The Horror Honeys: The Horror Honeys Take On Crypticon 2014!

The Horror Honeys Take On Crypticon 2014!

Crypticon Seattle - A Multi-Honey Adventure! 
Head Honey Kat
Revenge Honey Linnie
Sci-Fi Honey 2.0 Katie

In the last five years, I've attended Crypticon Seattle in several capacities, as a vendor helper, as a makeup contest contestant/finalist, as a fledgling Horror Honey, and this year as a whole lot more. Horror Conventions have become (for me at least) a place where I can be myself without fear of judgement, and there's nowhere that feels more like home than Crypticon Seattle. From the intimate venue (and you have to admit, for a convention centre, it kind of is) to the integration of vendors and celebrity guests, Crypticon really feels like a big family gathering, but not the awkward kind where someone asks you "just what are you doing with your life" or comments on your hair color or choice of horror t-shirt to wear to dinner. No way. Horror Family will always be the very best kind of family. <3

"Women in Horror" panel - Head Honey moderates.
The Honeys had the honor this year of not only being invited to Crypticon in a semi-official capacity, but also as panelists - and I'm now addicted to paneling... Sharing our collected knowledge and years of horror obsession with other convention goers and superfans is an amazing experience.

After so many years of attending Crypticon, I can honestly say that it's the highlight of my year, and after such an amazing experience this time around, I'm already counting down to next year. ~ HH

The Revenge Honey's Perspective

Crypticon 2014 gave a new meaning to the term "honey hustle." This year, the Honeys, who luckily run on only one setting and that is, "ALL THE THINGS! DO ALL THE THINGS!," were hosting and appearing on panels, trying to see the panels that interested them, checking out films, manning a vendor booth, and meeting some amazing performers, all while Head Honey Kat ran the convention's social media.

Man, after writing that, I think I need ANOTHER nap.

But rather than re-hash a minute-by-minute account of every Honey antic for the entire weekend, I am going to share with you a few of my absolute highlights (that will probably overlap with Kat and Katie here and there) and only one minor gripe from the whole weekend. So lets jump in with opening day!


Silence of the MEEPS!
For me, Friday was all about manning the Honey Booth and meeting some of the other kickass vendors who we'd be seeing all week. My very first stop was at a booth that I couldn't wait to see: Pesceffects - The Art of Jerry Pesce. Some of you may have become aware of him when his recent CenoMuppets piece went viral, but I was like a kid in a candy store. It took me 20 minutes to narrow my choices down to two, but I think I made the right decision...

And remember, if you see one of Jerry's works online somewhere, be sure to give him credit. Just cutting and pasting doesn't do the artist any good and they put a lot of amazing work into their creations.


Upon the arrival of Sci-Fi Honey Version 2.0 Katie, she and I were able to leave the booth in Kat's cute/creepily manicured hands and head off to Saturday Morning Horror Cartoons, hosted by BoneBat. The hour was filled with festival winners, old Disney and Looney Tunes standards, and a few new favorites. One will be in this week's Friday Favorites, but this is the other from Jaye Bhee:

Next, it was the Writing Awards, where Kat and I did't win but it was an honor just to be nominated. (Wow, never thought I'd actually get to say that someday!) Our stories were still published in the anthology, which you can purchase in the Honey Store soon!

A scene from Silence! The Musical...
Then I was off to the only panel I was able to attend strictly for fun, which was Horror Musicals and Theatre. It was a true pleasure to hear a panel stacked with knowledgable folks that had actually seen the plays they were discussing! It also reminded me of so many great shows that the Honeys are now planning a podcast on horror musicals in the future, so keep an eye out! Literally, go ahead and pop one out and leave it by the computer so it can let you know when we schedule it.

And then... the REAL Honey Hustle began. Kat and I appeared on a panel titled, Is Horror Still a Boys Club? and it was a smashing success. The audience was engaged and wonderful, with so many great questions, and even when things got deep, it gave some attendees a chance to really speak their mind. It felt great to have the opportunity to share what the Horror Honeys are learning from the inside with those who just may be starting out in the horror world. Many said this panel was their favorite of the convention, and for that, we are truly grateful to everyone that turned out.

