The Horror Honeys: Murder Monday Jam - 'Along Came Jones'

Murder Monday Jam - 'Along Came Jones'

I got so bugged I turned it off and turned on another show
But there was the same old shoot-'em-up and the same old rodeo
Salty Sam was tryin' to stuff Sweet Sue in a burlap sack
He said, "If you don't give me the deed to your ranch
I'm gonna throw you on the railroad tracks!"
And then he grabbed her (and then)
He tied her up (and then)
He threw her on the railroad tracks (and then)
A train started comin' (and then, and then...!)

I don't know about you, but I grew up watching Snidely Whiplash kidnap Nell Fenwick every day on Dudley Do-Right and pretty much thought he was the most hilarious dude ever. (Additionally, Dudley fostered a long-standing love of Canadians... YEAH BC HONEYS!) Of course as I got older and started watching silent films, I realized old Snidely was a caricature of a very specific film archetype: the mustache twirling, black hat wearing, damsel-in-distress-tying-to-the-train tracks bad guy. And boy do I love that bad guy!

In the 50s, do-wop group the Coasters sang a popular track about this very situation... that happened week after week after week in serial film and radio shows. Along Came Jones is catchy as hell, and you can practically picture old Snide twirling his mustache as he listens to it and plans his next kidnapping scheme. ~RH