The Horror Honeys: Meet Andrew. The Road to Hell is paved with his victims

Meet Andrew. The Road to Hell is paved with his victims

A Supernatural Honey Review

Fear No Evil (1981)

I was raised in a pretty strict Catholic household, did my time in church school and spent every Sunday sitting in a pew listening to Father Severson preach fire and brimstone. After getting confirmed, I decided religion wasn’t for me. Still, I have an obsession with crosses, churches and horror movies with a religious theme. Unfortunately, Fear No Evil should have been sent to Hell long before it ever viewed by, well, anyone.

The premise is solid enough. Lucifer is reborn in human form. He torments his parents, tortures his classmates, reigns Hell upon the Earth (well, high school) until he is eventually destroyed by the forces of good. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, that sounds familiar. Yes, we've seen this before in The Omen Trilogy. However, there we have to wait 3 whole films to see the progression and destruction of Damien Thorn. Novice filmmaker Robert LaLoggia condenses this story into a painful 99 minutes. While the Omen films were much more intelligent, visually pleasing, well acted and well written, Fear No Evil does have a few things that the Omen does not. Mainly, bad special effects and bad acting, but we'll get to that later.
Andy is a senior in high school. He is not the handsome, well-groomed, charming, charismatic man we've all come to know and love in this type of film. Instead, he's tall, bookish, pasty and has the shakes. There is the token unrequited love interest, Julie. She's the pretty girl, with the all-American boyfriend, who is somehow drawn to Andy while terrified at the same time. Andy's high school is very Ewan High from Carrie with a little splash of Rydell High from Grease. Even our resident bully, Tony, is a part Billy Nolan and, from the neck up, Jo Polniaczek (for you Facts of Life lovers). Even Tony's girlfriend is a slightly harsher Rizzo-esque chick, complete with satin jacket.

There isn't any character development in this film, even for poor Andy. We realize, from his ill-fated christening at the beginning of the film, that he is the anti-christ, but little else. His parents know something is wrong with him, but does he even know who he is or what he's capable of? All the kids at school think he's creepy and avoid him at all costs. Wait! Did I say ALL costs? That's not entirely true. In a boys locker room shower scene that has no real purpose in the film other than some gratuitous male nudity (yes, there is full frontal), Tony tries to bate Andy by teasing him. Andy, too engrossed in the shower itself, is oblivious to the taunting. Tony then plants a big kiss on the unsuspecting Andy who, in return, kisses back. Wait, did Gus Van Sant direct this??

My favorite scene in this movie is by far the gym class scene. Andy arrives 57 seconds late for class and is forced into the corner to do push ups while the other boys play a vigorous game of dodge ball. While struggling to lift himself off the floor, Andy sets his sights on Julie's boyfriend. He appears to be the last man standing on his team. As Andy's anger builds, we also notice that the coach is getting a little too into the game. Andy's eyes glow orange and no one seems to notice, the coach takes a ball away from a student and propels the little rubber sphere at the boy who is thrown with such force at the wall, he is killed instantly. Death by dodge-ball...
Intense push-up face.

Then it just gets ridiculous. Andy goes to a small island across the lake. He looks like Dr. Frank-N-Furter except that he's only wearing a cape, nothing else. He calls forth his army of the dead, who come out of the ground in full business suits, carrying garden tools. The end of this movie is the most insane 5 minutes on film. As the forces of good attempt to destroy Lucifer, there is a special effects light display that is only rivaled by XANADU. In fact, all they needed were roller-skates. I laughed until I almost peed myself.

In a nutshell, this movie sucks it hard. There is nothing to tie any of the scenes together. It's as if someone cut out pieces of it for the sake of time and money, but they cut out all the pieces that created any cohesiveness to the film. It doesn't matter who stars in this movie, because you haven't heard of any of them before and none of them have gone on to promising film or TV careers. Basically, this movie is a waste of time, unless, of course, you're wasted. 

Supernatural Honey Verdict: 2 Antichrists out of 5.