Revenge Wednesday Jam - 'Welcome Home'

You stormed off to scar the armada
Like Jesus played martyr,
I'll drill through your hands
The stone for the curse you have blamed me
With love and devotion, I'll die as you sleep
But if you could just write me out
To neverless wonder... happy will I become
Be true that this is no option,
So with sin I condemn you
Demon play, demon out!

Coheed and Cambria is pretty much the best prog rock nerd band since Rush. Their concept albums line up with comic books that the band members help write. Lead singer Claudio Sanchez has a voice so operatic it kind of makes you want to die or cry... sometimes both simultaneously. Even the band's name plays into an epic story of love that has worked itself out through their albums and comics since their inception. While I like some of their romantic songs ("Wake Up" featured on the same album is beautiful), revenge song "Welcome Home" from Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness (GODS, I love this band) is my favorite. So get lost in the prog rock epic-ness, kids, and revenge on! ~RH

Turn Off the TV, Get Off Your Ass, & Go Outside!

A Revenge Honey Top Five by Linnie

There is no question about it: we have become a very technology-obsessed society. Whether it is our smart phones, our HD TVs, or our computers, there are very few people out there who don't rely fairly heavily on at least one form of tech. Be honest... how many times have you checked your phone just since you started reading this? Don't feel bad. I've looked at least twice in the last 30 seconds.

Since film became a medium for the expression of societal fears, our concern about the dangers of industrialism (Metropolis) to the eventual sentience of our machines (The Terminator) have been a dominate theme in sci-fi and horror. Realistic video games, artificial intelligence, and the increasing predominance of social media are all very modern concerns that have become fodder for some of the best scary movies.

This list features some of my favorite sci-fi/horror films that focus on the dangers implicit in giving technology too much control over us. Some are about TV, others video games, but they all tell us one thing: get off your tush and go outside for a change, huh?

Same Old Story, Same Old Torture & Castration

A Revenge Honey Review/Rant by Linnie

Among Friends (2012)

I'm afraid I have to open this particular review with a bit of a rant. First off, when you are a female horror critic, you become acutely aware of certain issues specific to women in horror. One of those main issues is that some major players in the industry seem to get by on looks, nostalgia, and pictures of their boobs covered in blood. While I am not one to deny a lady her right to show off the goods, problems arise when critics start giving these blood-soaked tits passes even when their work sucks. It's even more eye-rollingly annoying when those passes are given via positive reviews for movies that blow donkey balls.

The gig is up dudes. But that 5-star review will NOT get you laid. Sorrynotsorry.
Additionally, the Horror Honeys have also had to confront the assumption that just because we are women working in the horror industry, we automatically have to give two perfectly-manicured thumbs up to anything with a vag.

Not gonna happen. Feminism isn't about special considerations: it's about the same damn considerations for everyone, whether they be a glowing and feels-filled review or one that involves snarky gifs and a whole lot of name calling. So with all of this ranting in mind, we may now commence with this week's review of Danielle Harris's Among Friends.

Horror TV Tuesday Jam - 'Trapped in a Box'

Oh trapped in a box I'm not alone
I know of others with a box as their home
Light only enters from a crack or a hole
Oh this is not enough for a human to grow
Trapped in a box

Gwen Stefani is a fierce bitch; even while wearing a baseball hat backwards. I never tire of a hate letter to everyone's favorite box. Hmmm... well everyone's favorite inanimate box. Side note: Gwen has not aged and this video is so old, that she looks current. Fashion really does repeat itself. ~HTH

Horror TV Review ~ The Strain: S1 Ep 3 "Gone Smooth"

A Horror TV Honey Review by Lisa

I have a theory on The Strain. It's the new The Walking Dead in the sense that it is being viewed by lovers and haters in equal measure. I really want to love this show, but I am currently at an "I don't hate it level" after this third episode and I am definitely in the "negative live Tweeting category." For now.

I did really enjoy seeing the Nictitating Membrane Nazi put himself together. Talk about having to put your face on, huh ladies? (I'll be at the local comedy club every night this week.)

True Blood Episode Recap ~ Season 7, Ep. 6 "Karma"

A Horror TV Honey Episode Review by Lisa

It's the last season with only five episodes left to go. That would mean that the action is going to start really amping up, right? Um, kind of. 

Sure, the episode picked up with Eric taking out the Yakuza, but he was clearly drained of all energy. Way to help your maker, Pam. For a feisty bitch, she never really comes through on the action side of things, does she? Anyone who tries to tell me that Eric fighting the Yakuza was not a direct reference to Kill Bill is wrong. He even had the moment where he exasperatedly said, "really?" when the men just kept coming at him. I bring this up because last week I was obsessed with the Django Unchained references and this week was kind of an episode made up of film references. 

Is there no clearer sign that the writers have all but given up? If this was a theme that ran through all seven seasons, I would find it fun, but to start popping up in the last six episodes of the series just feels boring and mildly insulting to the viewer. We stuck by you through so much to have you just rub our faces in your apathy and boredom.

Murder Monday Jam - 'Evil'

Oh heaven restores you in life
I spent a lifespan with no cellmate
The long way back
Saying, "Hey, why can't we look the other way?"
You're weightless, semi-erotic
You need someone to take you there
Saying, "Hey, why can't we look the other way?"
Why can't we just play the other game?
Why can't we just look the other way?

That couple looks really sweet, right? Kind of English and probably pretty boring, yeah? Yeah... no. That's Fred and Rosemary West, two of the most notorious serial killers in England's history. Rosemary was a prostitute who serviced all of the neighborhood fellas... and her schizophrenic father. Together Fred and Rosemary would pick up girls at the bus stop, bring them home, sexually assault them for days, and then kill them. They did this together to 10 girls, while Fred was responsible for 12 murders on his own. When they were finally caught and convicted, Fred committed suicide in prison by hanging himself. Rosemary was convicted to life imprisonment and remains in custody to this day.

The point of all this? Indie-alt-rock band Interpol wrote a song about Rosemary West. I have no fucking idea why. But it's catchy and it played on the radio incessantly and made them quite famous, so yay? ~RH

Horror It Takes a Lady to Love...

A Revenge Honey List of the Best Female-Centric Horror Films

When it comes to the majority of horror films, it doesn't take a deep understanding of human nature to enjoy them. You can be a scoop-master at the local ice cream shop or you can have a Masters in clinical psychology from an Ivy League school; it doesn't really matter what your background when you sit down to watch Friday the 13th. However, there are some movies that, whether you know it or not, it takes an X chromosome to fully appreciate.

That's not to say that fellas can't enjoy the film; just that there are more than a few horror films out there that undeniably effect women on a visceral level that many men can't begin to understand. Why? Men can't give birth... Men can't experience the closeness of a female relationship based in shared trauma... And most men have never been the subject of an old wive's tale that they have a set of teeth living in their genitals (if I'm wrong about that, please, let me know!)

For those reasons, I believe that while the following fright films can be loved by anyone, it takes a lady to truly grasp the horror inherent in their stories. If you don't believe me, watch them again in a group, and see who is left more horrified by the story: men or women. And if you want to argue with me, sound off in the comments! I'd love to hear what you think!