The Horror Honeys: Honey Buzz ~ Yoga Hosers. Fuck off, eh?

Honey Buzz ~ Yoga Hosers. Fuck off, eh?

It's no secret that I got a little uptight about TUSK a few months ago, and may or may not have gone on a huge rant about Canuxploitation. Maybe it's because I'm from the other coast of Canada, where we don't say 'aboot' or 'eh' or sound like we got lost on our way to Fargo. We don't live in igloos, and I don't use a sled dog team to get to work. Kevin Smith, however, seems to think that Canada is made up of hockey, maple syrup, linguistic crutches, beer, and a healthy sprinkling of stereotyped politeness. For those of you familiar with Bob and Doug Mckenzie from Strange Brew and SCTV, you might also know that they were created ironically as a response to the CBC's request for more "Canadian content" in their programming.

Unfortunately, it seems that much like Honey Boo Boo for America, this image of the dopey Canuck has been spun in to a national identity and Kevin Smith is cashing in and bringing his family along for the ride, because hey, why the fuck not. It's also the second film in what Smith wants to make into a trilogy... because hey, why the fuck not.

You might be asking yourself, if i'm so goddamn annoyed about it, why waste the time writing about it? Because I'm honestly not sure that I'm not just being insane.

Sigh

Yoga Hosers stars Johnny Depp as a Quebecois police detective enlisted by two convenience store clerks (played by Depp and Smith's teenaged daughters). These two teenage yoga nuts (OMG it ties into the title! They like yoga AND they're Canadian!) have an after-school job at a Manitoba convenience store called Eh-2-Zed (fuck you). When an ancient evil rises from beneath Canada’s crust and threatens their big invitation to a 12th-grade party, the girls join forces with a legendary man hunter from Montreal named Guy Lapointe (remember when Tusk came out and critics were like 'OMG this Guy Lapointe guy is amazing!'? That was Johnny Depp) to fight for their lives with “all seven chakras, one Warrior Pose at a time."