The Horror Honeys: If the Glove Doesn’t Fit…

If the Glove Doesn’t Fit…

A Supernatural Honey "I've Done This Before" Review by Suzanne

The Devil’s Hand (2014)

When I was in my teens, my parents decided to switch things up from our yearly excursions to Disney World and take us to super fun Lancaster, PA so we could immerse ourselves in all things Amish. I’m fairly certain my chronic migraines are a result of rolling my eyeballs too far back in my head every time these vacations were discussed. I never really understood the fascination with these communities. We lived in the country in upstate NY. We could stay home and smell cow shit. 

Besides the lack of modern household conveniences, the religious zealotry never sat well with me. I got my fair share of that growing up Catholic.

Enter The Devil’s Hand or Where the Devil Hides, both titles are pretty unimaginative. You’d think I’d know better than to watch anything with the word “Devil” in the title. That’s setting me up for failure.

In the Amish-like community of New Bethlehem, a prophecy foretells the birth of six girls on the 6th of June (666, get it?). Should the girls make it to their 18th birthdays, one of them will become the Devil’s hand. On the night of the births, Elder Beacon (Colm Meaney) plans to kill all the babies to prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled. He is stopped by one of the girls’ father, Jacob Brown (Rufus Sewell), but one of the mothers takes matters into her own hands and kills her baby and herself.

Rufus Sewell: the one redeeming quality in most bad horror films.
That's a lot of... pale.
Flash forward to a week or so before the 18th birthdays of the remaining five girls who are all, predictably, best friends. Like any typical horror ensemble, even in a religious sect, we have roles to fulfill. Mary (Alycia Debnam Carey) is the smart, sensible one. Abby (Katie Garfield) is the rebellious one. Sarah (Leah Pipes) is the devout one. Ruth (Adelaide Kane) is the nervous one. Lastly, we have Hannah (Nicole Elliott), the one who makes no impression whatsoever, which is why she’s the first to go.

A mysterious figure in a black cloak begins to dispatch the girls. Upon the discovery of the deaths of two of their number, the remaining girls point their fingers in the direction of Elder Beacon, although, until the first girl goes missing, none of them are aware of the controversy surrounding them.

Shoot for the moon, Deb. Shoot for the moon.
Mary is prone to epileptic-type fits and has visions, which further perpetuates the demon theory to the elders. Her father, Jacob, does his best to understand her and protect her, especially from the suspicious and watchful eye of her stepmother, Rebekah (Jennifer Carpenter). She meets and falls for a local boy, Trevor, who tries to aid her in finding answers before they all end up dead.

There are a few moments of greatness over the course of the compact 86 minutes. The scene where the first girl, Hannah, is chased through the woods and killed was my favorite scene in the entire film. Atmospherically, it reminded me of the British films from the 60s which I love so much. Colm Meany, who is a brilliant character actor, must have been doing someone a favor to appear in this film because he’s better than this, but he still acted his little Irish heart out. His portrayal of the religious zealot and creepy pervert was perfection.

"God likes when you kill teenage girls! Says so right here!"
Carrie... if she'd ducked the bucket.
The girls all played their respective parts with no real issue, but none stood out. Even final girl Mary blended into the background. I wish someone would encourage Jennifer Carpenter to take an acting class or, at the very least, teach her how to move her face. Her role in the movie was small, but for the love of Pete, it’s like she’s acting through a mask.

There is a twist at the end, involving Mary’s mother who, contrary to what Mary was told, did not die, but was shunned (that’s not the twist so don’t yell at me for spoiling it). It’s clever, but a little anti-climactic.

If you’re a teenage girl or have the sensibility of one, this film will probably appeal to you. For me, I once again walk away with very little feels other than the grief over wasting my money. *sigh*

Supernatural Honey Verdict: 2 sanctimonious pricks out of 5

The Devil's Hand is available on iTunes, Netflix DVDAmazon Instant Video, YouTube VOD, & DVD