The Premiere of USA's 'Dig?' Hoo Boy.

A Pilot Episode Review by Linnie

Dig ~ USA Network

First off, I have to get this gripe off my chest before we get into the meat of the review. WHAT is with this new, network TV, hour and twenty-three minute run time? American Horror Story was doing that shiz all season and it chapped my ass. Either do an hour and a half show, or don't do it at all. With that being said, I watched the season premiere of USA's Dig and my initial reaction?

Hardcover Thursday Jam ~ 'Sh-Boom'

Oh, life could be a dream, sh-boom
If only all my precious plans would come true, sh-boom
If you would let me spend my whole life lovin' you
Life could be a dream sweetheart, sh-boom
Every time I look at you
Something is on my mind
If you do what I want you to
Baby, we'd be so fine

Alan Parker's Angel Heart is one of those films that took a decade or more for people to really appreciate. Based on the novel Falling Angel by William Hjortsberg, the horror noir tells the story of private detective Harry Angel, who may or may not have just been hired by the devil. The film is so atmospheric and full of beautiful set pieces, but I've always gravitated toward the music. One of my favorite songs in Angel Heart is "Sh-Boom" by The Chords (which discerning listeners of a certain age will also remember from Clue). So get ready to blast into the past with this week's Honey Jam and if you haven't already, watch Angel Heart, would ya? ~RH

iZombie, You Zombie, NO Sex Zombie

A Zombie Honey PSA by Bella

I know that you should never judge a book by it’s cover. Thank goodness this isn’t about a book… Okay, in fairness, iZombie was a book - a comic book - but that’s not what I have an issue with. 

Zombies aren’t pretty. Zombies aren’t fuckable. 

There. I said it. That is my issue. 

Issue the first: CW, NOT. EVERYTHING. IS. PRETTY. *deep breath*

Honey Buzz ~ More 'Miss Peregrine' Casting News!

Ever since Tim Burton announced he was optioning Ransom Riggs's Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, I've been making this face:

On the surface, the novel about a boy transported through time to a school that houses children with exceptional abilities SEEMS like an ideal Burton project. However, given Burtons track record as of late (Dark Shadows, the blatant Oscar grab attempt that was Big Eyes), I'm not 100% sure I trust him with the material. Another however, however... the casting on Miss Peregrine has been so consistently solid, that I'm softening to project. 

Via Variety, this latest casting news might put me solidly, but cautiously, on board.

Hardcover Honey's Haunted Book Club ~ 'The Dewey Decimal System'

Hardcover Honey's Book of the Week from Jocelyn

The Dewey Decimal System by Nathan Larson

It is NOT about this. Promise.
Don’t be fooled by the generic title – this one is as dark noir as they come, and well worth your time. Especially if you like post-apocalyptic stuff as much as I do.  This book is reminiscent of the Adam Sternbergh Spademan books, which I mean as the highest compliment.

Dewey Decimal is a bi-racial man - without a memory or a past (or even a name, Decimal being a name others have bestowed) – he lives in the NYC Public Library, where he is working on reorganizing the entire catalog in the absence of computers after something everyone just refers to as “2/14” – whatever happened on that Valentine’s Day has left New York in shambles, with fewer than a million residents and plenty of large-scale problems, not the least of which are the food shortage and a pervasive stench that comes in off the water around the entire city. Unless I accidentally missed a chapter, I don’t think Larson ever explains what exactly happened on 2/14 – and I thought that was awesome, because, ultimately – who cares? Whatever happened, happened before we met these characters, and as it turns out, we’ll only be riding along with Dewey for a short period of his life – especially since he can’t remember who he was before he was Dewey Decimal. His “system” involves lots of unidentified pills that he has to take at very specific intervals, and regular OCD quirks like only making left turns prior to 11 am and dosing himself in Purell ™ whenever he touches, well, just about anything.

Honey Buzz ~ MISERY indeed...

Hoo boy. 

Bringing to mind a podcast we did sometime last year exploring Horror Musicals, we made mention of a book on the subject entitled Not Since Carrie a book by Ken Mandelbaum that describes and analyzes various flops throughout Broadway history, including the infamous Carrie: The Musical. Horror musicals are a creature in and of themselves. Some are amazing... and play off of the camp and humor hidden within the stories (Evil Dead: The Musical), or they're lightened by only a small measure of comedy (Sweeny Todd). 

When I think of Stephen King's Misery, I don't immediately thing "OMG, this totes needs a musical adaptation! Maybe there will be dancing pigs... Lion King style!!"

Revenge Wednesday Jam - 'The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get'

The more you ignore me, the closer I'll get
You're wasting your time
Beware, I bear more grudges than lonely high court judges
When you sleep, I will creep into your thoughts
Like a bad debt that you can't pay
Take the easy way, and give in... let me in...

As a Smiths/Moz fan for as long as I can remember, I am comfortable saying this: the majority of Morrissey's songs are pretty fucking creepy. I think on some level they're made even creepier by the fact that he has the voice of a frigging angel, but that's up for debate I suppose (feel free to debate me! I love a good musical chat.) However, for my money, Moz is at his absolute best when he's taking his love just a little too far, as he is in this week's solo song, "The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get." By title alone, this could practically be the stalker's anthem, but I still love it. Have a listen, get lost in the song, and embrace your inner creeper, darklings! ~RH

The Best Horror That Isn't Horror...

A Revenge Honey Top Ten from Linnie

Some films are clearly not meant to be horror per say, and yet... Something about them just flat out scares the crap out of you. It may be a single scene, a moment, or even the general theme of the movie, but all you know is that the film left you totally unsettled (12 Years a Slave wrecked me worse than any slasher film). Some of these unnerving movies have ended up becoming my favorites, mostly because they confused the crap out of me with their tonal mindfucks. A lot of them are classic foreign films, but some are newer American films that have pushed the boundaries of genre with great success.

Rent, watch, and enjoy!

Honey Buzz ~ Zachary Quinto is coming to HANNIBAL!

The amount and variety of happy dances performed by the Honeys over both seasons of Hannibal are truly epic in nature and our love for this beautiful horror series is deep and full of juicy red blood.

oh GODS yes

Everly: All the Things... None of them Good.

The nudity in this poster? 100% unnecessary.
A Revenge Honey New Release Review by Linnie

Everly (2015)

How do you solve a problem like Everly, a film that tries to be everything to everyone and thus ends up satisfying no one at all? This is a common problem with revenge films that attempt to mimic Luc Besson's "badass heroine with an ax to grind" formula, only to find that Luc Besson is known as the master of this genre for a reason. Only he can do it (and even he sometimes fails). But Everly is different because Everly... well, Everly stars Salma Hayek: a woman that almost every Honey would likely follow into bloody battle. So watching this film, directed by Joe Lynch (Knights of Badassdom) was mildly torturous for your Revenge Honey, as I could ALMOST see the film that might have been, had Luc Besson been the one at the helm.

Instead, what we have is another major 2015 disappointment and my latest, "Headache of the Week." So join me, darklings, into the absolutely incomprehensible nonsense that is Everly.