The Horror Honeys: Practical Lessons Women Learn from Horror Films!

Practical Lessons Women Learn from Horror Films!

Women and horror celebrate a long history together. Sometimes the relationship is AMAZING. Sometimes, we drink a lot while crying and burning photos of us together. The best thing about any relationship, no matter how fucked up it is, is that we LEARN from it. We learn what we like, and don't like, better places to hide bodies, and how we can grow together and not die horribly in the first 10 minutes. Hypothetically speaking of course...

But seriously, what better way to ring out Women in Horror Month than with a celebration of the important lessons that the Honey's have learned from Horror films!

Never accept a drink from a guy at a bar. You can keep your roofie-colada kind sir! ~ Revenge Honey


The better the sex, the more horrifyingly memorable your death will be.  ~ Head Honey


If you don't recognize the phone number, don't answer the phone. Also, don't continue engaging in conversation every time wackadoo calls. ~ Horror TV Honey


Blondes have more fun, but brunettes survive through the credits. ~ Hardcover Honey


Don't accept random job offers where the company throws big money and a penthouse at you for no apparent reason. They'll be hell to work for. ~ SciFi Honey Jen



Awesome house for sale in the woods? No thanks. I'll keep my apartment where neighbors can HEAR me scream, thankssomuch.Revenge Honey


Women who leave their blinds open at night are like goldfish in a bowl at the fair. They are on display. Stop undressing in front of your window! ~ Horror TV Honey


It's never just a cough. Quarantine, quarantine, quarantine! ~ Gamer Honey



Never, under any circumstances, underestimate the quiet people. ~ Horror TV Honey


Body lying in the road? Don't stop the car! Call the cops and keep driving you moron!Revenge Honey


When camping, don't wear inappropriate clothing, like shorts skirts and sandals. Sneakers and sweats... that's it. ~ Supernatural Honey



High heels and flip-flops are for women that want to trip and die. Sneakers... ALWAYS sneakers.Revenge Honey


Always be polite. That random guy that you were rude to will show up later in a mask trying to kill you. ~ Horror TV Honey


Black leather can be sexy AND functional! ~ Hardcover Honey


There are very few acceptable places to vacation. Non-acceptable places include cabins in the woods, Mexico, secluded islands, ski lodges, tents intended for camping purposes... you know what? Just don't go on vacation.Revenge Honey
This is a normal vacation, right?

It's better to be the outcast and thus, the hero than to be the popular girl and end up burning alive in the gym with all of your popular buddies at the prom. Hardcover Honey


Never park in an isolated parking garage or next to a stabbin' cabin. ~ Horror TV Honey


Know your "type." If you are suddenly getting hit on by the most attractive, magnetic man in the room, he's probably a monster. Head Honey



When shopping for antiques, don't buy boxes owned by other people. This includes jewelry boxes, wardrobes, keepsake boxes... JUST DON'T BUY BOXES FOR BOB'S SAKE!Revenge Honey


Always check under your car and in the backseat before getting in. ~ Horror TV Honey


Screaming draws the attention of the assailant/monster/undead. Shut the fuck up!Head Honey

 
When in doubt, a flamethrower is always a practical weapon.Head Honey


If you hear a strange noise in what should be an empty house/apartment, don't say, "Hello?" Whatever responds to you will likely try to kill you. ~ Supernatural Honey


Ouija Boards are NEVER a fun party game!Head Honey


If you aren't expecting company, don't answer the door. ~ Horror TV Honey


Splitting up to search for something is ALWAYS a bad idea.Head Honey


When you move into a house and discover the former occupants were into witchcraft or that it was a former hospital/asylum, MOVE IMMEDIATELY. ~ Supernatural Honey


Investigating a strange noise while clad only in your underwear is counterproductive your survival.Head Honey


You should keep up your fitness regime if you're going to be the final girl. ~ Horror TV Honey