The Horror Honeys: Posers, Objectification, and the Worst Slasher Ever...

Posers, Objectification, and the Worst Slasher Ever...

A Slasher Honey Rant by Chassity


A short time ago, I talked about my feelings regarding See No Evil 2 and why Jacob Goodnight had become my favorite slasher. 

I never thought that I’d have a least favorite. As a hardcore fan, asking me to pick a slasher I didn’t like, or even one I liked the less than the rest would be like asking someone to choose between their own children. Enter the movie Nurse 3D. Now, some would probably fight me on whether or not this is even a slasher, but in my book, it totally is. 

The premise was one that, as a feminist, I could totally get behind. A badass woman goes around eliminating the population of cheating, womanizing, misogynistic men in a swarm of revenge-y murders? Um, yes, please. But, as you’ll know if you’ve seen this movie, or if you’ve read Revenge Honey Linnie’s take on it (which, trust me, save yourself some time and read that, because it’s definitely the better choice between the two), that is not what this movie is at all. 

Because instead of being any kind of empowerment film or a takedown of men who disregard women as sexual objects, it becomes exactly what its' "heroine," Abby Russell, is supposed to be fighting against: a male fantasy about the female body and the sexualization of women, disguised as a horror film.

EMPOWERMENT!

And that, among other things, is what makes Abby Russell the worst slasher I’ve ever seen. 
The best way to explain this is to describe what makes a good villain, and how Abby is ultimately the antithesis of this.

Um... did you need to be in your bra to kill him? Yeah? Okay then.
Slashers need no reason. It’s been said before, and then repeated ad nauseam: movies and killers are always scarier when we don’t know the why. Backstory, though more and more popular in horror flicks, mostly detracts from, and rarely helps the film. You can never scare someone more by telling them why the killer is doing what they do. The best slashers are scary in that they kill “just because." Giving Abby a method to her madness, from the very beginning of the film, just humanizes her. Failure on the first count.

Slashers need to be unemotional. Abby, on the other hand, is too emotional. Often throughout the movie, her goal of murdering men who treat women like crap is given a backseat while Abby deals with her crushed feelings. Because, after all, she’s a woman. And no matter how many gains we make in overcoming stereotypes, there will always be those that can never be convinced that women are driven by more than our emotions, or that women can be rational even when we get hurt. 

But that’s the thing of it. Abby isn’t rational. She is, in fact, completely irrational. Which would be fine if she wasn’t trying to be a vigilante, and if her whole motive wasn’t supposed to be revenge. Based on the motive we are given, you could initially believe that Abby will be one of those cool slashers we can actually root for because she’s seeking some kind of justice. But she isn’t. She’s a heartless predator by the end of it all. 

WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING UNDERWEAR? WHY? WHHHHY?

Slashers actually need to be somewhat dehumanized. There is a reason why the most famous of their rank are those who fall into the category of the “strong, silent type." Abby fails here, too. She is extremely human, she talks too damn much, and half the time she’s borderline giving herself away with everything she says. 

More and more movie slashers, when given a backstory, are all a bit of an underdog. They have obstacles that they have overcome. It’s what makes them almost sympathetic, otherwise, there’d be no point to giving them a backstory. But Abby is a woman that you can tell is used to getting what she wants. It’s why she freaks out when she doesn’t get her way. She is beautiful, and she uses her sexuality to her advantage. It’s sickening, and it’s what makes her less of a slasher and more of a walking stereotype that women like me hate. 

On the other hand, slashers are also supposed to be strong. Rare is the villain who can embrace their own pain and still be scary. Abby not only claims to have this pain, but presents herself as victim of it. You can’t root for someone who goes from getting back at people who hurt others, to inflicting torture on anyone who stands in her way or dares to upset her. 

Why can't she just have her own movie? Can we do that?

And that is why I ultimately call bullshit on Abby’s potential as a slasher, and on the entire movie. Now that I’ve thought about it, maybe Abby is no slasher. Or maybe she is, but in a way that insults those that came before her. She’s an evil force who poses as a vigilante but is merely a bi-sexual who becomes obsessed with another nurse and puts said nurse (and everyone in her life) through hell before killing them all one by one. 

So far, two Honeys vote NO on Abby Russell.
Abby’s a wannabe. She’s a “slasher” in a softcore porn straight from every man’s fantasy, with a little violence thrown in. She is a character who can best be described as an adult film actress who finds herself in the world of a movie like Hostel, and just decided to go with it. 

Her whole existence is just a cover for a film about one woman in a creepy unrequited love triangle with another. Because she uses her sexuality to draw in men who are borderline sex addicts, she is little more than an excuse for one and a half hours of female nudity. Why does she have to be naked all the damn time? We get it, Abby. You’re sexy, you know it, and you think you should get whatever you want because you’re sexy. Which is why you kill anyone who doesn’t go along with that. 

Because idiot cops will buy your alibi on the off chance that you’ll sleep with them and that’s all that matters to the men in this Nurse 3D

Bullshit on the entire thing. 

For the Revenge Honey's take on Nurse 3D,  follow the ranting rabbit this way...