above her in lipstick (with ZERO credence given to the fact that Corey and Elaina were the ones who did that to the dead frat boy), as her eyelashes are torn out, her nipples cut off, her fake boobs removed, and finally, she is choked to death on her silicone implants. Because that is definitely something women would do to each other.

And of course, two of the sorority girls are given pillows filled with powdered acid (okaaaay?) and it's only minutes before they're angrily going at each other in a pillow fight, regardless of the fact that they both KNOW the pillows are loaded with the acid. You know, as you do.

In the end, it's the sorority president, a preacher's daughter, who must face the ultimate ire of this bargain basement Thelma and Louise. As Prez spends some time sitting in a bathtub in a wet nightie with her hands taped to a hair dryer over head, we get to listen to her spout self-serving bible verse to explain away the other girls' involvement in the prank. And while, yes, legally, the others are culpable for giving Corey and Elaina the drugs that killed the frat boy, they never would have done the same amount of time as the two girls. But while I was busy doing this,

The next thing I knew, Corey was picking up a GIANT television and throwing it at the Prez in the tub, who then fell backward and proceeded to flop around, getting electrocuted... she flopped and bounced and spazzed with a MASSIVE television on top of her. I actually saw the TV bounce into the air a few times. Since it was so heavy and all.

I literally can't talk about this movie anymore and I'm almost out of eye roll gifs. The Scarehouse is an attempt at a female empowerment film that actually sets women in the horror genre back. While I appreciate that women were involved in the film's production, I can't help but be that much more disappointed that it wasn't... better. More. That it didn't find a way to take an interesting concept and go deeper with it, rather than just devolve into typical male fantasies of what women do (and would do) when they're alone. Wanting more and getting the absolute least is the ultimate disappointment.

Revenge Honey Rating: 1 Dudebro Fistbump out of 5
(the filmmakers have gained a point for being generous & cool even though they
knew I didn't like their film. This rarely happens and is greatly appreciated. 
Other filmmakers? Take note.)

The Scarehouse is available on iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Google Play, YouTube Rental, & VOD