The Horror Honeys: American Horror Story: Season 4, Episode 2 ~ Massacres and Matinees

American Horror Story: Season 4, Episode 2 ~ Massacres and Matinees

An Unimpressed Horror TV Honey Review by Lisa

In the recap of the premiere episode I spoke of the outrageous level of anticipation over FreakShow and my unwillingness to participate. Ryan Murphy has an exceptionally rocky track record when it comes to maintaining focus on any show that isn't Nip/Tuck. Well, even the last couple seasons of that show suffered from this lack of focus. 

Freakshow is only on it's second episode and the signs of Mr. Murphy's ADD are already showing; all the way down to a boy with ectrodactyly, or less scientifically put, Jimmy Darling and his lobster hands. TV Babies, if you'll remember, Sean and Julia had a son born with ectrodactyly in Nip/Tuck and, quite frankly, I could absolutely see him growing up to be Jimmy Darling. Jimmy Darling and his overwhelming need to make every single person understand that him and his loved ones are not freaks; they are just like the rest of us. Darling, please, I got the memo in the premiere episode. You are equal to any other human being and deserve the same level of respect and sympathy. Now, let's move forward and engage in some sort of, oh, I don't know.....plot lines?



You know who truly is a little off kilter? Twisty. As someone who finds clowns to be utterly terrifying, I am in no way scared of Mr. Twisty. I simply cannot get past how downright filthy his clothing is. While I realize that this is supposed to add to his menacing appearance, it just makes me uncomfortable to think that anyone would see him and then invite him into their home. I'm looking at you Gloria Mott. You, with your impeccable clothing and gorgeous mansion, you would not let Twisty into your house without ensuring that his clothing had been cleaned by your maid. (Why is Patti LaBellle playing the help? Her storyline better expand.) 

Twisty has a very special reason for behaving the way that he does and I have a sinking feeling that it is going to be something that strangely pulls at the heartstrings. He is, clearly, an emotionally and mentally damaged man trying to fill a hole. Much like Leatherface, Twisty is misunderstood and is simply trying to work out his personal demons by wearing other peoples scalps and engaging in some homicide. I wonder how long Twisty will be willing to put up with Dandy and his ugly personality? Side note: completely unimpressed with what was hiding under his mask. There were characters on Breaking Bad that had worse teeth than Twisty. 


Alright, Desiree with her "three titties, proper girl parts and a ding-a-ling" proclaiming that the "poofs" that she has sex with in a sad attempt at helping them change their stripes are lower than her and the other freaks may be the most outrightly ridiculous moment of screaming "GAY PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE" Mr. Murphy has ever accosted us with. Anyone who chooses to watch a show that features so-called freaks is most likely not the kind of person whom you need to be proselytizing to. Please, just stop. So much time is being wasted telling your audience stuff they already know. 

After watching the episode twice, it still isn't terribly clear how Elsa went from telling Dell that she didn't need him to allowing him to start calling the shots around the joint. Or maybe I just couldn't hear it over all of that moral grandstanding. His Darth Vader moment with Jimmy was completely underwhelming and not at all shocking. The kind of daggers that Ethel Darling was throwing at Dell only come from a very special place of female hatred. 

I have only one thing to say about Dot singing a Fiona Apple song that the crowd moshes to.
No.

I am well aware that I am in the minority with my lack of feelings over Meep. At the beginning of the episode, we were treated to a close up of Meep as he lovingly polished a basket of eggs. Eggs that would turn into baby chickens that he would then bite the head off of with those vicious, little teeth of his. His diminutive stature does not take away from his animal cruelty nature. Why do you think his mouth, specifically, was covered in shadows when he began screaming? So you would forget that he isn't entirely without sin. No, no one should be subjected to such an ugly and gruesome death, but I don't feel sorry for the little bastard, either.

Here's the big question; if Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson and Frances Conroy were not on this show, would you still be watching? Would these characters work even half as well if in the hands of less seasoned actors? Ms. Lange and Ms. Bates aren't exactly killing it themselves with these characters. Imagine if non Oscar winning actors were trying to pull off these characters with these highly questionable accents. That would be a true American Horror Story.

Random thoughts:

 -Does Stephen King get royalties for them using the grill of his big rig in Maximum Overdrive as the entrance to the Freakshow?

-Does telekinesis only work when two people are conversing with one another? I'm assuming this is the case since Dot has no idea that Bette has the seedlings of killing her in order to have the spotlight to herself.

-Will we see more characters in Freakshow that have the same birth defects as characters that we had the pleasure of meeting in Nip/Tuck?

-Seriously. Who was the very first woman to perform a ping pong ball show?


-How many episodes until Jimmy Darling seduces Bette and Dot with his lobster hands?