The Horror Honeys: Dead Girls Don't Like Meatloaf

Dead Girls Don't Like Meatloaf

A Supernatural Honey Review


Haunter (2013)

I realize most of my reviews are of films that were made before 1990. The reason being, most horror films made in the last couple of decades suck donkey dick. Every once in a while though, I'll watch something newer and it's surprisingly good. Haunter is not one of those movies.

Lisa (Abigail Breslin) is a teenager who seems to be living her own Groundhog Day. Every day it's pancakes for breakfast, mac and cheese for lunch, meatloaf for dinner and laundry. Dad never leaves the garage, always trying to fix the car. Lisa's birthday is always tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. 
As she tries to make sense of what is happening, she starts to hear voices and see shadows. Ghosts? Well, sort of. It turns out she and her family are dead and they are reliving their last night on earth. Once she realizes it, things finally begin to change, but not in a good way. A mysterious and creepy man shows up (Stephen McHattie) and he tells Lisa not to continue interfering or he will make her ghostly existence worse. 


Back to the voices. Lisa makes contact with the current living teenager in the house, Olivia. Olivia helps Lisa discover the secret of the house (other girls who have died there), all in an attempt to keep history from repeating itself and saving Olivia and her family.

OK, I admit it's a unique twist on a ghost story. I will give it that. Sadly, that's all I'll give it. I even wanted to like it, but I couldn't.

We all remember that cute little Abigail from Little Miss Sunshine. Unfortunately, she didn't blossom into a striking young woman. Her attempt to pull off a brooding goth girl just comes across as a kid playing dress up. 


However, there are a few unsettling moments. Lisa discovers a door behind the washing machine that leads to a furnace where she finds the remains of several other dead girls. The always creepy Stephen McHattie plays a ghostly serial killer to perfection, but it's not really enough to save the movie.

There are also too many haunted house cliches. The foggy outside that always leads you back to the front door and the not being able to leave the boundaries of the property; all done too many times.

I watched this during a bout of insomnia the other morning and while not boring enough to put me to sleep, I can honestly say, I forgot about it the minute my feet hit the floor, just like a bad dream.

Supernatural Honey Rating: 2 dead teenagers out of 5