Supernatural Sunday Jam ~ Dragula

Dragula - Rob Zombie

Dead I am the life, dig into the skin
Knuckle crack the bone, 21 to win
Dead I am the dog, hound of hell you cry
Devil on your back, I can never die

Dig through the ditches,
And burn through the witches
And slam in the back of my

Dear Mr. Zombie, Please stop making boring, pointless horror films. Instead, please make more music. Your lyrics, like your movies, are stupid, but your music is contagious, like a dancing fungus. If you do insist on continuing your reign of creating some of the worst films around, can you at least maybe not hire your wife. Sure, she's hot, but I hate to break it to you, she sucks. Much love. ~SH

Ditch Day Massacre

A Guest Honey Review by Tonjia Atomic

When I first started watching Ditch Day Massacre I thought it was another modern teen style slasher flick. As the film unfolded I realized that it was not just your typical recycled teen film. What it is is a gritty indie horror in a suburban setting that involves teens as well as adults. It wasn’t anything profound, but it was a fun watch. 

There were a few instances of jump scares and female nudity that seemed as if they were thrown in to please the audience. Jump scares and nudity that seem thrown in out of nowhere are both pet peeves of mine. However they happened so infrequently that it wasn’t that big of a deal for me. I think it was twice each. Also, there is an audience for that type of thing, it’s just not me. 

The story has a clearly defined backstory and some plot twists that I really didn’t see coming that added to the story. However, I personally didn’t really care too much about the back story. I enjoyed it for the body count, gore, and fun performances. The gore was slightly exaggerated in a good way. It was realistic enough to buy but over the top enough to not feel like I was watching torture porn or a surgery show. Good and gross and not quite realistic is my cup of tea.

Katy Foley was solid in the lead as Jenny Bilson. Another plus is a cameo by Lynn Lowry. And of course Bill Oberst Jr. steals the show. If you’re the type of person who likes to see Bill Oberst Jr. in any role (I know you’re out there) you will delight in this movie. He gets to be at his baddest best with many great creep out moments. I haven’t seen an apple eaten so creepily since Chris Sarandon in Fright Night.  

For film buffs there were several unique and cool looking shots. The framing was unique and some of the story shown through shadow or reflected images. There was nothing that was too fancy that would bring you out of the grittiness of it, but some shots were beyond standard and added an interesting element to the film. 

Overall I didn’t feel like this is a movie that requires a revisit to ponder it’s deeper virtues. However, I don’t think it’s meant to be that kind of a film. It’s a fun watch that delivers what it sets out to. 

Hell Hath No Fury

A Supernatural Honey Retro Review by Suzanne

The Legend of Hell House (1973)

In a world where haunted house movies are a dime a dozen and usually pretty crappy, it's refreshing when you find one that doesn't make you want to jump in front of a train for wasting your time watching it.

The Belasco House, known as the "Mount Everest of haunted houses," once owned by a notorious sexual sadist, Emeric Belasco and the site of a massacre, is now being opened for investigation. Noted physicist, Lionel Barrett, is hired to prove or debunk the myth of the house. He brings along his wife, Edith, a mental medium, Florence Tanner, and a physical medium, Ben Fischer. Fisher is special because he is the lone survivor of a previous investigation. He knows the secrets of the house and Barrett intends to use him to his advantage.

Saturday Cartoons Jam - 'The Cobweb Hotel'

Spend the night at the Cobweb Hotel.
You'll find that the service is swell.
Now you needn't be shy.
I won't harm a fly.
Spend the night at the Cobweb Hotel.
Come into my parlor, please do.
In a while, all your cares will be through.
There'll be no rent to pay.
'Cause you'll be here to stay.
Spend the night at the Cobweb Hotel.

Now I won't pretend that I'm a huge fan of flies. They carry diseases, they're annoyingly buzzy, and they shit every time they land. But after watching this classic cartoon from Paramount and Adolph Zukor, I have to say... I might be looking at them a little differently from now on. That spider is a creepy-ass dick. And the song that opens the cartoon, also called The Cobweb Hotel, will be stuck in my head for week. So listen in, little flies, and maybe don't check into a hotel where you hear screaming... ~RH

Gamer Honey's Horror Game Trailer of the Week!

Sci-Fi, specifically anything in space, has always been a genre of horror that was always able to get to me. Nothing sends me into an agoraphobic induced panic attack faster than thinking about floating, alone, in that vast emptiness. However, isn't that why we enjoy horror? Getting our psychological jimmies rustled has always been a fun past-time. They say: “In space, no one can hear you scream.” Well that's just fine-and-fucking-dandy but my neighbor in fact, can.

