The Horror Honeys: He's Making a List... Pray You're Not on It!

He's Making a List... Pray You're Not on It!

The Revenge Honey's Take on Santa's Slay (2005)
The Revenge Honey
When it comes to holiday horror, I often find that some of my favorites are also some of the worst. That is most DEFINITELY true when it comes to David Steiman's Santa's Slay. Part of defending one of the best revenge, evil-Santa played by a Jewish wrestler Christmas movies ever (okay, fine, it's the only one) is admitting something to all you Honey-lovers out there...

I frigging love the holiday season and I don't care who knows it!

Most every other Honey.
This sets me apart from the other Honeys in that when Christmas lights start twinkling in mid-September, yes, I'm annoyed by the Christmas Creep, but I also begin my attempts at containing my child-like glee about all things sparkly and sprinkled and snowy. The other Honeys may run screaming bloody murder from the Holiday season, but I body check it with all the giddiness of a cracked-out Hanukkah Mensch. Bury me in gingerbread and bubble lights AND ALL FRIGGING 24 HOURS OF A CHRISTMAS STORY ON TBS! I will relish every second. So when a movie comes along that combines my love of all things gory with my love of all things tinselly, I get insanely excited.

Prior to 2005 (and in fact, very recently as I only just discovered the awesomeness that is Santa's Slay), my holiday horror buffet was limited to the original Black Christmas, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, and if I was desperate, Silent Night, Deadly Night.

*Revenge Honey Note: I didn't include The Nightmare Before Christmas in this list because I watch the shit out of that movie all year long. It's not solely a holiday movie for me.


Don't even pretend that isn't one of the best
things you've seen in your life.
So, when I was introduced to Santa's Slay by my day job, it brilliantly combined all of my favorite things: The holidays, my Jewish heritage in wrestler Bill Goldberg, revenge perpetrated by a pissed off Santa sick of being nice to kids, and a completely nonsensical slaughter scene where Fran Drescher gets set on fire. (Okay, I didn't know that was one of my favorite things before, but it is now.) When you sit down to watch Santa's Slay, you know exactly what you're getting in to; Citizen Kane it is not. And really, who besides a family of pipe-smoking, sherry-drinking hipster elitists watches Citizen Kane at Christmas anyway?

Santa's Slay is a ludicrous, hilarious, irreverent, twisted, and completely self-aware piece of holiday trash, and that is what makes it such ridiculous fun to watch. I'll admit that it's probably not a film for everyone, but it has quickly become one of my favorite ways to spend a cold winter evening, welcoming in the holiday.

And for the record, a little eggnog won't hurt your viewing experience.

Revenge Honey Rating: 4 & 1/2 awkwardly on fire family dinners out of 5
HA! Jewish meta humor.

Santa's Slay is available via iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, YouTube VOD, Vudu, Google Play, & DVD

Do you like your Santa just a little bit stabby?
Tell Linnie on Twitter: @linnieloowho