Next, while Kat stayed put for the Conjuring Fear panel, I went back to the booth and had so many lovely conversations with people who had listened to the panel. You kids really are the best!

After delicious dinner of room service pizza shoved hastily down our food holes, it was time for the one movie experience we actively couldn't wait for: Vital Heat: The Cheap Thrills Documentary. The Honeys were massive fans of Evan Katz's political allegory horror/pitch black comedy, with Ethan Embry and David Koechner coming on Honey Radio as guests, so the prospect of seeing some behind the scenes moments was too good to pass up! Director TJ Nordaker's documentary didn't disappoint, and when you buy Cheap Thrills, be sure to watch Vital Heat!

To wrap up the day, I had the pleasure of watching Kat on a panel looking at the impact history has on horror films and it was fantastic. Our Head Honey is one smart cookie and it's always fun watching her own it. SMARTY HORROR FOR THE WIN!


Sunday started with the VIP brunch, where guests such as The Soska Sisters, Tristan Risk, and C. Thomas Howell, mingled with press, VIP pass holders, and a hoard of the undead. It was a really cute start to the last day of Crypticon!

The Bride by Martha Hull
Since I had two panels in a row rounding out the day, I used the last of my "free" time to wander the vendor floor a little more and meet a few more awesome artists! First, I spent a few minutes talking with author/artist Martha Hull. Martha just released her "children's" book, Death's Daughter and the Basket of Kittens, in which Death's daughter, Belladonna receives three fluffy kittens from dear old dad: Famine, Pestilence, and Fluffy. The book is darkly adorable, and I will definitely be getting it for my niece in a few years. However, I loved Martha's art so much, I purchased this print! Find more on Twitter: @Martha_Hull or on her website

I was also lucky enough to chat with the owners of Brigid's Whispers, a unique accessories boutique. My personal favorites were two resin necklaces I purchased for Kat and myself: one Bride themed and one Alice in Wonderland themed. You should definitely check out there site for some beautiful work!

Rapid Fire Highlights!

~ Tristan Risk was a total sweet heart and an absolute delight. I was honored to finally get to meet her!
~ Zach Galligan is absolutely charming. I'm pretty sure Katie and I were blushing when we met him.
~ John Kassir is a doll. If you're not already following the voice of the Crypt Keeper on Twitter, you should be!
~ Cheap Thrills is finally out on DVD, so buy it! And don't forget to watch TJ Nordaker's fantastic doc.
~ Finally getting to meet so many Honey Fans! You guys are the best and we could never to this without you!

The Lowlights.... boooo:

~ When you're not scheduled to be on a panel, yelling, "I HAS OPINIONS! I SHOULD BE UP THERE!" is unacceptable. It's even less acceptable when the moderator allows said audience member to come up on stage with the people who have, in come cases, spent months researching the topic and who then have to give up a large chunk of time to someone blithering about totally off-topic concepts. Resting bitch face barely contained, I wanted to explode rage babies all over the table. But I didn't. Because I'm a mother-fucking lady.
~ Eric Roberts is unpleasant and owes Katie and I $20 for a signature we were strong-armed into buying. Not cool dude. Not cool.

Crypticon 2014: A Sci-Fi Honey Experience - by Katie

Sci-Fi Honey 2.0 here, home from a whirwind one-day experience at Crypticon with the lovely Head Honey and Revenge Honey, who were kicking ass at paneling, running Crypticon's social media experience, and spreading the Honey word.

My day began taking in some hilarious and altogether terrifying Saturday morning cartoons with Revenge Honey; a whimsically demented way to start off my Crypticon experience.  Wandering the myriad vendor booths and celebrity meet-and-greet stations, I got to have a chat with Gremlins' sweet and charming Zach Galligan, jump in a photo-op with the Twisted Twins (Jen and Sylvia Soska), and sign a birthday card for the great Doug Jones.  Vendors had some incredibly creative and sick swag for sale, ensuring you're horror-ed out from the skeleton bows on your head to the Frankenstein shoes on your feet.  You could get a tattoo, tote around your very own blood-filled balloon, or purchase a hatchet to defend yourself from a Cosplay ambush.  It was heaven.

