The Horror Honeys: This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things...

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things...

An EPIC Revenge Honey Rant by Linnie

I am a huge proponent of crowd-funding. I think the advent of sites like KickStarter and IndieGoGo were wonderful inventions for inventors, filmmakers, writers, and artists who are trying to make a dent in a world saturated with people getting by on connections and reputation. It's also no secret that I blame Zach Braff for ruining what was not very long ago a wonderful concept. He leeched money off his fans based on nostalgia for a movie he made ten years ago, and then went and made the same crappy manchild fever dream again, only worse, and with the same music. I keep the following gif on my desktop for when I have a bad day.

Yeah. Take it. Right in the stupid face.

Braff began a trend of other rich celebrities using their (likely much more broke) fan's money to make "passion projects" outside the studio system, so the only risk to the celebrity is that when they make a shitty film, a few people might be pissed, but hey! The fans have a t-shirt with Captain Spaulding on it! What the fuck do they have to complain about?

Yes, all of this gives me epic exploding rageface. When indie filmmakers with awesome ideas are struggling to even get their films or scripts noticed, people like Rob Zombie are unloading the contents of their storage units on Fanbacked. A simple search of google reveals that Zombie has a net worth of $40 million. Forty. Million. Dollars.

So before you digitally masturbate a director by telling him that you're willing to throw half your rent money at him just to get him to follow you on Twitter, please consider spending the same amount of money to buy the following independent films. I'm quite sure you can find all of them for less than $300 and you will be supporting people who actually need your money, as opposed to those who would rather risk yours on a vanity project.

All About Evil (2010): Directed by Joshua Grannell, Starring Natasha Leonne, Thomas Dekker, Cassandra Peterson

Son of Ghostman (2013): Directed by Kurt Larson, Starring Devin Ordyne, Kurt Larson, Angela Gulner (Winner of a 2014 Best Indie Film Rondo Award)

The Janitor (2003): Directed by TJ Nordaker & Andy Signore, Starring Andy Singore, Bruce Cornander, Crystal LeBard

Savaged (2013): Directed by Michael S. Ojeda, Starring Amanda Adrienne, Tom Ardavany, Ronnie Gene

The Seasoning House (2012): Directed by Paul Hyett, starring Rosie Day, Amanda Wass, Kevin Howarth

Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives (2010): Directed by Israel Luna, starring Willam Belli, Krystal Summers, Kelexis Davenport