The Horror Honeys: Ranty Honey Buzz - James Franco is STILL Doing All the Things...

Ranty Honey Buzz - James Franco is STILL Doing All the Things...

I. Despise. You.

Even the things nobody wants him to, apparently. Because James Franco is still living under the delusion that he is some sort of god and can do everything, he has optioned the rights to ANOTHER beloved book by ANOTHER beloved novelist, even though NO ONE saw or liked his last attempts to do the same.

I'm trying not to actually, but you're making it really fucking hard.

News leaked yesterday via IndieWire that Franco has optioned the film rights to Chuck Palahniuk's Rant, a novel about a teenage serial killer and his wacky misadventures with an urban demolition derby in the big city. Now, I adore the twisted and subtly terrifying works of Palahniuk and would be THRILLED if someone could pull together another Fight Club-sized hit, but I don't care what anyone says: James Fucking Franco is not the one to do it. Have you seen his ego-stroking adaptation of As I Lay Dying? No? THAT'S RIGHT BECAUSE NO ONE HAS BECAUSE IT'S AWFUL! The only amusing thing that wiener has done since Freaks & Geeks was his cameo on 30 Rock and that is because he was playing a version of himself who was in a relationship with a Japanese body pillow and THAT I could actually buy.

And the best part is, I am QUITE sure that Franco will cast himself in this, probably as the teenage lead, even though he is almost 40-fucking-years old. But no, I'm sure he's perfect for the role, because he's just so youthful looking.

We're aware. You can stop trying to prove it now and go away.

So no, I'm not particularly thrilled with this bit of acquisition news. But what do YOU think? ~RH