The Horror Honeys: Some People Just Deserve a Thousand Cuts...

Some People Just Deserve a Thousand Cuts...

A Revenge Honey Review


A Thousand Cuts (2012)

Let's be honest with each other, darling Stab-Bees, because this is a safe space. Every so often, we all come across a horror director that we really just want punch in the dick. Hell, I've even created an alter-ego for myself, a superhero of sorts, named Dick Puncher, who just goes around punching guys in the dick that I don't like. However, there has as yet been a film made (that wasn't some sort of fetish porn), that features anything on par with my beloved DP. BUT, I recently discovered the next best thing, and that is Charles Evered's A Thousand Cuts.

The Story: Lance Ross, Hollywood's hottest horror director, is having a party to revel in the excess that comes with being a douchey Hollywood douchecanoe. But shortly after the party ends, an uninvited guest takes Lance hostage, intent on teaching him some lessons about what real horror looks like. Can Lance face the real-life repercussions that come from manufacturing gore for a living?

When I began watching A Thousand Cuts, I had suspicions about which director could have inspired the character of Lance Ross, and my suspicions were confirmed fairly early when the real director was name-dropped in a decidedly negative way. However, what I assumed was going to be a one-note torture film about some spurned screenwriter sticking it to an arrogant director actually turned out to be a fascinating commentary on the responsibility of artists to face the consequences of their art.

Who knew?

The actual story at the heart of A Thousand Cuts focuses on the father of a young girl who was the victim of a copy cat murderer, inspired by Ross's horror films. When Ross doesn't express proper remorse via the press for his role in the death, daddy decides to take a little revenge of his own. Michael O'Keefe, a character actor whom I happen to adore, plays Frank, the father with the grudge, and he does so quite effectively. I loved the perspective that the film took, in that it quite literally forced the mind behind film violence to confront the real-world effects of their films. It helped that Michael A. Newcomer (is that really his name? I mean... really?) as Ross is so believable as well. He plausibly played up a guy that is sliding by on arrogance until he's forced to face his own mortality and culpability. It was a really great character that I fully appreciated.

While I loved the idea behind A Thousand Cuts, it wasn't actually a fully realized one. The movie definitely reached out in an attempt to ask the big questions, but it eventually devolved into a cat and mouse caper involving the director's sister and a semi-predictable setup that really took me out of the moment. Additionally, the ending of A Thousand Cuts felt kind of tacked on and silly, like the overly-schmaltzy conclusion to an after-school special. I was invested with everything the writers were trying to say until they got preachy at the end. It was unnecessary considering the valid points they'd made earlier.

None of this is to say that you shouldn't see A Thousand Cuts. You should. But maybe take away all of the positives from the first hour and then just let yourself drift for the finale. That should give you the best viewing experience.

Revenge Honey Rating: 3 Douchecanoes out of 5