Dead Space was the last sci-fi game that had me nope-the-fuck out of my gaming chair pretty quickly. I probably spent more time shooting (seemingly dead) monsters on the ground in the hopes they didn't jump scare me, than any other game. Since then we really haven't had too many horror games in space (actually, I can't think of any off the top of my head), but Sega and The Creative Assembly are here to change that.

Alien: Isolation's story takes place 15 years after Ripley's interplanetary travel with face suckers and acid bleeding babies. You play as Amanda, Ripley's daughter (who knew she had human ones!) who is on a mission to learn the truth behind her mother's disappearance. The Creative Assembly has said that Alien: Isolation will be more about surviving, rather than a shooter, in which the player must scavenge for supplies and improvise during fights.

Gamer Honey Verdict: The Creative Assembly recently mentioned that 20th Century Fox released three terabytes of behind the scenes information to help recreate the style and feel of this '70s classic. They say they're working diligently to keep the general look and feel the movies created, and after watching all the trailers and gameplay videos, I'm generally pretty stoked about this.

Saturday Morning Creepy Cartoon ~ Runaway Brain

A Nostalgic Cartoon Feature by Shannon

This article came up after we did the PG-13 Horror podcast and I was thinking back to my youth with creepy cartoons that I saw and this Disney cartoon comes to mind.

I first saw this short in theatres in 1995, when A Goofy Movie was released and Runaway Brain was the animated short that played before the film (I wish we still have cartoons playing in theatres, I’d rather watch old Tom and Jerry shorts than another commercial!) and suffice to say my mind was well...blown.

The cartoon starts off with Minnie Mouse visiting Mickey’s house, in which he is embroiled in a video game. She tells him that he forgot the anniversary of their first date (... do we still celebrate those? I’m lucky to remember my wedding anniversary!)

In a pinch, Mickey tells her that he was “planning” to surprise her, however, she interpreted the date as a trip to Hawaii rather than a trip to the mini-golf course. So now Mickey is caught in his lie and he has to come up with money to buy the tickets for the trip.

Mickey looks in the newspaper and finds an easy, one day job that pays him the exact amount of money he needed. What could go wrong?

Reference? I don't know what reference you speak of!
So as the ominous screenshot suggested, Mickey is lured into a science experiment of Dr. FrankenOllie who is planning to switch Mickey’s brain with the behemoth monster he created named “Julius." The switch is thrown, the electricity sparks and the experiment begins.

...This is a kids cartoon...right?
Mickey recovers only to find himself switched bodies with the monster. In an attempt to convince Julius, Mickey inadvertently makes Julius fall in love with Minnie and the monster runs off with Mickey’s body. 

Mickey in Julius’ massive body follows after him as he tracks down Minnie in a clothing store looking for a bathing suit for the vacation.

Why is she buying a bikini when she doesn't have any tits?
The rest of the short is the chase between Mickey, Julius and Minnie, as Mickey attempts to save Minnie and fight Julius for control of his body. 

This is one of my most favourite Disney shorts, not only for the story but for the amazing artwork, animation and subtle horror movie references. After the showing in theatres, it was never shown again due to parents’ complaints about the cartoon scaring their children

...and to be honest, I wouldn’t blame them for being scared. This animated short had some creepy ass imagery going on.

Nevertheless, this short appeals to me and my inner child. Its nice to see cartoons that can push the envelope and have fun with it (and it looks like the animators had fun making it too!)

Sci-Friday Jam - 'Galaxy Song'

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure

How amazingly unlikely is your birth

And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space

'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth

What's more awesome then a goofy Monty Python song about the universe? A factually accurate goofy Monty Python song about the universe, of course! This classic from the British comedy troupe's The Meaning of Life isn't just a hilariously uplifting tune, but the facts contained within have been checked by actual scientists, and the song provides a really useful lesson on the in's and out's of basic astronomy. So listen, laugh, and learn, Honey Bees! ~RH

Friday Favorites - Horror Sequels We WANT!

The majority of the time, horror sequels suck: there is really no denying that sad fact. But every once in a while, a horror film comes along that leaves you desperate for more. It may be a classic film or it may be a new favorite, but there is no question that when the credits run, you want to know what the shit happened to your favorite characters. 

So to celebrate those rare films that actually needed a sequel, the Horror Honeys have compiled a Friday Favorites list of our favorite horror films that needed even more damn movie! Do you have a favorite flick that you think needed a sequel? Let us know on Twitter, using #horrorsequels!

Warning! There are spoilers ahead!