I attended a screening of writer/director/actor Jessica Cameron's pet project, 2013's Truth or Dare, which was introduced with a clever and fun short by Jill Sixx Gevargizian.  Starring Human Centipede 2's Laurence R. Harvey and American Mary's Tristan Risk, Call Girl tells the story of a man seeking to share his sordid tryst via webcam, with some gruesomely unintended consequences.  Call Girl packed a punch into it's 6-minute runtime, and was a fitting opening to Cameron's feature, which Cameron warned may punch us all in the gut.  "If you are offended by my film and choose to walk out," she cautioned, "just be aware that I may want to capture your reaction on film and ask you why."  I knew nothing about this film before sitting down for the screening, and this disclaimer certainly got me prepared for some blood and gore.  I could never have prepared myself, however, for what followed.

Written by Cameron and Jonathan Scott Higgins, Truth or Dare tells the story of a gang of YouTube-famous thrillseekers known as the Truth or Daredevils, who are kidnapped by a crazed fan when it is revealed that their most shocking truth or dare game broadcast online was a hoax.  The fan forces them all, via webcam, to participate in a game of truth or dare that escalates into deadly admissions of guilt and physically excruciating "dares."  When the film started there was a party-like atmosphere in the crowd; the screening, attended by Cameron, Risk, the Soska sisters and some colleagues, had it's own insider cheering section that would whoop and holler at every knife in the gut, snarky one-liner or jump-scare moment.  The mood was contagious and the audience settled in for a fun and gory time, cheering along with them.  That mood, however, quickly darkened as the Truth or Daredevil's revelations of truth (incest, pedophilia, illegitimate pregnancy) and dares (self-mutilation, violent rape, necrophilia) grew darker and more intense.  Men and women alike crossed their legs and uncomfortably shifted in their seats around me; even for hardcore horror fans, it seemed as though this film was making a few squirm, especially when it came to the nausea-inducing sound effects accompanying some of the most disturbing dares.

As it turns out, this was Cameron's intention all along.  Following the film she and Risk took questions about what we had seen, and Cameron had no qualms about admitting that she revels in the sick and twisted, and cares not about the naysayers – "I wish them the best and hope they find something better to obsess about than how much they hate me."  Her shock-horror influences, she stated, are films like A Serbian Film (who's depiction of "newborn porn" she lamented was "not shocking enough" for her tastes), the BDSM "feeders and eaters" saga Feed, as well as The Human Centipede and Martyrs.  Citing these influences, an audience member asked what she would say to critics who think that only men can make horror films.  Her response?  "No intelligent person would say that out loud, but I'm sure many are thinking it.  We need more female directors in general but especially in the horror genre, where we are not getting what we want.  We want to change the boy's club."  Whether one appreciates the work of Cameron or other trailblazing female horror filmmakers, such as the Soska sisters, it's an admirable goal and one that I'm fully willing to applaud and support, should they strive to make films from a fresh and complex female-oriented perspective and bring something inventive to the genre.
Twisted Twins and "The Gentlemen"

It was a lot to take in for an afternoon screening, and whether I truly "liked" the film or not, it's one that everyone will certainly have an opinion over, and that's something in and of itself.  A self-described "sequel whore," Cameron admitted that two more Truth or Dare films are slated to be produced, and if her post-screening glee about embracing the demented side of ourselves is any indication, the subsequent films will be even more shocking and cringe-inducing than the first.

I was sad to leave Crypticon and my sister Honeys behind, but I had a wonderful experience on the way out.  Pressing the "down" button on the elevator and waiting for the doors to open, I sensed a presence next to me and turned to find none other than Carel Struycken.  He held the door open for me politely and it was just Lurch and I descending to the hotel lobby, discussing the book he was reading, and talking about our weekend plans.  It was a perfect and surreal way to end my horror-iffic day in the great Northwest.